But you just don’t know how afraid i am that you’ll judge me. You always talk about how mad you’d be, or disappointed, or the things you’d do or what others will say. And I’m just scared, okay? You have no idea how my thoughts are killing me or what they’re doing to me. I am so fucking emotionally unstable.

Just once, all i want is somebody who will accept me for me and won’t try to change me. That’s all I want.

That’s it. You deserve the best. You put up with all my bullshit for how long? How many years? Maybe it’s time that you stop putting up with it… But I really hope you get what you deserve. You truly deserve the best. I don’t regret anything except for taking you for granted and messing things up….

Have you ever had that feeling, where you think somebody’s there even when you guys don’t talk, and then you suddenly realize that your guys’ relationship just might not be how it used to be, and you start to feel sick to your stomach because it hurts so bad and you actually start to throw up, and...

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So many people think about self harm as cutting or burning themselves, but what about the emotional self harm we inflict on our hearts and minds? Our souls? Doesn’t that count too?

I’m afraid that if I want to live, if I truly make that decision to not die, something will go wrong and I will fail. & I won’t know what to do afterwards, because death wouldn’t be an option anymore. I’m afraid of making a permanent decision that I’ll have to be able to face and deal with, because life scares me.

And I’m afraid I don’t want to find it.