♥ TeeMaa ♥ ヽ(•‿•)ノ

I hate myself for needing you after all this time. I hate myself for not being as strong as I make it seem I am. I’m a fool and a pathetic liar.

Will I ever get over this? I just want my life back... 😞

Forever and always.

Living without you is hell. I miss you. 😞

It’s weird how close you can be to people but they have no idea what goes on inside your head. They think you’re strong, you’re happy, you’re doing better.. but in reality you’re just pretending to hold it together really well, in reality you’re going through so much pain, you just wish you can somehow die and end it all. No one can save you & I guess no one is supposed to. My chest feels heavy tonight & I can’t silence my thoughts. I wish someone can save me from me..

I miss you. Life hasn’t been the same without you. I’ve been keeping myself busy, distracted. Although I do have a lot of good going on around me right now, I can’t seem to find joy. It’s like having a table full of food but no taste buds. I do a lot of pretending nowadays- I pretend to not miss you, not think about you every second of everyday, I pretend that I’m over you. People believe me now, except for this one chick at work— Christine— she sees right through me for soms reason. I wish I can talk to you & be with you, but I’ll just be carrying you with me in my heart and memory instead. I hope you’re okay. I hope you’re happy. I love you forever and always.

05.16.2018

My heart is aching. My thoughts are filled with you. My life feels incomplete. I can’t show this to anyone. I have to pretend like all is good. I cannot sleep most nights because I just can’t stop thinking about you, wondering what you are up to, wondering if you miss me too sometimes. This still hurts the same.. 

I freaking hate life.

Great, now I'm sexually frustrated but only want that one person I can't have. 😩🤦🏻‍♀️😭