I laid with my head on his chest feeling it rise and fall with his breath. After the emotional turmoil of the day I felt a strange peace come over me. Wrapped in the warmth of a body that had come to feel like home, I was nearing sleep when I heard the soft sounds coming from his mouth. I gently tilted my head toward him expecting to see him laughing. He stared straight up at The fan as it strobed yellow light across his face. The beams highlight the tears that had been rolling down his cheeks. I just watched him for a minute. In the six years we’d known each other it was the third time I’d seen him cry. The other two had been single tears wiped away as quickly as they fell. But when the tears kept coming the moment grew so intimate watching felt borderline voyeuristic.
“Why are you crying?” It was a stupid question. I already knew. But part of me wanted to break the silence and part of me just wanted to hear it. He paused for a long time and for a second I thought he might not responded.
Trying to blink back the tears he half whispered
“This is it.” He gulped hard before continuing “I could feel you breathing, you were so calm. And then It hit me this is the last time I’ll hold you like this. I love you.” He reached up patting the tears with the back of his hand.
“I love you too.” The words barely made it from my mouth before I was bawling for what felt like the millionth time that day.
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