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it's not long before milo's on his knees , the rest of his body leaned forward as his head is hidden between his arms in his best attempt to keep his panic under control. zack's voice comes through the door , but it's soft and milo has to try his utter best to register it while not completely losing it.
'' go away , '' his voice trembles from both distress and the sheer volume he has to speak in for zack to hear the words. it's muffled , but loud enough that he hopes zack stops talking and leaves him alone for a bit.
his chest tightens more , and milo squeezes his eyes shut , a couple of tears easily spilling as his body shakes. he's angry and he feels betrayed. he can't find it in himself yet to try and understand things from zack's point of view , his emotions completely clouding his judgement of the situation. the thought that zack has given his father money for months makes him feel sick with shivers. he doesn't know how much time has passed when his body has finally calmed down , and his muscles ache from the intense strain he's put on them to hold himself grounded.
milo gets up to his feet and sniffles , wiping at the tears that have stained his cheeks as he finds a bag and begins to throw random necessities and clothes inside of it. he needs to get out and go to a place where he doesn't feel this smothered by lies and deception.
it breaks his heart altogether , crying even more now as he's about to head out of the door and separate himself from the one person he thought he could never live without. and he can't , because that's how attached milo has grown to zack , and he doesn't want to leave ... but he doesn't want to be around zack either.
he opens his door once he's finished packing most of the stuff he thinks he needs , not looking out and nearly stumbling over the plastic bag filled with snacks. it makes milo pout at the idea that zack put this here , but he continues to head for the hallway as he passes the living room , where zack is at together with their pets. mimmy strides towards him , but milo shakes his head and looks at zack. '' i'm going to my mom , '' he states , immediately looking away before he cries even more.
zack doesn't expect it at all when he finally sees milo again from the floor of their living room , a large bag draped across his boyfriend’s body as he heads for the front door. then comes the biggest drop in his stomach.
" your mom ? " he repeats , a look of confusion clear over his face. " why are you taking all of that stuff with you ? "
zack knows exactly why , but he doesn't want to believe that this is what it's come to. to see milo do this , the last person in the world to run away from conflict that arises between them — he's the one that taught zack to not do this after all. had he really crossed that big of a line ? he doesn't understand it. he doesn't understand why milo won't just talk to him.
despite feeling like running to him will only make it worse , a voice in the back of his head that urges him to not keep asking milo to stay , it'll only push him further away , zack does it anyway. he stands up and walks to his boyfriend's side with that worry thumping against his chest again. a hand reaches out and tugs at the packed bag on the other's shoulder , " don't take this with you. don't act like you're just going to leave like this without us talking. "
there's by far not enough time for yejun to wake up , recollect the memories from last night , come to terms with them and then face hyunjun again. he thinks it's literally thirty seconds since waking up , before the taller walks in and immediately meets eyes with him. yejun's heart stops for a second , he swears it. why does he have to look like that right now ? when there's nothing left for yejun to imagine anymore now.
hyunjun moves on , however , and talks like nothing has happened. nothing serious between them. yejun doesn't know what to say , doesn't know if he should even say something at all.
he remains unmoved in their bed , but the longer he does so , the clearer previously blurry memories become. hyunjun , who kissed him first , undressed himself , and took things further than they ever should have. it's like their night together has been imprinted in the bed , because it all comes flooding back in so fast , yejun no longer wants to be there anymore.
'' huh ... uhm ... coffee , yeah , '' he responds slowly , and begins to drag himself away from the sheets , trying to keep his cool when there's a storm of emotions coursing through him. yejun swallows and runs a hand through his hair , clenching his jaw , willing the pain in his lower back away before he decides to stand up and wobble his way towards the shower.
'' jun , do you ... '' he feels a knot in his stomach , his heart hammering against his chest. he doesn't want to ask this. he really doesn't want to. '' last night ... how much did we drink ? '' yejun knows , but he wonders if hyunjun does. '' do you remember anything ? ''
hyunjun digs through the clothes in his suitcase longer than he needs to as yejun slowly moves around the room behind him , keeping his attention busy and purposely off of the other man. though when a question is posed , his movements slow and hyunjun hesitates before finally turning to face him.
it's forced , but his blank expression morphs into something playful. that typical , cool grin. " mm .. i don't know , " he says , " too much like always , i guess. "
the ball is in his court. he knows that whatever move he makes next is decisive , and hyunjun doesn’t feel like there’s enough fucking time in the whole world to think it through. to make sense of anything swirling inside of him now , much less the way he felt last night. why he’d crossed a line , or if he truly ever meant to , or if he regretted it now or was so thankful that it’d finally happened. the two of them. the panic sits tight in his throat , but he swallows it down without so much as a questionable blink of an eye , and he decides right then and there that the best way for him to deal with it , is to simply not deal with it at all. not now. not if he can help it.
he rises back to his feet , a couple of garments in hand before he nonchalantly tosses them out onto the bed.
" why ? did something happen ? " he stills then , slowly fading out of his own amusement when he studies yejun's features , carefully , as he half - expects him to be the one to rip the band aid off. but he has trouble reading him and he feels so unusually nervous beneath the way yejun looks at him now. " i didn't do something stupid , did i ? "
a few months of hiding the fact he was giving money to milo's father. a few months of lying whenever milo would just happen to mention his horrible parent , and how calm it's been lately. how nice it had been. he doesn't want to tell zack that now , though.
'' you don't know that , '' milo snaps back , not expecting to give into the edge he's been feeling already. but zack is resentful and defensive , maybe even a little hurt. milo doesn't understand. '' you never told me. you lied to me. you went behind my back ! that's not fair — '' he swallows down a quiet sob , and with it barely avoids choking on his words. he just can't seem to wrap his head around the fact zack would do something like that , in this way , without ever communicating with milo for even a little bit.
milo begins to rub his chest harder , and bites down on his lip to contain any painful noises as his mind races through his ... their options. what now ?
'' this is not ... i — i thought we could be honest with each other , '' milo manages to push out before the air around him becomes suffocating and zack's words become too much. he takes a few steps back , before turning around and heading toward his own room. it's a miracle he hasn't spat out in a panic attack yet , but feels it reaching for the surfaces as he closes the door behind him and crouches down on the ground , keeping his head between his arms in an attempt to find some form of solace inside the chaos that is his mind and body at the moment.
the slightest crease appears between zack's eyes. he wants to tell him that yes , he does know that. how many times could he recall pushing milo to do more , only to be met with the same weak assurance that he's handling it. nothing ever changed. not until now.
he wants to tell him all of this , but milo doesn't allow him the space to retaliate with his own further defenses.
" oh come on , what does — of course we can be honest with each other. don't say that. milo , hey — " the younger already has his back turned before making his way across the hall. out of zack's sight , out of his reach.
on the floor , the plastic bag full of snacks is left behind and the sight of it both pains zack and irritates him. he thinks of milo's face before he walked away , his soft eyes flinching through emotions of shame and hurt and anger. zack picks up the bag and lets it hang loose off his fingers before stepping in front of milo's shut door.
" milo , " he tries , soothing his voice into something a little calmer than he had used before. " don't lock yourself away like this. i don't want to do this. " the bag of goods is gently placed between him and the frame of the door , where he'll leave it if no resolve comes. he gives a small sigh and he leans against the wall dividing them before trying once more. " i know you're taking this whole thing as me lying and hiding from you , but that's not what it is. that's not what i did. okay ? you take care of everyone .. your mom , your sister. but who takes care of you with something like this ? " it's quiet for a moment , and zack takes advantage of the silence to lean closer and try to hear anything from the other side.
nothing.
" i just wanted to be the one to do that. to take care of this so that , for once , you didn't have to. milo .. please , come on. "
cha eunwoo in the wonderfools (netflix - 2026)

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it stings and it hurts more than he could've anticipated , the sharp pain worsening inside his chest as zack confirms all of it. that he's been giving milo's dad money to stay away from him , and putting together a restraining order together with his father — all behind his back , and milo had no idea. not for even a second that he ever had an odd feeling around zack.
'' for how long , exactly ? '' part of him wants to know , but milo realizes that doesn't even matter. he shakes his head quickly , looking down , unable to look zack in the eyes for what must be the first time since they discovered who they were to each other. when they used to meet as gangjae and doha. '' no ... why not just talk to me ? i — '' he's found it strange already , the lack of contact his father has been showing him or his mother or sister. there has been none , and while he sometimes wondered why , milo just did not have the energy to ask and find out why.
but he never imagined it would be because of zack , and his father. '' why keep this from me ? that's my dad. this is so ... so fucked up. '' his breathing begins to pick up a little , and his disbelief slowly twists into something more bitter. uglier. while zack swears he meant well by this , milo doesn't feel the sincerity of it. not when it's been done in secret , and in a way his father didn't deserve to get away with it. not with the money from his boyfriend. '' i don't understand , zack. why couldn't you tell me ? '' there's a hint of desperation in his voice now , wanting to know what happened to the unconditional trust they had in each other.
" i don't know , " he answers. but the lie tastes too bitter in an already sour throat. " a few months. i think i went to my father at the end of february. "
his gaze is avoided entirely and zack can feel the tether between them loosening. was it much worse than he had presumed it to be ? or did he always know that it was wrong , that milo would hate it , that this is the reason he had avoided bringing it up on his own ?
the embarrassment seeps deeper into his skin the more milo digs and the frustration that is pointed at his father starts to shift into something ugly and overbearing. he knows that he isn't the victim here , knows that milo has been more caught off guard than he has and owns the right to chastise him , yet zack begins to grow incredibly defensive.
" tell you for what reason ? " warmth floods zack's face. behind his guilt , a slow anger rises. " so you could immediately tell me to not worry about it and keep letting it happen ? you never would have let me get involved. you can at least admit that. "
it's not an angry kind of feeling , because milo is able to suppress most of it when he returns , and it doesn't exactly feel like sadness either. it's more like disbelief , and pure confusion. as if it's supposed to be a joke. a fever dream. zack will tell him soon enough that none of it is true , right ?
so why does it feel like his heart is nearly beating out of his chest ? it's too tight , his ribcage , and it hurts. his movements are slow , dreading to face his boyfriend and making it come true. feet shuffle towards zack's room , where he finds him behind his computer. '' i'm back , '' he announces himself as he slowly approaches zack. the plastic bag filled with snacks from his late night run to the store in one hand , a couple of papers in the other hand. he drops the plastic bag on the ground , and carelessly drops the papers on the desk.
'' your dad was in the parking lot. you weren't answering his calls , he said , '' milo feels like throwing up already , and exhales a huge sigh that doesn't elevate even a single bit of anxiety. his entire body feels like it's going to cramp up , and he wants to curl himself into a ball on the ground. '' he gave me the restraining order , for my dad. he said you would know what to do. ''
milo takes a small step back , a hand coming up to place upon his chest , rubbing the space there for any sense of serenity. '' a-and that you could stop giving him money now. '' his head starts to spin now that he's said it all , and it still does not make sense to him. '' zack ... '' milo quietly says , '' what — what is this ? i-i don't understand. ''
he can just barely hear the front door click open over the volume of his music , and then comes that hidden hike of eagerness that he always gets when his partner comes around. the approaching steps are slow , shuffled , and zack turns his chair just enough to find something off in milo's demeanor. it's not the usual look on his face when he comes home bearing snacks for the two of them.
" welcome back , boyfriend. " he turns his chair a little more so that he's now fully facing the other. he doesn't even notice the papers in his hands until they're dropped on his desk. zack's heart sinks.
the top page is the same agreement he'd watched his father write up. the one that he promised to zack , swore on everything for the first time in his life , that he would keep between them. zack doesn't know why he , for the first time in his life , believed him.
his back is to milo now , facing the papers that he no longer reads as he closes his eyes beneath his nervous engulfment while milo continues to talk. he's guilty and he's sorry , but he also isn't at all , and mostly he's so fucking angry with his father. because this isn't the way milo was supposed to find out. it wasn't supposed to be from anyone but him.
" milo , " the word springs out of him like a doleful sigh , but the other keeps on explaining. zack opens his eyes then and he turns in his seat still , unsure how to physically handle what's unfolding before him. " milo , i'm .. i was going to tell you. i was going to tell you about this. "
now , zack rises from his chair and he chances a step forward , hoping being closer would somehow magically make this all easier. but it doesn't. because he can see that rise and fall of panic in his partner's eyes and for the first time in a while , he doesn't know if he should reach out and soothe it. " yes , alright , i've been — i've been sending your dad money. just for a little while. just to get him off your back and until i could figure out something else. " saying it all out loud like this only makes zack feel worse , but he goes on in his full honesty. " but it worked , didn't it ? he hasn't been bothering you. so it's fine. he's not getting anymore money. he's not — he's not going to bother you or your family anymore. it's done. i promise. please , this was just to help you. "
a bewildered expression paints her face when kitae is stricken by a sudden headache — worse enough that he lets go of her and gives her the chance to take a few steps back away from him. behind her , jio appears and with a gentle voice , urges the unpleasant presence of kitae to leave the club.
without any more words that could've possibly led to an altercation , the man turns and heads for the exit with jio close to him. nabi stands there for a moment as the pair disappears to outside , her heartbeat rapid and breathing heightened while trying to shake off the odd feeling the interaction gave her just now. the random migraine , and the way he said nothing else as if scared of jio.
nabi feels her legs slightly shake as she begins to walk toward the exit as well , quietly pushing the door ajar and looking through the gap. she does not want to draw too much attention to herself in case they might still be just outside down the alleyway , or in case kitae comes back.
as soon as the cool night air hits his face , jio lets go of it. he releases the man from the painful trance and allows him full control over his own body again. it's his favorite part. that poor , confused look they give once they snap out of it. that coalescence of anger and anxiety that must be smothering them.
jio might not be able to get into her head , but he knows that nabi is behind him. he can hear the slow creep of the club door opening even from how far he stands. she must be curious. it's okay , he thinks , why wouldn't she be ?
because of this , he's careful with what he says. not because he cares about being found out , but because he's entertained by the show before him. the panic that's about to pulse through this stranger when he plays with him. " think it's best if you don't come out here again , " he says aloud , a cool smirk hanging off his lips. but the rest is only heard within the confinement of the other man's head , " or around her at all. "
when he realizes jio's lips don't quite take shape of those words , that petrified look blankets his features again. " i'm doing you a favor. i could kill you just as easily as i'm speaking to you like this now. "
the stranger utters something beneath his breath then. could be a swear , could be a prayer. a plead to god. it didn't make a difference to jio either way.
that intense , mental pain strikes the man's head once more , and jio watches as he squirms and whimpers and presses a palm against one of his eyes , struggling for relief. " so , " jio concludes out loud , " go. "
the hesitation in the other's movements is his own this time , struck still by the disbelief of whatever kind of freak jio must be before he stumbles back , turns away , and runs as quickly as he can to his car parked on the side of the building.
how fuckin' pathetic , jio muses at this. how easy it is. it almost makes him want to double over in laughter. but all he does is turn back to the door. see if she's still there , watching.
˖ 𓂃 ★ @boysbye
the first thing hyunjun meets that morning is the splitting ache in the back of his head when he sits up , eyes in a squint beneath the harsh early light that comes through tokyo's hotel windows. the second thing , his best friend , half - naked and still passed out in the same bed right beside him. it's frightening the way his stomach flips almost immediately at the sight of him , the night before hitting him hard enough to make him feel unsteady. or perhaps that's just the copious amount of vodka still pumping through his system. how wasted did they get to go as far as they had ? obviously not wasted enough for the imagery to be so present , so vivid in his mind still.
he remembers most of it. the first taste of a kiss , the strip of their clothes , how much they'd ended up touching one another. how hard it was for him to think about anything other than how much he'd wanted yejun. what came over him ? and more importantly , how the fuck are they supposed to spend the rest of this trip together ? the four of them.
something doesn't feel right , but hyunjun is too purposefully stubborn to admit that it's the hangover. he pulls the covers off of his legs and he grabs his own clothes off the floor before heading into the room's shower. it takes him longer than usual , his body sluggish and feeling out of place ; and he half hopes , half fears that yejun's awake by the time that he's out.
a towel is draped loose around his hips as he walks out of the bathroom and hyunjun feels his body stutter , only a little , when he meets yejun's eyes across the room , the other man seemingly just beginning to wake up. hyunjun's gaze trails elsewhere and his fingers messily comb through his damp hair. " fuck , " he speaks up as he walks over to his half - open suitcase. " i drank too much again last night , didn't i ? " he forces up a chuckle that plays off well enough. " i can feel it. "
" i uh .. texted milo .. him and i are gonna go grab everyone coffee. you want anything ? zack is still asleep .. and i figured you want to shower or something. i reeked of alcohol when i woke up. "
kitae doesn't leave , or seems to be scared by her so-called threat of whistling down whatever security is still around. instead he reaches for her again , grabbing her wrist again and this time not easily letting go like before. nabi yanks her hand back to no avail , and her heart starts to race as the situation slowly escalates.
'' why ? i wouldn't hurt you. you think i would ? '' kitae asks , tone still as pleading , but so manipulating at the same time. nabi looks down at her wrist which he won't let go of , and scoffs. '' if you wouldn't , then let go — '' before the dancer can finish her sentence , she's pulled in for a forceful hug that causes her to freeze in place. it takes away nearly all of her ways to get away from the man that won't leave her alone , so her wide eyes look around quickly as customers and other workers have mostly exited the closing club already. her gaze finds jio's moving figure behind the bar , and concerned eyes in desperate need of help quietly try to find his gaze.
it's the second grab of her wrist that has jio slowing standing upright , his eyes focusing in on the man's face with no interest of what his intentions could possibly be. why he's here or what he wants with her. jio doesn't care. he only wants to know who the hell this guy thinks he is.
nabi is able to pull herself away from him , but just as quick does this annoyance try to move towards her again. jio squints in a concentrated focus and right as the stranger attempts his hand out to her , his own eyes squeeze shut and a look of pain suddenly falls upon his face. he lets out a cry and his hands come up to hold his head , all while jio never lets go of the hold his gaze has on him. in reality , the man will be left undamaged , only feeling the mimic of an illusioned pain , harsh and throbbing against the front of his skull. but that doesn't mean it hurts any less. it's obvious when the guy now hunched over in agony takes his own steps back , and jio appears from behind his place behind the bar. " she told you to go , " he speaks up , softening his eyes then. the man now seems to be able to stand up a little straighter and unknowingly finds the source of his torment. " so why don't we go ? "
it's all he has to say ; the man , albeit slow and wavering as if trying to fight his own movements , looks to nabi once and then back to jio before he turns on his heels and heads toward the door he entered from. jio , who follows close behind him out the same door , doesn't offer her a look at all.

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'' YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT what i meant by that — '' this infuriates her , clenching her fists next to her body and it only worsens when he can no longer be bothered to help her get home. great. all men are truly the same and one has got to be a co-worker she works with on most of her nights. '' ugh , '' with a roll of her eyes , it indicates the end of their conversation ( to her at least ) and nabi makes her way towards the dressing rooms. it gives her the space and time to change clothes and find herself a ride. without realizing how fast time has flown by , the dancer finally begins to make her way out of the club and fastens her pace past the bar jio works behind when her shoulder bumps into somebody else's and she's about to apologize to the probable customer when eyes meet with one of her past ... flings. '' what — '' she's unable to finish her sentence , or he's grabbing her wrist already : gentle but definitely not wished for. '' nabi , '' he speaks in a pleading tone. the girl immediately frees herself from his hold. '' kitae , '' is her response , deadpanning the man and taking the smallest back step. '' back already ? i wasn't expecting you so soon. '' she tilts her head and crosses her arms over her chest. '' actually , i wasn't expecting you at all. leave , before i call security. ''
out of sight out of mind the moment the woman disappears down the hall , except nabi never really does seem to escape his mind. as jio turns his own corner back behind the bar , his hands work to wipe down it's sticky surface while his thoughts continue to be enveloped by her. he doesn't typically cross the line with women. it's not necessarily needed to work his magic on them to get them to do things for him — his eyes have always done that naturally. but still , even the times he's tried with her , just to be sure . . nothing. what makes her different than every one else he can swoon and trick and reel in like the gullible , brainless fish they all are ?
commotion sounds from down the hall again , the loud chatter of all the dancers slipping through the door when it opens , and jio pretends not to notice when she walks by. he pretends for as long as he can , which is up until some tall uncertain man stops nabi. it's a face he doesn't recognize but she seems to. he'll watch from behind the bar , lining up glasses and busying himself with the rags , just to make sure the man doesn't try anything on her. for a moment he thinks that he'd let him. after all , he'd just be keeping his eyes to himself. part of him even considers pushing it further , getting in the man's head and inciting whatever small flicker of aggression he can sense. then she'll really need his help. but in the end , jio doesn't overstep. not yet. he notices the cautious step that nabi takes and leans his elbows forward against the bar , fiddling with an empty glass in his palms and itching for the stranger to try something , anything on nabi that could get him involved.
the waiting ends , the other line is answered and there's a brief silence that stretches for two seconds too long. then yoojin's voice comes through. it's distant and tired , crackling from probably the bad service and vague , but it's him and she hears him call for her.
'' yoojin ... '' she breathes back , her face folding in on itself , bracing for incoming tears. '' yoojin. ''
munhee turns herself away from the people scattered inside the café , facing the wooden wall as her vision blurs and her chest tightens. '' i-it's me. '' the girl sniffles , relief crashing over her so hard it leaves her flushed and slightly trembling. there's a part of her embarrassed for reacting this way , but there's no reason to act as if it's fine when it's yoojin. it's exactly that : it's yoojin , the one she feels she left behind , along with everything they were.
'' i'm so sorry , yoojin , '' munhee apologizes in a whisper , covering her eyes with her free hand as she feels tears escape. '' i'm sorry i left the way i did. i read your messages when i could , and listened to your voicemails. '' he hadn't sounded like himself at all , voice broken even though it sounded like he did his best to cover that up. unfortunately for him , munhee knows him through and through. she knows how soft he is beneath everything. '' i miss you ... i miss you so much. ''
she lowers her hand and begins to tug on the phone's cord , twirling it around her finger as tears streak freely down her cheeks. it's hard not to miss the shaking in her voice. '' it's late there , right ? did i ... did i wake you ? ''
her voice comes through , sweet and pained and everything he's ached to hear for weeks. but most importantly , it's real. this time his eyes burn beneath tears of relief. it's hard to hear the deep sniffling on the other end , though yoojin is sure he would have teared up like this no matter how she answered.
the man squeezes his eyes shut and the phone is held tight against his ear for fear he'd miss even the faintest breath slip from her mouth. he missed her so much already , he couldn't bare to miss anything else.
" no , you don't— i'm the one that owes you an apology. okay ? i was being stupid , baby , i don't know what i was thinking. i was just so hurt to think of you being away from me for so long. i was selfish. " he takes in a deep breath of his own , his eyes keeping closed as he lays back against the mattress. " all of that stuff i said .. forget it. i don't want to take a break or make you meet me in the middle or , whatever , alright ? i want you to do anything in this world that you want and i just want to be on your side when you do it. i'm not mad. i'm proud of you. and , i miss you too. so much. "
it feels like a weight off his shoulders to say it all at once. a coalescence of guilt and aggressive thoughts that have homed his heart for too long finally formed and off his chest.
" don't worry about the time here , " he soothes upon hearing the shake in her voice , " i'm going to sleep better than ever. "
a small beat passes and yoojin sighs , light and contemplative. as worried sick as he's been over munhee in her absence , he's realizing now how much she's probably been wearing herself down over his own wellbeing too. has he been sleeping okay ? eating enough ? yoojin hopes she's been taking better care than he has.
" how much time do you have to talk ? are you working right now ? " there's a million questions lining up in his head , but this is where he'll start for now. he doesn't want to overwhelm her. " it's so nice to hear your voice. "
'' do whatever you want. i don't care. '' no , really , she doesn't. from the day she met jongtae , sora knew there was no point in trying to change jongtae , or correct his habits. not that she wants to ; enabling him is way more fun. she slips away from jongtae's warmth rather reluctantly , pulling a robe around herself and making the minimal effort to fix her hair a little. '' i don't know who it is , '' she adds over her shoulder , '' so just wait here. ''
that's the least he can do , right ? stay put , like the good boy he's never been.
sora makes her way towards her front door rather lazily , a sigh slipping from her lips and tilting her head back for a moment. she really isn't in the mood for company. not when she's spending her time very well with jongtae tangled in her sheets.
sora barely gets the door open before it's shoved wide , forceful enough to steal a startled yelp from her throat. she stumbles back , only to be caught immediately , strong arms locking around her waist and keeping her upright. they belong to her boyfriend , just it's not the one lying in her bed right now. '' yeongsu , what — '' both her palms press against his chest , to no avail. he's persistent and holds her tighter instead , as he looks down at her , gaze filled with anger and a hint of something way more darker than that.
'' are you alone ? why haven't you answered my messages ? '' he buries her with suffocating questions that she can't answer like this , with the very high chance of getting hurt. '' you're — you're seeing someone else , aren't you ? '' his grip tightens as if he already knows the answer.
she swears she finds hurt in his words — hurt she couldn't care less for , because he couldn't ever care for her aching either. not even in a twisted , ugly way she would've accepted too. the bare minimum , barely ever reached. '' let go , yeongsu , '' sora urges him , nails digging into his arms as she tries to push away again. panic flickers sharp and sudden in her chest. '' yeongsu , please , i can't — breathe — ''
the woman pulls off of him completely now and jongtae sinks a little further into the bedding when the cold air replaces her spot in his bare lap. his eyes watch her every step out of the room , lips that always home a smirk falling flat once he's left alone and to his own devices for who knows how long. he looks around the place before he leans over the side of the bed to grab one of her cigarette's from the side table. it sticks between his lips but he keeps it unlit while his tongue fiddles with the end that's in his mouth. for a moment he doesn't hear anything in the other room and he wonders if it really could be someone other than her boyfriend. the assumption follows the incessant blowing up of her phone he'd done not that long ago: ring after ring despite every text going ignored , so damn annoying. so clingy.
but suddenly a bang is heard and jongtae doesn't move a muscle other than the slight tilt of his head in it's direction. he can't tell what or who it is from where he sits. the bedroom door is closed and the harsh flow of the air conditioning coming through the vents muffles any words spoken. or in this case , yelled.
definitely a boyfriend.
jongtae sighs as he yanks the covers back , fishing out his own jeans from the pile of clothes they'd created in a heated moment hours ago. " fucking hell , " he mumbles into the cigarette still sitting between his teeth. it stays there even as he pulls the pants up his legs , even as he opens the bedroom door and catches sight of a distressed sora in such an aggressive position.
the man releases his grip just a little before jongtae even stands between them , noticing him approaching with a frown and a half naked frame that says: ah , that's right , you caught me.
" you ? you're the guy she's seeing ? " the stranger to jongtae speaks up in a tone of surprise that makes him chuckle. " mhm , " jongtae confirms with a hum , reaching out and grabbing the man by the front of his shirt hard enough to make him lose his grasp on sora , whose now left plenty of steps behind them as jongtae shoves him out the opened front door. the man stumbles backward here and there , and it's not until jongtae has him pressed against the ledge that looks over a parking lot that he's upright again. " and now you're the one seeing me , so what are we going to do ? "
jongtae presses him further over the ledge until his balance stutters again and he loses hold of his feet on the ground , this time eliciting both hands of the man to come up in a panic to try to pull free from a fist that just won't let go. " come on .. " jongtae smiles down at the guy as he coos teasingly , " you must have come with a better fight than this. or , were you really only expecting to put your hands on the girl ? "
he lets go then and takes a step back while sora's boyfriend stumbles forward , straightening out his shirt in some act of embarrassed recomposure. it's the perfect opportunity to come forth and swing at jongtae while he's taking a moment to pull a lighter out of his back pocket. only , jongtae expects this , of course. he remembers what sora had said back at the club the first time they'd met. how much her boyfriend must have been itching to fight him back then , and even more so now after finding him alone with her in her own home , the scent of her marked all over some other guy.
jongtae perfectly dodges the first punch and immediately counteracts with the swing of his own hand. the one that holds the lighter. the metal tip of it , just barely exposed out of his hand , jams right into the side of the other man's face , sending him to the concrete floor.
" that's the second time you've interrupted me today , " jongtae tsks. he flicks the lighter alive this time , finally lighting the cigarette between his lips and sucking in a rather generous puff. the smoke begins to cloud just as he squats down to the ground , taking a good look at the guy busy pressing his hands to the gash in his cheek. how badly he wishes he could have just thrown him over the ledge , not high enough to kill the guy but a permanent injury was likely. one that would surely remind him to think twice before trying a hand on either of them. but he's feeling generous , acknowledging the fact that this isn't only his toy to play with when he looks over to sora with that impassive look in his eyes. asking all within a glance if he should take this show any further , or if she would prefer to step in from here.
the beginnings of regret claw on the inside of his ribcage , swallowing his food a lot harder than before as he has to chew on it over and over again until he can't bear to carry it inside his mouth any longer. luckily , like everything else , yuna takes it lightly and responds in kind. it's what he kind of expected of her , but a part of him remains afraid he might've opened up too much. too early , too vulnerable. something his old man taught him not to be.
she's stopped eating , is looking at him and his throat feels too tight to continue to eat. wonjae gives her a glance. it was supposed to be a short one , but he's met with the dazzling sight of his fiancée smiling at him. it leaves him puzzled at first , unsure whether she's smiling because of him complimenting the eel at last , or something else. either way , he's entranced for a moment and stares as she continues to enlighten her side of the story , delivering it with that easy warmth of hers.
it's refreshing and confirms his suspicions all at the same time. whatever girl would've landed the spot of his betrothed would have a life far from romantic and passionate in the end. because that's just the way his family is put together , how his legacy and himself has been put together over the years as the eldest son. the future head of the family : polished surfaces covering fractures too deep to fix.
wonjae has to tear his eyes away from yuna the same way she's looking out of the window at this point and he picks up his glass of wine to cope with the strange tension between them — or maybe the tension is all in his head.
'' people like us ... '' he sits on her words , churning over them many times in a brief few seconds. it's as much time as he allows himself , before he tries to reply carefully , not too exposed but wanting to give her something to work with while the question weighs heavily on his mind , '' if you could go back knowing what you know today … '' he begins , eyes on the glass before lifting them to her , '' would you do things differently ? ''
the question is vague , but heavy and wonjae hopes yuna is able to decipher it. would she have turned down his proposal ? would she have avoided him in the first place ? any sane person would have fled , right ?
and yet , a sparkle of hope remains in his eyes as he looks back to her , curious what she would say to that. how she would answer it , or be smart about it and steer clear of the actual question asked. to give her that little push maybe needed , he's one step ahead of her as he speaks , '' i would. i wouldn't pretend as much. it's a little tiring at this point ... ''
she hesitates beneath the sudden weight of the question posed , eyeing the man before her and wondering where her partner had gone. the usually serious man in his serious suit and his unwavering , serious face. yuna can’t recall the last time the two of them had gotten so personal with one another. so intimate.
she’s glad she hesitated. an answer seems to find him sooner than it does her , making her wonder if this is something that finds him often. but she doesn't want to give him an answer. not her answer. not yet. not when his has opened something up between them now , laid bare on the dinner table and too tempting to poke at.
" perhaps it's not a matter of if you would , rather than if you could. " she challenges him , bringing her glass to her lips again. " could we have done anything differently ? if the answer is yes , then .. well , that's just heartbreaking , isn't it ? "
here is where she takes the quiet , small and appropriate sip of wine and admires the shift , if any , in wonjae's face , hoping that he will take it further instead of swallowing down everything they've said. the theoretical feels uncomfortably out of place otherwise.
" i don't know if i would have. "
no matter how badly he wants to hear her answer his questions , now that he finally has her within his reach and alone , hyun doesn't want her to be answering him like this. trembling , frightened and wrapped in quiet embarrassment. he can only imagine what she must feel like after facing the person she disappeared from years ago , only to be caught and cornered.
hyun sighs and catches a sniffle , a movement that looks like she's wiping away tears , and he tries not to crack. not just yet , not already. '' yeah , okay , '' he quietly replies with less emotion than before , and walks closer to her , only to open the door near her that shows the exit from the office.
a hesitant hand carefully places itself on the small of her back , guiding her out of the room as he follows behind. one of his guys stands watch by the end of the hallway and hyun drops his hand from areum's back to quietly let him know he'll be leaving and taking the girl with him , and that he'll want to hear what comes of dongha by tomorrow morning.
after that , hyun makes sure they're using a more secluded and less rowdy passage to make their way out of his bustling , new club. his hand returns to her back , still not pressing too much but wanting to make sure she still follows him without them being bothered by too many people.
eventually , they find themselves in his car not too far from the club , and hyun takes a moment to just sit and think. he's got areum in his car. it would be so easy now to just drive to his place and convince her to stay there with him , that he'll take care of everything and she doesn't have to settle for anything less than she actually deserves. but areum is incredibly intelligent and kind and hyun would never misuse that part of her. not intentionally at least.
he starts the car and begins to put on his seatbelt. '' where do you want to go ? i ... i can take you home , or to my place. or just somewhere else. anywhere. '' hyun struggles not to stutter a little , since he finds it important to get areum out of here to a place where she's comfortable enough to face and talk to him.
home , wherever that was. it didn't exist for her. the initial temporary stay at dongha's apartment was beginning to look more and more permanent each passing day. she dreaded it and she wanted out , but areum unfortunately didn't have the privilege of choosing otherwise. not at this point. it seemed like an awful idea to go to hyun's place too , no matter how tempting. how difficult it is to shift her vision out the passenger window and force herself to pretend like she never heard him offer it.
" the park. "
her hands come up to warm her bare arms as she muses on about something in her pause. it's cold out and she isn't really dressed for it , but it's the only place she wants to be.
" any park. the closest one .. the furthest. you can pick. "

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it feels embarrassing , terrifying , and strangely relieving all at once that samuel is here to witness his meltdown firsthand. that somebody is here at all — somebody who radiates a calming presence just by existing in the same space as him. and from what haneul knows , or at least hopes is true , priests are meant to be the last people to pass judgement on somebody. still , it doesn't stop the fear from clawing violently at the inside of his chest , like something desperate to escape. his breathing feels too shallow , his thoughts too loud.
he's too dumbfounded to say anything when samuel offers to try the code himself. too caught up in his panic to even register how strange it is that the other man thinks he might know it at all. the numbers blur together in his own mind , and all he can think about is messing it up — locking himself out of a place that's supposed to be his home.
then the door opens. the panic doesn't vanish , but it shifts , changing into something heavier.
'' o-oh … alright , '' haneul quietly replies , his voice small as he steps past samuel and into the apartment. he can't help but glance at him again , his eyes lingering longer than intended. how does the hospital know the code to his door ? had he written it down somewhere himself ? prepared for something like this — the impossibly small chance that he would forget parts of his own life ?
'' thank you , '' he adds. the hallway feels unfamiliar at first , but after a few steps something shifts. the feeling of coming home creeps in slowly. it's subtle , like his mind is testing the waters. it's strange , but there's something recognizable about it. his body seems to know what to do even when his brain doesn't. he takes off his shoes without thinking , setting them neatly aside. he shuffles toward the living space and places his bag on the kitchen table because it feels like the right place for it. like he's done it before.
he pauses there , finally taking a proper look around and waiting for samuel to step inside as well. '' father … '' haneul says softly , glancing over his shoulder. his hands come together instinctively , fingers fumbling with each other as he searches for something to do with them. '' have you … been here before ? '' the question lingers in the air. if samuel has supported him before , if he really has been such a presence in his life , then they must've met outside of a church , too. he adds more quietly , '' do you know how long i've been living here ? ''
haneul steps inside first , leaving samuel behind in his trail of infectious panic. for a while he only stands there , uncertain and ashamed and guilty for the memories that cling to him still. the life that he's lived in this apartment was no longer his life at all. it felt so far away from him , like it was a different life entirely. haneul was the one to stay , to continue a life here and yet , he's the one with no memory of it at all.
he holds his breath when he finally joins the other man inside and the apartment feels both familiar and unfamiliar. it's been a while since he's been here last and the walls are mostly empty now and some of the furniture has shifted. but the heart of the apartment is all the same. the dark wood floors , the way too narrow hallway , the old awning windows that he loved so much. samuel watches as haneul looks around , as if it's the first time he's ever done so , and it feels so strange to witness him recognize nothing. how it doesn't all flood back to him the way it does samuel.
father.
for the first time in his life he flinches at that.
" yes ? " he swallows , bracing himself for the inevitably difficult questions to follow. there's not a chance he can allow himself to keep returning with lies but a stretch of the truth will make do when necessary. " uh , " he looks away briefly to the living room , " yes. i have. we .. were good friends , i guess. though i haven't been here in a while. "
slowly , samuel walks into the kitchen where haneul stands , spotting a notepad and small pen attached to the front of the fridge. on it appears a grocery list in the making , but samuel tears off the bottom half and scribbles something onto the paper before sliding it onto the counter.
not even a full hour with this man and samuel finds himself already tangled up in whatever story he's been creating between them. good friends could have easily been why he knew the passcode , which is conveniently also the date haneul inquires about. but he'll leave that to him to figure out on his own.
" i'm not sure exactly , " he fibs. he reaches up and rubs his neck in thought. " three years ? four ? i feel like you've maybe mentioned something like that before. "
'' because ! because ... '' kiyoon throws his hands up in frustration , fingers tangling at the back of his neck as his head tips back , eyes fixed on the ceiling like it might give him answers. '' i owe my life to these powers. without them , we'd still be — '' he stops himself , teeth grinding together , his jaw tight. they'd both still be in a coma , never destined to wake up again. the pressure he feels to get his powers back to their full strength is immense. he needs them to respond the way they used to , and at this point it's been weeks of barely any progress. '' i'm not doing better. how am i supposed to practice my defenses if you're not fighting back ? ''
not to mention he hasn't landed a single hit on seyoon either. not one that mattered anyway — a brushed arm , a knuckle grazing his cheek. but seyoon is healing way better from his accident than kiyoon is , when that's supposed to be his whole thing.
'' who's going to heal them ? '' kiyoon's head slowly drops forward , his body instinctively reaching for his abilities that just aren't really there. everything feels thin and incomplete. '' juhyeon hasn't been in contact for days. i've tried. i went to yung , but they keep sending me away. ''
kiyoon has slowly started to realize whatever he did back then — whatever it took to pull seyoon back from death's doorstep — it cost him more than he ever imagined. more than anyone could have known , really. kiyoon slowly lowers himself to the floor , closing his tired eyes. '' i can't relax. i don't know what to do ... ''
" you are doing better , " he presses , not giving it up , " you said it yourself — we were just bedbound not that long ago. isn't it good enough for now to be able to do just this ? think about it and stop pushing yourself when you don't have to. "
seyoon stares out his brother a few seconds longer , as if to force the idea through , before turning away to grab a water bottle at the corner of the room.
every point kiyoon brings to the air after that is ignored , answered with nothing but silence and seyoon closing his eyes shut. it must be hard , he knows that it is .. but it's something that is simply out of their hands and it doesn't seem to be doing either of them any good for them to keep going in circles like this. for seyoon to keep shoving these positive affirmations down the other's throat.
he turns back to kiyoon and his shoulders fall when he finds him on the floor now. he looks so small like this , so dejected , and seyoon hates that he knows exactly what's going through his head. how he feels like he's letting everyone else down. he wishes he could make him believe that was far from the truth , it was , but kiyoon was stubborn and most of anything seyoon said to him was taken as nothing more than obligated kindness.
almost instantly though , seyoon meets his side , taking the spot on the floor next to him. he leans his head back against the wall instead of looking over , and it feels nice to stretch his legs out in front of him.
" you know , after you were born , i felt really guilty for a long time for not moving back home. for staying with our grandmother. i resented mom and dad too much. " the sentiment seems to come out of nowhere , but seyoon's eyes still out in front of him , focused on something in the distance as he recalls the memory. " and then dad died .. and i felt even more guilt , because i just held onto all the anger i felt while he was still alive and it wasn't until he was gone that i finally forgave him. but losing dad .. it helped me forgive mom too. i wanted to be somebody's son again. and .. i wanted to try being a real brother to you. "