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I told her I'm not ready for nothing more and she still tried to do it and after? she apologized and I had to reassure her that I wanted it as much as she did so she wouldn't feel bad cause I love her

at the end it's all my fault cause the first time I did told her I'm not ready for nothing more but I wasn't even ready for this, but the second time? at first I really wanted it but later I.. I don't even know what it was but I felt disgusted with myself, with my body, I wanted die, and when it ended? she apologized again.. and I felt even more like shit that she feels this way because of me, she feels guilty because of me, it's my fault I let it happened and it's my fault I can't convince her that I wanted it.. and at that moment I started to feel guilty for everything, for every even slice bad thing that had an influence on someone else.. I remember everything.. my parents, my brother, my friends, my family, my girlfriend.. and honestly I just..

but I could have said no.. I just.. didn't know how without making her feel guilty

byłam dzisiaj u tego lekarza..

na tych najmniejszych bliznach miałam opaske i babka nic o tym nie mówiła na szczęście ale inne zauważyla i sie pytala kiedy to robiłam itp i mój ojciec mi sie patrzył na reke w trakcie badania... dał mi potem gadkę że ich to rani i że myślał że mam to za sobą już (nie bro nie mam kurwa) boje sie ze terapeutki się o to pytać będzie bo im powoedzialam że ona wie żeby mi spokoj dali a tak naprawde nie wie i sie boje ze na wizycie będę musiała gadac z nią o tym