Whimsical Wanderings

Yes Gwen that is just your normal average citizen of Cardiff

Ahhh the infamous pizza delivery. ‘They’re good customers’ so secret so stealthy

GDL is such a baaabbbby (also Ianto’s so smug with his ‘don’t keep them waiting line’- what a shit)

Tosh my beloved, my favorite

It’s literally tiled on the wall Gwen (alright who the hell took the time to do that? I’m sure it’s original but like that’s arguably more extra than the suv)

‘Every once in a while’ in fanfic it’s daily (I love us and weevil hunts as foreplay)

Shut up Jack she has a point about the hole

Honestly Tosh deserves a pass on the taking home stuff. She just wanted to… archive shit? Make e books. Idk but it was innocent in comparison

Owen our problematic bisexual king

Jack resurrection was much faster than it ever is again (plot device I guess)

ROOOF

Take away: God I missed this show so much.

“Don’t get any ideas,” Astarion hissed at Gale as he strode quickly past him at their camp. 

Gale opened his mouth to argue, but he could feel the tension wafting off the vampire as if it were palpable. By the time Astarion got to his own tent, he was ripping at his neck and pulling at the leather around it as if it were hurting him. It probably was, in a way. 

They were still deep in the Underdark and everyone was growing restless at the constant dark and lack of fresh air. Gale, who had locked himself away in his tower with little thought for the outside world, was even growing tired of this part of their adventure. Astarion, to whom the experience of sunlight was a novel thing, had begun bristling against their environment almost immediately. Now the leather collar around his neck was chafing against other freedoms he’d just begun to enjoy.

And it hadn’t even been worth it. 

Gale really should have just been the one to do it. Instead he’d turned his nose up at the half-rotten leather they’d retrieved from around the the skeletal dog. So Astarion had snatched it and put it on with such a show - as if to prove that Gale was an idiot. And he was, he realized now, an idiot for allowing Astarion to do such a thing. 

“Here,” Gale mumbled as he found himself standing outside of Astarion’s tent.

There were red marks on the vampire’s skin, where the leather was irritating his throat. 

“It wouldn’t be so bad if I could just see,” Astarion snapped still yanking at the thing. 

Gale finally stepped inside and reached up to the damned thing. Astarion jumped at first, instinct telling him something that wasn’t true in this moment but had been in the past. Gale pretended not to notice and instead quickly undid the closure and pulled it away from him. Astarion inhaled unnecessarily hand going to his throat and rubbing at the already irritated skin. 

“I apologize,” Gale said quietly. 

Astarion’s laugh was just as fake as it was dismissive, “for what, darling? Taking too long to be useful again?”

Gale took the insult in stride. “For being a snob and not just putting the damn thing on when I realized it was enchanted,” he explained instead. 

Whatever the vampire had been expecting, it hadn’t been that, judging by the fact that he froze after Gale spoke. Astarion regarded him cautiously for a moment, hand frozen around his own neck, and then nodded as if coming to some kind of internal agreement. 

“Doesn’t matter who wore it,” Astarion said, though not as dismissively as before, “it would have been just as useless around your neck.”

Gale wanted to argue but realized Astarion’s pride wouldn’t tolerate any further damage. So instead Gale gently pulled Astarion’s hand away in his own and took a singular step forward, further into his personal. “May I?”

Astarion nodded even though the look on his face made it clear he didn’t actually know what he was agreeing to. Because of this Gale took his time leaning in until his face was pressed against Astarion’s neck, making sure he chose the side without fang marks. He nuzzled his nose against the almost warm patch of skin before pressing a kiss to it. Slowly he kissed along the irritated line until he reached the front of Astarion’s neck, and then he stood up again.

“I’m not sure I’ve met anyone who actually believe a kiss will make it better,” Astarion groused though the bite from his earlier tone was long gone. 

Gale couldn’t help the sheepish grin that spread across his face and he shrugged. “An apology.”

“Come now, I think you can do better than that.”

Gale knew Astarion was simply once again dismissing his overt kindness but he dropped to his knees all the same. 

“Oh,” Astarion seemed very surprised to find himself looking down at Gale. “I didn’t mean it you know,” he insisted. 

Gale tilted his head in concession. “Yes, but I would like to,” he said after realizing he really did want to. Then he paused and considered things for a moment. Gently, he grasped at Astarion’s thigh, just above his knees. “Do you want me to?”

Astarion stood frozen for just long enough that Gale had begun mentally berating himself for deeply miscalculating the solution to the situation before nodding. Gale couldn’t help but sigh in relief, allowing himself to sway forward a bit to rest his forehead against Astarion’s stomach. 

This thing between them was new enough, fragile enough, that he was afraid of trying to do the wrong thing. Astarion was the closest thing Gale had had to a “mortal” relationship in a very long time. If he displeased Mystra by bumbling through a situation, she merely disappeared for a time to punish him, but that was the extent of it. She didn’t have emotions the way he or, yes, even Astarion did, so his actions rarely provoked any responses other than disappointment or amusement. 

“Give it here,” Astarion said pulling Gale out of his thoughts, causing him to realize he still held the collar. 

“Shall I wear it?” Gale asked even as he handed it to him. 

Astarion regarded the collar for a moment before scoffing and tossing it into a corner behind Gale. “No I don’t want to look at it,” he said finally.

Gale realized it was the closest thing he was going to get to an admission of the kind of discomfort Astarion was feeling. Knowing if he pried or drew attention to it that he would only drive Astarion away Gale instead focused on undoing the laces of the vampire’s trousers. He could feel his eyes on the top of his head but focused instead on pulling them down just far enough for Astarion’s cock to fall free. 

It was soft. 

“Are you sure-” he began, only to be cut off by Astarion threading his fingers through Gale’s hair. 

“Yes,” Astarion answered, punctuating his words with a tug. 

Gale, once against deciding any form of argument was pointless, leaned forward and nuzzled his face against Astarion’s cock. Almost instantly he felt it twitch with interest. Taking that as a positive sigh, Gale darted his tongue out and licked a stripe along the shaft. By the time he reached up to take Astarion into his hand he could feel him begin to harden. Keeping his forehead pressed against the other man’s stomach, Gale slowly pumped Astarion’s cock. It didn’t take long for it to harden completely in his hand.

“I thought you were apologizing, not torturing me,” Astarion snarked eventually as Gale continued to only slowly pump his hand. 

Gale chuckled, perhaps deliberately tilting his head so the puffs of air ghosted across Astarion’s cockhead. His own cock was also interested in the goings on. Though for now Gale ignored it, just ask he ignored the aching in his knees. 

After a few more lazy strokes Gale finally relented and drew Astarion into his mouth. He didn’t play coy this time, instead he swallowed carefully until his nose was buried against Astarion’s skin. 

“Whore,” Astarion moaned, fingers tightening in his hair, somehow making it seem like a compliment rather than an insult. 

Gale laughed again, barely audibly. The vibrations caused Astarion to buck suddenly, forcing him to pull back or choke. When he swallowed Astarion again, he didn’t show off. This time he sucked and bobbed, finding a rhythm he liked and one which drew curses and the occasional moan from above him. His hand, the one still holding Astarion’s thigh, gently began kneading at the muscle under his hand. 

It wasn’t a secret that Gale enjoyed having some manner of power over a situation. Someone might incorrectly assume he wouldn’t enjoy sucking cock. People often mistook being on one’s knees as a show of weakness. He was as powerful as he could be in this moment without using actual magic, although that was fun in some siutations. Here on his knees Gale enjoyed the feeling of Astarion’s thigh tensing under his hand as he carefully allowed his teeth to scrape across the sensitive skin of his cock. He enjoyed each sound and gasp he could draw from his partner’s body. Enjoyed the taste of Astarion’s precum filling his mouth as he teased the tip of his cock with his tongue. Gale was more in charge here than people might realize.

And he liked that. 

The grip in his hair was just this side of painful, something else Gale liked. Occasionally he deliberately dipped his head just enough to feel the sharp sting tingle across his scalp. Astarion seemed to realize this and as he began thrusting in time to Gale’s ministrations, he flexed his fingers to tug each time Gale bobbed his head down. 

“Shit,” Astarion cursed, probably much louder than he intended to. 

Gale realized he then that he was close. Instead of pulling away he continued his efforts until finally, Astarion swore once more and tugged on Gale’s hair, as if in a half hearted effort to pull him off. Gale swallowed him down once more, finally glancing up at the other man. Astarion’s crimson eyes were watching him intensely. He didn’t look away. 

“In here, now, wizard,” Astarion growled as he grabbed Gale by the wrist and tugged him into an unoccupied room. 

Gale yelped as he was forced sideways into the room, tumbling awkwardly to a stop. The awkwardness made Astarion smile, a wicked thing but a smile nonetheless. It reminded him how less than six hours ago Gale had looked entirely different.

For reasons Astarion didn’t care to fully understand their current scheme had required the wizard to effect a disguise. Normally, Astarion would have been their go to for that but they needed Gale’s knowledge of the place - and, of course, for their wizard to not be recognized. And somehow that lead to the vision that was now awkwardly standing before him. 

As it turned out, Gale made for a very pretty woman. 

Gale’s hair was not much longer than it had been on his male body, the same color too, but this time it was knotted into a bun. Loose tendrils fell to frame his now softer and hairless face. 

“Astarion, I would really like to return to my previous state,” Gale whined annoyedly. This voice was also new and Astarion was far more interested in listening to its tone than its words. It was distinctly feminine despite still being low and husky. It was almost, almost, not irritating. 

Astarion realized with much interest that Gale’s lips had been painted. It was done with far too much skill to have been done by the wizard himself, so he imagined Shadowheart had taken pity and done his makeup. 

“Later,” Astarion said absentmindedly as he finally let go of the wizard’s wrist and took a step back- openly staring. 

Gale’s skin flushed. His cheeks, his neck, and most enticingly the small portion of his chest that was exposed for Astarion to see. Gale was, unfortunately, still wearing a wizard's robe keeping much of his body hidden. But what could not be concealed entirely were Gale’s very ample and lovely breasts. 

Astarion’s hands were already working on opening the slim leather belt that Gale wore today before he realized it. 

“Will you stop,” Gale snapped indignantly, he attempted to shove Astarion’s hands away.

Astarion grinned once more and, with a little flourish, tossed the now-opened belt behind him. Gale looked like he was about ready to argue again but Astarion quickly slid into his space, forcing the wizard back against the wall. Much to his amusement, this female version of Gale was several inches shorter than Astarion, and the top of Gale’s head barely reached the vampire’s lips. In order for the wizard to glare at him he was forced to look up in their now crowded position. 

Astarion watched as the change in their heights registered in Gale’s eyes. 

“Now,” Astarion drawled after allowing that realization to sit for a moment, “I would very much like to see what you look like under this robe.” His hand slowly worked at a fastening on the wizard’s robe.

Gale swallowed, eyes that hadn’t changed much searched Astarion’s face for a second before he nodded. “Alright,” he said rather breathlessly. 

Astarion barely let him finish the word before he’d managed to open the robe entirely. Gale was quiet but compliant and shrugged the robe off. In just trousers and a shirt Astarion realized two thing. The first being that these were absolutely not Gale’s clothes and were likely borrowed. The second being that they’d been unable to collect the correct garments and Astarion could just barely make out the dusky tips of Gale’s nipples through the cream-colored linen. 

Unable to help himself Astarion brushed the back of his knuckle against one of Gale’s nipples. Gale yelped in surprise and attempted to throw himself backward but only managed to flatten further against the wall. 

Astarion couldn’t help the predatory grin that spread across his face. 

Gale swallowed. 

It was short work to pull the shirt from Gale’s trousers. And even shorter to snake a hand beneath it, fingers deftly finding a nipple with a pinch. Once more, Gale yelped, only this time his back bowed pressing his breast into Astarion’s hand. 

“Does it feel different I wonder?” Astarion asked conversationally as he began softly kneading at the warm globe of flesh. The wizard never objected to having his nipples played with but this response was certainly new. 

“Yes,” Gale was forced to swallow several times before he managed even to say that singular word.

Astarion grinned again as he dropped his hand to the waistband of Gale’s trousers. “I wonder what else feels different,” he hummed, fingers already plucking laces open. 

Gale grabbed at Astarion’s wrist and the vampire froze, one of the laces still held between his fingers. 

“Astarion, I’m not sure this is the most prudent idea,” Gale insisted.

“You’ve given our friends what they needed, did you not?”

Gale nodded. 

“Then why not allow ourselves some fun?” Astarion asked. “The job is done, and besides,” he allowed a pout to color his words, “don’t you want to know what if feels like when I fuck your pretty pussy?”

The flush that covered Gale’s skin did, in fact, reach his breasts. His pupils were blown wide at the idea, but still Astarion refused to move again.

“Say the word, wizard,” he reminded. 

Gale’s mouth worked for a moment without words before, “yes, alright, yes,” spilled from his lips. 

Astarion immediately forewent finishing the opening of Gale’s trousers and instead leaned down and lifted the wizard up over his shoulder. He laughed at Gale’s indignant shriek and turned, making his way towards the bed in the room. He was fully capable of carrying Gale like this regularly but the move only seemed to punctuate the changes that magic had brought to the wizard’s body. 

With just as much ease Astarion tossed Gale onto the bed, earning him yet another indignant noise. Ignoring him, Astarion set to work pulling his boots off. Idly he recognized these as belonging to Shadowheart, but the thought was was tossed out just as he did the boots. 

“You don’t have to manhandle me,” Gale protested just as Astarion grabbed for the waistband of his trousers again and began pulling them down.

“Why not?” Astarion challenged, “you’re certainly enjoying it.”

Gale didn’t even bother refuting his statement; he merely looked away from Astarion as he pulled his legs to make stripping him even easier. 

“The shirt, wizard,” Astarion demanded as he tossed the trousers in roughly the same direction as the boots. 

As Gale awkwardly wiggled the shirt off of his body Astarion found himself distracted. Objectively he’d known, had smelt, that Gale’s transformation had been total but seeing was a whole other thing. Astarion had become… fond, of Gale’s cock in the last few weeks. It was gone. Instead, a very similar dark and curly thatch of hair beckoned him to press the wizard’s legs wide. 

And he did. 

Gale was nearly panting as he watched Astarion look his fill, newly uncovered breast rising and falling rapidly. 

Astarion allowed his hands to skate up the insides of Gale’s legs. Barely touching and causing the wizard to wiggle and spread them even wider. He was wet, moisture greeting Astarion’s fingers before they were anywhere near the core of his body. When he swiped a finger just barely between the folds of this new cunt Gale let out a noise - something between a yelp and a moan. 

Without the intention of being seductive, purely for his own curiosity, Astarion lifted his fingers to his mouth and lapped. This time the noise ripped out of Gale was absolutely a moan which brought back Astarion to his previous mission. Another press of his fingers between Gale’s legs, another moan from the wizard, and Astarion held out his glistening fingers towards him. 

“Do you want to taste yourself,” he asked, his own voice husky.

There was a momentary flash of embarrassment on Gale’s face, but it was gone as quickly as Astarion had recognized it. It was replaced almost immediately by interest. 

“Yes,” Gale agreed with a sharp nod of his head. The unceremonious way Astarion had deposited him on the bed along with the less than tactful removal of his shirt had caused the knot of hair to come loose. 

Astarion kneeled onto the bed, bringing his fingers closer to Gale. The wizard leaned up and tentatively darted his tongue out to probe at the vampire’s fingers. He seemed to roll the taste around his tongue for just a moment before sucking Astarion’s fingers into his mouth. With skill that had previously caused Astarion to wonder exactly what that wizard had been doing with his mouth in the past, Gale cleaned the taste of himself from Astarion’s skin. 

Astarion felt his cock throb against his trousers, reminding him of the blatant neglect he was suffering. He badly wanted to fuck Gale but knew being unkind now would certainly not earn him any repeats of this particular bit of magic. So instead he squeezed himself with his free hand, drawing Gale’s eye and causing him to stop lapping at Astarion’s fingers. 

“Don’t worry, wizard, I promise to cum inside of you,” Astarion said, tapping his newly released fingers against Gale’s lips.  He allowed himself a few more lazy strokes through his clothing.

The muscles of Gale’s stomach tightened for a moment, clearly affected by his words.  Astarion laughed and trailed his fingers down over Gale’s chin, over the rapid pulse beating against his neck, and down once more to his breasts. He pinched at one nipple and then the other, causing Gale to whimper and throw his head back against the bed. As tempted as he was to continue playing Astarion force himself to move on, fingers gliding across the plane of the wizard’s stomach. 

Astarion did not hesitate as he pressed a finger inside of Gale. He was so wet that the single digit slid in easily, with the first experimental pump Gale’s eyes slid closed. With the second he whimpered, thighs falling open even wider. 

Astarion’s attention was split between the wizard’s face as he tried to process these new sensations and the sight of Astarion’s slickened finger pressing in and out of him. He was careful not to touch Gale anywhere else, certainly not the tiny bundle of nerves he caught glimpses off as he moved his finger - no matter how tempting. Once Gale’s muscles were all drawn taut and he was whimpering with each breath Astarion carefully pressed a second finger inside of the wizard. 

“Oh gods, Astarion,” Gale cried as he threw an arm over his face. 

“You’re so fucking wet,” Astarion praised, reveling how the muscles of Gale’s cunt tightened around his fingers at his words. 

“I can’t wait to feel you around my cock,” he continued, the thrust of his fingers speeding up.

Gale was writhing uncontrollably as Astarion continued to fuck him with his finger. His hips were rolling with each withdrawal, chasing after the full sensation he was experiencing for the first time. He was also making noise so freely that if their friends hadn’t cleared the area when Astarion had stolen the wizard away into the room they certainly knew what was happening now.

“Astar-” Gale began, words aborted with another thrust of the vampire’s fingers. “Please,” he whimpered finally. 

“Please what?” Astarion asked as he abruptly slowed. Now he drug his fingers out of Gale, scissoring them as wide as he could as he went. 

The muscles in Gale’s thighs flexed violently as he seemed to barely restrain himself from fucking down onto Astarion’s hand. 

“I don’t,” his voice was raspy with use and lust, “I don’t know.”

Astarion, in an uncharacteristically gentle moment, soothed his unbusy hand firmly over the wizard’s thigh. “I know what you want,” he cooed almost kindly. 

With that Astarion allowed his thumb to slide between the folds of Gale’s cunt and press against his clit. A few soft circles in combination with the now softer thrusts was all it took. Gale’s arm flew off his face finally to grip the bed below him, back bowing up almost unnaturally as he came. He was nearly silent, mouth opened wide in a silent yell, as his muscles contracted wildly around Astarion. 

As Gale’s body relaxed and he remembered how to breathe again, Astarion carefully pulled his now soaked hand away. He kept his other hand on the wizard’s thigh, softly keeping pressure. 

“Fuck,” was all Gale managed after yet another minute.

Astarion laughed. “Oh wizard, we’re not done,” he promised. 

Gale looked at him questioningly. 

Gender Swapped

Collaring

Breeding Kink

Voyeurism/Exhibitionism

Sacrilege

Somnophilia

Temperature Play

Stuck in a hole/wall/magic portal

Spanking

Inappropriate use of mage hand

Praise Kink

Size Difference

Mind Control

Bathing

Overstimulation

Formal Wear

Bloodplay

Body worship

Double Penetration

Sex Polled/Potion/Curse

Free Use

Hate Sex

Body Swapping

Dacryphilia

Sex Toys

Breathplay

Wax Play

Treesome/Moresome

Telepathic Bond

Frottage

Free Day

(14/30 there’s going to be a free day on 31)

-inappropriate use of mage hand

-bloodplay (aimed at vampirism but open to any interpretation)

-sex pollen

-gender swapped

-sacrilege (fuck on that Mystra/shar/lolth statue you freaks)

-voyeurism/exhibitionism

-body swapping

-body worship

-breathplay

-mind control

-overstimulating

-stuck in hole/wall/magical portal (oh no step wizard)

- collaring