pri

But he doesn't know who Bad Bunny is, and Bad Bunny doesn't know who Shane is... So they're both just making small talk with this hot guy they met at the bar while they wait for their drinks. They're enjoying talking to someone who doesn't know their celebrity status. And Shane is getting a little flustered despite being married, because damn if this guy isn't his type, and Bad Bunny is lowkey flirting with him.

And then Ilya shows up and has a heart attack. Alternating between fanboying over Bad Bunny and wanting to fight him. Just standing there frozen with this bonkers expression on his face.

«Waiting for someone that will never return to you again»

AU, where Jayce didn’t have enough time to do anything at that moment.

But then Hollander seems,,, weirdly pleased?? And,,, actually complies?? Before practically skipping off, like he got what he wanted?? What??

And then they're texting back and forth and Ilya still partly thinks this is some kind of long con, but then it's been weeks and then it's been longer and suddenly they're at the draft and Shane is looking around the room and when he spots Ilya his entire face lights up and he's making a beeline for Ilya and he's still smiling as he says "Ilya!" like he's happy to see him,,, because he IS happy to see him. Because they've been messaging basically constantly for months now and oh fuck oh shit Ilya is so so deeply screwed.

BUT CONSIDER. It would be so fucking funny to make him a male model. Give him an Anok Yai style career where a street photo of him goes viral and agencies are calling him every day. No phone? No problem, you've got a job and a landlord. After a month of this he's like, you know what? Why *shouldn't* I be a male model? I ran away from home because I didn't want to be involved in a bullshit war between secret societies that probably isn't even real. What's the harm. And then a month later he opens a Prada show and his career explodes.

He'd do fantastic, he walks like a panther who's coming to eat you and has (and I am saying this because the modeling industry is notably racist) enough ethnic features to be interesting but not so many that he can't pass as white. Like a male Bella Hadid. Dolce & Gabbana would love him.

Anyway the really funny part is imagining Bill Miles tearing his hair out over the fact that his son has a Wikipedia page with his face on it. Asbtergo knows who he is ("why is Altair Ibn-La'Had in my copy of Vogue") but can't actually kidnap him easily because he's high profile enough that they can't just disappear him with no issues. Obviously they do kidnap him eventually but I think they put a lot more prep into it than "pull him out of his apartment 24 hours after they first ping his ID."

Lucy: yeah. You've been kidnapped. Sorry. They're going to keep you here indefinitely until they get everything they need from you through the Animus.

Desmond: I could break my diet.... Lucy can you get me a cheeseburger. Can I please have a cheeseburger and fries and a milkshake.

Rebecca, after he gets rescued: yeah they put you on the FBI most wanted list. Sorry.

Desmond: NOOO... MY CAREER...

The perception of his descent into terrorism would be amazing. Literally no discernable reason it just looks like he snapped under pressure and bombed a pharmaceutical company. The fashion industry is gonna get soooooooo much shit about it. Desmond is reading the New York Times article about it on Rebecca's phone like "not actually what happened but if it gets them to stop making sixteen year olds cry we'll call it a win."