all I am is all that I've been through

— About Me —

Likes: any music i can dance/daydream to, anime/manga, languages, baking, taking walks in the park, the color purple, writing, drawing, video-editing (still learning)

— Tags —

— me talking: random posts

— vent: vents/triggering things (block this if you are triggered by EDs, sh, sui thoughts, alcohol, smoking)

— daily food log: what I eat in a day (with pics when i can take them) plus a daily log

— cooking: things I bake

— music: music I like

— landscapes: photos of anything (flowers, landscapes, cities)

— motivation: self-explanatory

— answers: answers to asks

Currently listening in loop to:

Life has been overall pretty good! Of course, with its ups and downs, but I can't say im dissatisfied or disappointed (also because I dont have enough memory to say if it has been primarly good or bad, and right now im in a good mood lol) therapy has been though but interesting for sure and it's helping, i can finally see some difference and improvement in me, something that i was never able to notice or recognize before. I gotta admit, i'm starting to kinda struggle with alcohol again, but for now i'm managing, and i'm not avoiding talking about it in the session, so again, small steps!

I'm about four months and a half clean from self harm with little to no thoughts about relapsing in it! Proud of myself :D Sure, im avoiding resetting the stike for the alcohol bit, but that's just for my mental safety lol. I don't like streaks that much, mostly because my reaction if a fall is to go all out cause "It's ruined already anyway". That's why i havent been checking my counters or anything, cause i get overwhelmed by the expectation not to relapse again rip.

It's going pretty great on the eating side too! Im less months free from purging, but it still hasn't happened in a while :-) I'm procrastinating seeing my nutritionist cause by now diets and eating tips feel constricting more than anything, but i should really see her, if only to tell her this and put an end to this. Even if you never know if you'll need that kind of help again, so im pretty indecisive about it... i'll see lol

I haven't been able to see any of your updates because i've just not opened this account in months, so i wanted to ask how you all have been! I've might not have missed the account in itself, but i have missed you all and the friends ive made, the feeling of community and support... so! Feel free to interact to chit-chat! I'll be more than happy to exchange some words ^-^ I've also seen i've been getting new followers, so hi to everyone new too! My offer is open to anyone!

I don't know how often i will keep updating this account, you will probably see sparse vent posts because this is, after all, the account where i tend to ven and vaguepost. But rest assured i'll try to lurk more often! I also have a bunch of tag games i am very late to do (i love them. so so much. thank you all for tagging me in them still <3) but that i will try to do (dont expect too much from me though, if i cant do them, just know its not because i hate someone or anything like that, it's just me,,, rip)