Record no.1

▆▆ going to be a decent person today, ▆▆ leaving as usual. Do that, don't do that; it's pretty annoying, what's so scary? Pain is not scary. ▆▆ not afraid of anything that doesn't involve talking to others — otherwise, ▆▆ freezing in place and feeling like ▆▆ already gone. In the end, ▆ can't find enough strength to make a difference. The attempts ▆▆ gathered so far went in vain; ▆ would like to finish it for all, so that ▆ don't hate anymore, anyone. It's fine, ▆ will wake up soon.

Record no.2

It's fine. It's fine. We're similar yet different, how to put it. I'm more reserved. I don't cry to get all the attention on myself, but it's something I won't tell. I'm going to be a decent person today. I don't have a lot of friends, I don't get approached too often. I will never understand what this side is talking about, and I don't get what the other says despite being supposed to; I drop out from this puzzle box, I don't have much to say. I never had a lot of friends. In fact, I can count— ▆. I guess it's the closest to friendship I've experienced; though I don't know how they viewed that, and it certainly didn't resemble the friendship seen in stories on the screen. — What do you want? Not sure, I guess she was pouting. Of course, what else would she be doing. — I don't like that girl. Don't talk to her. — She's the one talking to me. Can't help it. — Do you not care about me? As if it's me who doesn't care! You constantly complain about each other to me. — I'm taking a nap. — It's dangerous to sleep in the train. I might be in a bad mood and not wake you up in time. I'm in a bad mood today, by the way. — Don't care. — Good luck at Kisaragi station. — Thank you very much. Black-and-white with a noise texture on top, I'm watching us from the side — I guess it's the way memories look, huh? We are rocked in the silence, holding a grudge at each other. I wonder how big this train is, so empty it seems to lack even enough seats. Of course it's a dream, I got so used to them I'm pretty aware of my dreams. A screeching sound and I grip her hand by instinct, maybe getting scared or trying to save her or both; black out, I think the train crashed.

Record no.3

▆ don't want to wake up, but ▆ don't want to keep stuck in nightmares... How complicated again! ▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆ despite being awake, and have a horrible headache when ▆ die in ▆ sleep; it lasts for minutes and eternities, until the plot reveals that ▆ haven't died in the first place. Ah. “Please don't speak so loudly”. I'm only yelled at more. I'm going to be a decent person today, though it's hard when no one else is trying to be. It's easier to give up and drop dead; next time, next time I'll attempt to do better. A hidden corner of the classroom, I was always the quiet one. Don't talk back, what did I do? I hate being scolded, everyone but me can get away with not keeping up to standards; I promise, I'll kill either myself or someone else when I get fed up with it. Although not today. The university’s ceiling falls on ▆, headache ringing in ▆ ears.

Record no.1

Summer is ending. Let's stop already, how long are we going to chew on this cold food? Spring is ending. We part and come back together, this must be a form of true love for you; though as for me, I'm not so sure. Winter is ending. Closeness never matters; they switch their opinions in an instant, and always, always, always, always choose someone else instead. Autumn is ending. This was a game of play-pretending for everyone but me; right, I wanted a place I and others could belong to, but as I've seen through lies, I'm burning down the theater. Summer is ending. You simply disappeared without a word; I didn't care, did I care? Too many people, I get lost. So tiring. I need to break the cycle. Hey, do you want to reunite with your truly loved one?

Record no.2

Year by year, I look back and feel all the same, let me out of this, let me out of this loop!  I wonder what kind of person I used to be before. Is it your fault? Changing me so much.  Cherry blossom petals, a wave of crystal water covering my ankles, tender girly laughs from all sides. Ah, my first ever wish made on New Year night was to meet a true friend. I imagined my own friends, and this is how I became a writer, slowly but surely. I met real friends to grow up with, slowly but surely, but all of them were condescending, and I got trapped in a small box of expectations.  Warm snowflakes falling from the night sky, the stars are never seen in the city; I watch myself looking up from the sidelines, holding onto the lantern as last hope. I want to embrace what I love. Though it's scary, it's nauseating— I can't handle rejection. That's it! From this moment, I'm going to be the one bringing everyone together — so that they can't reject me, I’ll become indispensable. Running through a chilly meadow, sun rising and I hold your hand, catching lavender clouds as I stay at home. Yes, this is kind of the way my life was being shaped.  A lot of time passed. Just forget it. Curtains close, stars grow cold.

Record no.3

I wrote a piece full of hope and love, sleepless in my empty dim room; so lonely, I'm writing to the void. Our relationships are a joke, but I'm creating art for you, actually, a series — the palette of all the things I feel; then I discard it, lost inspiration. It hurts, you laugh at my poetry, it hurts even more; you say we're not friends, once again, and I make a story about an abandoned sea. Please don't ever leave. Why is this promise so hard to make? If you don't want to leave, then why? I'm a bit reluctant in showing my true feelings, do you hate it? Please read; the contents of my heart.  I want you to know, please, I want you to know, but you only laugh or look away. No one hears when I simply talk, no one comes to rescue when I cry; I hug my own shoulders, I draw stars on my hands, I put red and purple markers on my knuckles. I wrote a story for you, a story where I save you with my love.  We part ways before I can show.