* 𝐓𝐎𝐎 / 𝙏𝙄𝙈𝙀

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apollo runs a hand through his hair and squeezes his eyes shut as the other pauses the music for what feels like the fiftieth time in the past ten minutes. it takes everything in him not to storm out -- it's not how he was raised. he was a poised and trained ballet dancer, and outbursts like that were unacceptable. he places his hands on his hips as he chooses his words as carefully as he can. "perhaps we should quit while we're ahead. or, behind, i guess. i can't stand to hear the same ten second clip any more today."

it didn’t take long for bodie to take her pain as an opportunity to be unkind to himself. usually, when he spoke like that, estelle would comfort him and try to talk him out of feeling this way. however, it wasn’t going to be her burden this time. she didn’t have the energy. “what am i going to do alone? that’s even more dangerous. half the reason i mustered up the courage to actually go was because i KNEW i was going to be with you!” at least here she had her grandfather. “people who LOVE me? i have a quiet home that is just me and my grandpa and two people who wouldn’t even notice if i stopped showing up for dinners. it’s not the fabulous life you think it is.” she did have rosie, though. rosie, who almost took the role of grandma after her own grandma passed. “i bet you are,” she said quietly as she began walking away from him and the diner.

“JUST TELL ME!” estelle ran her hands through her hair as she tried to take in the information. how did they get here? they were just having the best week of their lives. how did they fall so fast? “you let me go on and on about how excited i was and you just-- you KNEW. you just let me look like an idiot!” she shook her head as he tried to rationalize it and make her feel better. “what WE wanted was to leave our hometowns and start fresh. why are you the only one who gets to do that? what about ME?” he knew how much she hated this town after her grandma passed, and it only got worse once esther and donnie began to shut her out. “don’t i want the life i’ve already been living the past twenty-three years? yeah, i love it so much. that’s exactly why i wanted to leave, because my life was too good.” the sarcasm was dripping from her voice but she just couldn’t help it. “of course you want to make it work, you get everything you want. as usual, i’m getting the short end of the stick.” it just seemed like all her friendships were crumbling around her. 

estelle didn’t know what to believe. she didn’t know what to think right now. “i wish you would’ve told me before i put all my things in boxes.” her and her grandpa had worked tirelessly to pack all her things and they were almost finished. they really only had two more boxes worth left to pack-- and now it all had to be unpacked. god, UNPACKING. having to go home with her tail between her legs and tell her grandpa she wasn’t leaving. it was going to be nice, being able to still stay with him. but that was pretty much the only thing she was going to miss. if anything, she thought bodie would understand how much she needed to leave this town. but from his final comment, it seemed like he assumed she would still be going alone. “it’s funny, isn’t it?” she asked as she shook her head and turned back around to face him. “since the very first day we talked, all i ever wanted was for you to be close by,” she said to his back. “all this time, i imagined all the things we’d do together, the adventures we’d have. but now that you’re actually here...” estelle paused again. “i wish you were a thousand miles away.”

nothing could have ever prepared estelle for the bomb bodie just dropped on her. she was familiar with western new england university-- her grandparents suggested she apply there once she graduated high school. “but that’s...” she paused take a breath. “what?” estelle so badly wanted bodie to be joking. she NEEDED him to be joking. but she knew bodie incredibly well and this was no joke. there were a million thoughts running through her head, but she couldn’t seem to vocalize any of them at the moment. she pulled her hand from his and took a step back. she brought a hand up to rub her forehead before turning around and facing away from him. her eyes landed on the building in front of her. ROSIE’S. oh, how excited she had been to introduce bodie to rosie. she had told rosie so many stories about bodie. “did i do something wrong?” none of this was making sense. everything was on track for them to move. what happened? "why now?” if he had already accepted an offer, he’d been sitting on it. why did he wait so long to tell her? they were just weeks away from making the big move and now he decided to tell her?

estelle was beginning to grow worried as the silence between them only grew. it didn’t help that he avoided eye contact with her for as long as possible. the only thing connecting them was their hands. her eyes scanned his face as if the furrowing of his brows or the vein in his forehead would tell her everything going on inside of his head. her eyebrows lifted slightly as he began with her name, but they soon furrowed as he trailed off again. as soon as he said i know you’re going to be mad, her fears began skyrocketing. every worst-case-scenario was running through her head. “hey, hey,” she began before placing her hand on his cheek. “we’ve been friends for years and how many times have i been mad at you?” she was trying her best to calm herself down-- what was the worst he could say? she was just hoping he was overreacting about whatever was on his mind. “of course i remember. you and i stayed up so late that night looking at possible options that would work best for you. we looked at acceptance rates and decided which schools you were too good for.” it was a fun night for the two of them. estelle vividly remembers making fun of the people who would potentially be his peers and talked about how they would never realize how lucky they were to be in his presence. “i don’t understand why i would be so mad about it. did you not find something? is that what you’re scared to tell me?”

although she wasn’t expecting him to insult her tour guiding skills ( to her face at least ) she was a bit relieved that he said he was enjoying himself. unfortunately, that meant she still had no clue what was on his mind and she didn’t like that feeling. her smile fell as the first question left his lips. it was something she’d thought about a lot as the time for them to leave grew closer and closer. “i mean... yeah, of course.” she loved her grandpa more than anything and was absolutely terrified to be living on her own-- but bodie was the one who was getting her through all that. sure, she wouldn’t be with the best guy in her life anymore but she’d be with the next best thing. as much as she wished esther could go with them, she wasn’t sure she would even want to. estelle had yet to even tell her best friend that she was planning on leaving. it wasn’t fair to esther and she knew that, but she was still hurt that it seemed like donnie had taken her place. she was convinced that esther wouldn’t even notice. “you’re going to miss new york, aren’t you? i know it wasn’t amazing, but it’s your home?” she was wondering if his questions were coming from his own feelings. perhaps he was too scared to leave new york. “missing home is a given. i just... i feel like i’m ready for new things.” estelle wasn’t sure how, but she wanted to impact the world at least a little, and staying in springfield didn’t seem like a good way to do that. “besides, it’s not like it’s crazy far. we’re still on the same coast and everything.” she took his free hand with hers so that she could get him to really focus on her. the blue lights perfectly danced across his face and left a small smile on hers. “i know it’s scary, but this is what we’ve been waiting for. we’ll be so close but it’ll be brand new. a fresh start for the both of us.”

if one were to ask estelle how she felt about finally having bodie by her side, her only answer would be over the moon. the two had gone through some really tough moments together and it was so much more difficult to do through skype or facetime than it was to do it together in person. since they had planned bodie’s trip in advance, estelle had plenty of time to put together the perfect weekend for the two of them. while springfield wasn’t the greatest ( she did want to leave for a reason ), it did have some pretty nice qualities. her little tour for bodie around town was also meant to be like her last hurrah before finally leaving, but he was making it difficult to enjoy. it was clear his mind was elsewhere and he wasn’t really taking it all in. it wasn’t a total bummer-- it wasn’t like he was meant to fall in love with the place. “mister roketi,” she began as she reached for his hand. “i think you’ve forgotten who you’re with. i’ve learned to decipher your mood simply based on your text patterns and the punctuation you use. you think it wouldn’t be a breeze for me in person?” she was partly teasing, but she was also serious. the two would often joke they knew each other better than they knew themselves, and estelle really believed it sometimes. “look, if the weekend has been totally boring you can just tell me. i tried my best to make it fun, but in my defense the town didn’t give me much to work with.” however, she did save the best for last. rosie’s diner. it was actually where they were headed at the very moment she decided to ask how he was doing. estelle squeezed his hand gently and offered him a reassuring smile. “you can tell me anything. you know that, don’t you? it’s kind of been our mantra for the past few years.”