THE "FUCK IT I'M NOT COOKING" MASTER SHOPPING LIST
(I found this list on reddit by user phoeenixx, the original post/account has been deleted but I found the post through an archive. Post has been edited for accessability)
Cost of everything: £47.09 /$65.30
Cost of fresh food buy every week: £27.70/$38.40 (Price will change depending on how much you eat, and how good at hunting bargains you are).
PANTRY/STAPLES: - an 8 pack of tortillas/wraps - margarine - mayonnaise - condiments you like (sriracha, chutney, whatever) - salt and pepper - a breakfast cereal you like (this doesn’t have to be healthy, everything else here is, so it’ll balance out) OR a loaf of bread if you’re a toast person - balsamic vinegar - olive oil - honey in a squeeze bottle - dried mint leaves (from the spices section)
MEATS AND DAIRY - 10 small cans of tuna/salmon in whatever flavours sound good - a cooked chicken from the deli - some ham/salami/turkey/whatever sandwich meats you like - a litre of long life milk (it’s so easy to waste milk, so just buy long life and open it when you’re actually gonna use it) - a 300g-500g tub of natural/vanilla yogurt - a small block of feta cheese - some sliced tasty cheese
FRUIT & VEG
Salad mix (depression’s best friend) OR
Spinach
Iceberg lettuce
Carrot (Quick recipe: grate the carrot and mix it with the leaves)
A couple of lemons (the juice keeps stuff fresh)
frozen mixed berries
Fresh green beans
THE “FUCKING WHATEVER” LUNCH/DINNER WRAP / Tortilla Salad (approx 3 minutes)
So, this baby is super versatile, it can be lunch or dinner, and you can have it as many times in the week as you have tortillas in the pantry.
A tortilla
some mayonnaise
a metric fuckton of salad mix
your additional condiment of choice. Don’t be shy. Heap it on. It’s a condiment, it’s not gonna break the bank. Just make that salad not taste like salad.
A generous amount of whatever lunch meat you’ve got. Again. We’re drowning out the taste of salad here.
some slices of tasty cheese.
wrap that fucker and eat it.
THE “TURNS OUT THESE CANNED TUNA FLAVOURS ARE ALRIGHT” SALAD THING / Fish salad (approx 2 minutes)
I’m not a big fish person myself but I can do canned tuna and salmon. This can also go in a wrap if you want something more substantial.
a cereal bowl’s worth of salad mix
a can or two of tuna/salmon
mix it up (the flavour from the can becomes dressing for the leaves and boom! You can’t taste them anymore)
add some salt, pepper and mayo if you want
that’s it. That’s the whole meal.
THE CHICKEN, FETA AND “I DIDNT KNOW YOU COULD EAT GREEN BEANS RAW AND ITS SO MUCH BETTER THAN SOGGY STEAMED BULLSHIT” BEAN SALAD / Chicken, feta, bean salad (approx 5-10 minutes)
chop up some chicken from the cooked deli chicken you bought (like, a breast’s worth?)
also chop up some feta cheese (if you’re like me, you’ll have a finger’s worth of cheese, but just go to taste)
chop the ends off a handful of beans and chop them in half
throw all this bullshit in a bowl
sprinkle some mint leaves, salt and pepper
drizzle this baby in two teaspoons of balsamic vinegar and one of olive oil
there you go. That’s a whole, healthy meal. Two meals if you eat like a bird like I do.
THE “MAN I WANT ICE CREAM RIGHT NOW BUT LUCKILY I THOUGHT AHEAD AND BOUGHT YOGHURT” DESSERT WITH “WOW I DIDN’T REALISE BERRIES AREN’T SHIT TO EAT” FROZEN BERRIES / Yogurt with frozen berries
spoon yourself a bowl of yogurt
dump a bunch of frozen berries straight on top
sweeten with honey
there’s dessert.
THE “MAN I WANT ICE CREAM THAT’S NOT BERRIES AND HONEY FLAVOUR” / Misc Yogurt notes
dude just get a bowl of yogurt
and fuckin put whatever you want in there
like, you can mix some cocoa through and bam. Chocolate flavour. A spoon of instant coffee and the tiniest splash of water in a glass? Mix that into your yoghurt. Bam. Coffee flavour. Yogurt is your friend. Eat yogurt. It’s waaaay better for you than ice cream. And it’s cheaper too.
so there you go, severely depressed folks. you don’t even have to cook to eat cheap and healthy. i didn’t make a breakfast recipe, just have cereal, or make one of these other meals for breakfast. but most importantly, try to eat every meal, and sneak as much fruit and veg into your meals as you can tolerate. your body and mind will thank you. i hope this has been helpful.
and while i’m here, don’t be afraid to get help. i thought i was fine and able to tough it out until i nearly died, and realised i didn’t care if i did. in the moment, i was bitter that i didn’t die. so instead of letting myself stay suicidal i went and got help and i’m okay now. still not perfect. but hey, just “okay” is better than dead, no matter how tempting death can be. it’s easier to get back to “okay” than it seems. much love.
