LET ME BE

Just spent the last hour going back through old posts. I don’t think I’ve given tumblr and mutuals enough credit for holding me together during my college years. Like seriously, maybe I’m just being dramatic but the internet really saved me from many moments of sadness and confusion.

I’ve never fully come into myself until after college until after I went away and worked at Disney the second time and met some of my lifelong friends. As I celebrate 10 years of that experience this month, I can’t help but look back. You know how college was supposed to be the years you learned about yourself and have all those experiences? Instead I was up on tumblr making gifs and living life in seclusion. I mean granted, I still kind of live life in seclusion but back then it was because I was still scared of who I was. This outlet gave me the opportunity to share bits and pieces of me with the world. My love for Britney, Beyonce, Disney, my love for graphic design and creating.

Just going through the list of people I followed and old messages we exchanged. I literally had no one in college but the people on here. The names and faces are so familiar and it just takes me back to a moment in time. I wonder where most of you are today and hope you’re doing well. I’m glad that some of you have been able to transition through to Instagram or Twitter with me over the last few years.

As I go back to old posts, I cringe with happiness. It’s awesome to have this capsule of memories although slightly embarrassing.

Shout out to Julian - thesejulez. I instantly connect you with my tumblr days. Like you may not know this, but you’ve had a great impact on my time on tumblr. Lol I don’t know if you still come on here but it was always fun seeing your posts and chatting. I’ve always found myself agreeing with your commentary on the pop girlies and just life in general. Idk if people understand the impact they have on others. Especially at a time when I didn’t feel like I was connecting with anyone at school (funny enough we went to the same school), you made things bearable for me. I didn’t feel so alone. Is that weird? Anyway, I know you’re doing amazing things now and I’m so happy for all you’ve accomplished.

Today, I feel more at peace with myself but there are still some days where I relate to the guy in his 20s writing about feeling anxious and lost. It’s also hard to not compare yourself to others. In a world where everyone posts their highlights, you can’t help but think, I haven’t done this or haven’t achieved that. We’re working on it…

Just felt like the page could use an update. Maybe in another few years, I’ll post again.

Xoxo

Just spent the last hour going back through old posts. I don’t think I’ve given tumblr and mutuals enough credit for holding me together during my college years. Like seriously, maybe I’m emotional and it’s almost 1am but like woah.

I’ve never fully come into myself until after college until after I went away and worked at Disney the second time and met the friends there that are my rocks now. You know how college was supposed to be the years you learned about yourself and have all those experiences? Like girl I was up on tumblr making gifs and like living life in seclusion. I mean granted I still kind of live life in seclusion but maybe I was still scared of who I was and this outlet gave me the opportunity to share bits and pieces of me with the world. My love for Britney, Beyonce, Disney, my love for graphic design.

Just going through the list of people I followed and old messages we exchanged. Like I literally had no one in college but the people on here. Some of you I’m like wondering where you are but for the most part I’m glad most have been able to transition through to Instagram or Twitter with me.

Seriously going back to old posts, I cringe but also happy that I have this slightly embarassing time capsule of memories.

And @thesejulez lol I wana shout you out. When I think about tumblr, your name comes to mind almost instantly. Like you may not know this, but your tumblr “friendship” meant the most to me during this period of I guess seclusion. Lol I don’t know if you still come on here and like I know I still catch you on the other platforms but seriously you don’t know man. From the light Britney and Beyonce discussions and fangirling over slayage (more so Beyonce and the Super Bowl) to even serious talks in direct messages about feelings of anxiety, like Idk if people understand the impact they have on others. Especially at a time when I didn’t feel like I was getting that building of friendships experience from college. But just thank you! I don’t think I’ve ever thanked you. lol oh yeah youre still slaying with content and giving the gworls the memes, commentary, and dance videos on insta.

I don’t think I intended to be up until 1:30 today or even make a post and write something. But it just felt like the page could use an update. Maybe in another 2 years again. Unless I need the tumblr app to make a gif from my phone.

Xoxo