girls don’t like boys, girls like plants and magic spells

sometimes u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order

what do other people have against subtitles? like bitch,.. my ears are Not Friends with my brain, let me have my captions

My life is just a constant journey to seek warmth. No metaphor. I mean like coats and jackets. Getting under the sheets and standing under heat lamps. Soup.

i’m allowed to use the term crazy in a derogatory fashion because I’ve had a breakdown in a Wal-Mart

it’s officially impossible for me to fall in love bc last night at a party drunk-me remembered that sober-me had thrown 3 funsize kitkats into my bag with the explicit thought “drunk-me is going to be so excited when she finds these” and i don’t think any other person is gonna be able to love me like that

but what did drunk you ever do for sober you

one time i blacked out and woke up to find 13 full sized rolls of ritz crackers in my bag bc drunk me is also an ideal provider

that’s a mood ™