What is my life anymore?

I’m glad all you SHEEPLE are finally seeing the light about alleged “human being” Harry Styles. If you examine “Harry”’s birth certificate, you will find that “he” is, in fact, SIX PEOPLE. MANAGEMENT has been foisting them on us for years. Open your eyes. Learn with your brain. The six “HARRYS” are very easy to distinguish once you know what to look for.

HAROLD

The original “Harry Styles.” A harmless idiot. Died in 2012 from eating too many guavas. 

JEBWARD

A glamorous pajama magnate who owns AT LEAST three monogrammed juice carafes. Dictates his Tweets to an assistant. Wears his pants too long so no one will suspect he has somewhere between six and eight toes per foot. 

BART

A simple farmer. Was once bankrupt from buying too many riding mowers. Has several children that he birthed at home, in a bathtub, and named after famous trees of history.

FORTINBRAS

Shy and reclusive. Easily startled. Lives in the mountains, emerges only to climb in and out of cars (his true passion). Wears makeup and wigs to mask fact that he is only eight years old. MANAGEMENT, FREE THIS CHILD.

GARBO

Found in a jungle. Eats eucalyptus leaves. Preys sexually on older men. Speaks English only when fed lines phonetically. 

REPTOID

O’BAGONAGALL

This 1,000 year old leprechaun was discovered working on a Norwegian whitefish trawler in exchange for a daily allowance of fish skin. You may ask him only ONE question, but as long as you keep a piece of iron in your pocket, he MUST ANSWER TRUTHFULLY.

HELMO

HELMO is believed to be a professional THESPIAN but his motives are SINISTER. He graduated from the Royal Academy of the Dramatic Arts with a degree in Complaining and appears to be INVISIBLE ON TRADITIONAL FILM, although his image can still be captured DIGITALLY. A skilled and deadly knife fighter. APPROACH WITH CAUTION.

LORRAINE

LORRAINE is sixty-two years old and just wants to go to her LADIES YOGA class in PEACE. 

DIPPITY

DIPPITY is an innocent LARPer caught up in Modest! Management’s POWERFUL MIND GAMES. He has been told that all the world is an enormous Live Action Role Playing Game, within which he has a “secret mission” to identify himself as “Harry Styles,” an “actor.” In return, he is permitted to pretend to die in the arms of one (1) famous person per day. WE MUST ENLIST TOM HARDY IN THE FIGHT TO FREE DIPPITY.

CORN TOAD

Welcome to my stop on the Fall 2016 YA Scavenger Hunt! At this hunt, you not only get access to exclusive content from each author, you also get a number clue. Add up the clues, and you can enter for our grand prize–one lucky winner will receive one book from each author on the hunt in my team. But play fast: this contest (and all the exclusive bonus material) will only be online for 72 hours!

Also, you should know that my exclusive content is a brand new bonus scene from The Geek’s Guide to Unrequited Love (an epilogue!). Just continue following the Green Team’s track to find it. And I’m also including a separate giveaway for a signed copy of my books The Geek’s Guide to Unrequited Love and Three Day Summer right here. Just check out the Rafflecopter form at the bottom of this post.

Go to the YA Scavenger Hunt page to find out all about the hunt or to find a full list of participating authors in case you are stuck. There are six contests going on simultaneously, and you can enter one or all. I’m a part of the GREEN TEAM–but there is also a red team, an orange team, a gold team, a blue team, and a purple team for a chance to win a whole different set of books.

SCAVENGER HUNT PUZZLE Directions: Below, you’ll notice that I’ve hidden my favorite number. Collect the favorite numbers of all the authors on the green team, and then add them up (don’t worry, you can use a calculator!). 

Entry Form: Once you’ve added up all the numbers, make sure you fill out the form here to officially qualify for the grand prize. Only entries that have the correct number will qualify.

Rules: Open internationally, anyone below the age of 18 should have a parent or guardian’s permission to enter. To be eligible for the grand prize, you must submit the completed entry form by Sunday, October 9th, at noon Pacific Time. Entries sent without the correct number or without contact information will not be considered.

SCAVENGER HUNT POST Today, I am hosting author Lea Nolan!

Lea Nolan is a USA Today bestselling author who writes books for young adults featuring bright heroines, crazy-hot heroes, diabolical plot twists, plus a dose of magic, a draft of romance, and a sprinkle of history. She also pens smart, witty contemporary stories for adults filled with head-swooning, heart-throbbing, sweep-you-off your feet romance. With her heroically supportive husband and three clever children, she resides in Maryland where she scarfs down crab cakes and bakes ugly birthday cakes. Find out more information by checking out Lea’s website or find more about her book here! 

ABOUT LEA’S BOOK

Things are not always as they appear… New school. Cross-country move. Broken heart. If only these were Emma Guthrie’s worst problems as the first day of her sophomore year dawns. Instead, she must battle a trio of enemies—human and spectral—who may or may not have joined forces against her. All while pretending to be over Cooper Beaumont, her ex-boyfriend and true love, to shield him from her arch-nemesis’s revenge. Worse, when the fight escalates, Emma is tempted to use the black magic she’s always fought against, endangering her own soul. As her enemies close in, join forces, and fight with new and dark magic she’s never seen before, Emma must finally harness the power within her to fulfill an ancient prophecy, defeat a centuries-old evil, save her family, and reclaim the only boy she’s ever loved. EXCLUSIVE CONTENT

Take it away, Lea:

In Illusion, Emma Guthrie uses many hoodoo spells to protect her true love but now-ex boyfriend, Cooper Beaumont, and her twin brother Jack. She’s also called upon to break some of the jinxes laid by her enemies. To give you an idea of the kind of hoodoo charms Emma confronts, I thought I’d share a few with you today. These come directly from my favorite and most informative hoodoo resources, the LuckyMojo.com.

Candle Spells

Many hoodoo practitioners use candles in their spells, and not just any candle will do. Each “light” is specifically selected for its individual color and the power associated with it. For example, white candles are thought to bring spiritual blessings; blue will bring peace and harmony, green are used in money spells, red for those involving love, pink for attraction, brown will bring luck in a court case, and black can repel dark thoughts, sorrow or bring freedom from evil. In Illusion, Emma works several powerful candle spells. One deals with love while the other is designed to send back evil to the witch who first performed it. I loved exploring this kind of magic and putting it in Emma’s capable hand.

Psychic Visions

In hoodoo, psychic vision spiritual supplies are said to enhance the user’s spiritual insights and induce prophetic dreams. They can be added to anointing oils, incense, in sachets, bath crystals, or in specially blended candles. The Psychic Vision spell is one of the only instances in which I’ve strayed from authentic hoodoo for the purposes of my books. In Illusion and the other books in the series, Conjure and Allure, Emma uses a psychic vision spell to watch events that occurred in the past. Because these events happen in a vision, she watches the events in real time as if she was watching a news program on television. This gives her, and the reader, a front seat to the action, some of which occurred up to three centuries ago. These have been some of my very favorite scenes to write, but as I said, they are not reflective of how hoodoo practitioners use psychic vision spiritual supplies in real life.

Bottle Spells

A bottle spell is just what it sounds like: a magical spell contained in a bottle, that is intended to work for one’s desires. They are not limited to hoodoo and appear in many different kinds of folk magic traditions. Bottle spells are often buried under the threshold of a house or hidden in a chimney to keep witches or those who’d do evil away from your home. This explains why they’re often referred to as Witch Bottles. These bottles are often filled with commonly found and sharp items like pins, nails, glass shards, hair, and even urine. In Illusion, Emma works a Black Hen Feather Witch-Bottle spell that she buries beneath the front porch of one of her worst enemies. It’s filled with black hen feathers which are thought to be useful for reversing jinxes.

I hope you enjoyed this introduction to hoodoo magic and some of its spells. Though these charms seem simple on their surface, many people believe in their power and rely on them to offer protection or grant their most fervent desires. For more information about hoodoo magic and more examples of spells, I highly recommend that you check out the Lucky Mojo Curio Company. It’s owner, Catherine Yronwode, has painstakingly recorded the history of hoodoo, collected oral histories of spells, and is a well respected manufacturer of authentic charms.

Thanks so much for having me. This was a lot of fun! Best of luck to those who enter the #YASH giveaway!

~Lea

ENTER THE CONTEST

Click here to to enter the contest for a chance to win a ton of books by me, Lea Nolan, and 18 other YA authors! To enter, you need to know that my favorite number is 8. Add up all the favorite numbers of the authors on the green team and you’ll have the secret code to enter for the grand prize! CONTINUE THE HUNT To keep going on the green team’s hunt, you need to check out the next author, Serial Box.

MY GIVEAWAY

Enter below to win a signed hardcover of The Geek’s Guide to Unrequited Love and a signed paperback of Three Day Summer. (This contest is U.S. only).

Chasing Truth by Julie Cross Paperback Entangled: Teen Released 9/6/2016 At Holden Prep, the rich and powerful rule the school—and they’ll do just about anything to keep their dirty little secrets hidden. When former con artist Eleanor Ames’s homecoming date commits suicide, she’s positive there’s something more going on. The more questions she asks, though, the more she crosses paths with Miles Beckett. He’s sexy, mysterious, arrogant…and he’s asking all the same questions. Eleanor might not trust him—she doesn’t even like him—but they can’t keep their hands off of each other. Fighting the infuriating attraction is almost as hard as ignoring the fact that Miles isn’t telling her the truth…and that there’s a good chance he thinks she’s the killer. Purchase Chasing Truth at Amazon Purchase Chasing Truth at IndieBound View Chasing Truth on Goodreads

ohhh this is cool. i’m linking to the exchange profile, which should link to all available fics/sign-up (if still open). SEND ME A MESSAGE IF YOU KNOW ANY OTHER EXCHANGES! 

2014

HL Winter Fic Exchange

2015

Larry Smutty Fanfic Exchange

HL Valentine’s Day Fic Exchange

HL Summer Exchange 2015

HL Autumn Fic Exchange

H/L Halloween Fic Exchange

HL Secret Santa 2015

2016

1D Break Fic Exchange (open)

Larrystylinsmut Fic-a-thon

H/L Valentine’s Day Exchange (open)

H/L Spring Exchange (open)