Tristamp Anniversary 2024!

This has changed her. Her clean white has been darkened, and her reflective shades conceal her expressive eyes - a shield between her emotions and the world she never had before. Something Vash and Wolfwood both had the right idea about. She's dispensed with her poofy jacket and her oversized shoes, and of course one cannot help but fail to notice: she's not intimidated by a hint of sexuality anymore. (Or maybe I'm just too much of a lesbian to avoid noticing the tits, I don't know.)

She wears brown slacks. Hooped earrings. A grey shirt. She carries the weight of the people she lost in a dozen other little ways, something Vash himself does. Like him, she's come into herself - though she was always a little ahead of the boys in that respect. Girls often have to be; it's expected. But she was lucky, too, to have a stable base to grow from, which neither Wolfwood or Vash had for very long.

Overlooking her was Knives's greatest tactical error. Vash keeping his distance from her might also have been a mistake. Because she played a part neither of them ever could have - and not as Rem, and while Roberto openly drew a comparison between her and Vash, not him either. As reluctant as he is to assume the role just at the moment, Vash does do a pretty good job being Vash the Stampede all by himself.

It still always comes back to the twins. Wolfwood, as I said, has more in common with Vash than not. Meryl's different. She tries to be a nice person, tries to be like Vash. But the twin she most resembles isn't Vash.

It's Knives.

Or perhaps a better way to think of her would be as Nai - the solemn little boy Vash knew all those years ago, before he became the horror he is now.

Vash has always been a pragmatic guy, very concerned with what's of tangible benefit. He's practical. He's concerned with the physical. The flower is pretty, but is it edible? (It'd be better if it was.) He's good at improvising and thinking on his feet. He's all about what's real, what's here and now, not stories.

Nai was the idealist. Emotionally-driven. Intuitive. The one who knows little of the world, but tries to learn more. The one who looks for the truth, and judges. The one who seeks and observes and remembers. The one who makes structures and strives for efficiency. The one who tells himself stories inside his head.

Just like Meryl.

Meryl is aggressive and self-righteous. She's ambitious, determined to be on top. She's angry, and her anger motivates her. Whatever she decides to do, she wants to do it well and plan it out as thoroughly as she can - like Knives, she's a perfectionist. She doesn't have the raw physical strength to smash walls, so she's had to learn to be a little smarter than that to survive which... well, is maybe a lesson Knives could have benefitted from learning. But then if he was capable of learning these lessons, none of them would be here.

Meryl has emotions like solar flares; she's intensely expressive to the point of comedy, just like Knives has every single feeling he feels written all over his silly face. And her jacket made her look bigger. Like him, she makes an effort to seem physically imposing. It's just rather less effective on her and she looks like an angry blueberry cupcake instead of a Greek statue.

You know how Knives saw Tesla's remains, and later all those Plants go through the Last Run, and he justifiably freaked the fuck out? Meryl got to see, firsthand, Dr. Conrad's handiwork, her mentor's death (which, despite his assurances, was her fault) and then poor Vash slowly having his identity and memories ripped out of him until he was a husk.

They both had older men trying to shield them from danger and retaliation. One whom we all knew was doomed to die - even him, I think - and who tried his best to make the time he had count. With his death, he freed Meryl from his strictures, but left behind all the lessons he taught her. Meanwhile Dr. Conrad is held hostage to the fulfilment of Knives's wishes, and would have been freed from them with his own death. With Knives's defeat, he remains trapped. Still bearing his cross.

And call me delusional but… something about the way he's lingered on here makes my brain tickle.

He has to be thinking of what Roberto said to him. Conrad insisted he "did nothing to demean" his subjects, innocuous phrasing for a revolting suggestion. Roberto mocks him for thinking it absolves him, telling him yeah, I bet you didn't, you seem too uptight. My feeling is that it's a moral line Conrad is very purposeful in not crossing, the same way he tells himself he's giving those lost kids purpose.

Looking out at all these poor violated Plants, can he still believe Knives shares even that single principle? Is this what the endpoint of atonement looks like? Is this a "freedom" the Plants themselves would welcome? He said it was a hundred and fifty years too late to save humanity... but Roberto's triumph may yet still echo into the future.

Anyway, Meryl's also someone who imposes her will, albeit mostly by scolding. She assumes superiority and will not bend to compromise. While she can't kill people with demon blade tentacles, now she's Derringer Meryl, counterpart to Millions Kni(ves).

But she differs from Knives in a few key respects. While both are (or once were) determined to find and know the truth, Meryl doesn't close her eyes to it once she does. She has the emotional strength, or perhaps a steadier foundation, to withstand such deep shocks to her worldview, and to learn from them, as a good investigator does. Which makes her a liar's natural predator - she's a counter to Knives and his delusional manipulations, a living tool to dismantle his falsehoods. And now that she's endured all she has, she assumes her own identity, leaving behind the insecurities which Knives found he could not abandon.

She can extend trust. (I can't get a shot that makes it clearer Vash is picking Knives up, sorry.)

She remembers the past, but is not consumed by longing for it.

She's proven herself worthy to bear and reveal the truth.

She's grown up. Now she's as strong as Knives wishes he could be, and she didn't have to kill a single person to become so.

And there's still more to come. She's getting a newbie of her own now, rather more reliable protection than a single derringer, and we know Vash's story is not yet complete. Nor can they be sure that Luida's plan will come to fruition. (And, I mean, we know even getting himself melted to a skeleton didn't kill Knives. There's no way it did. Personally I'm little concerned that he might, for once, have learned from his mistake, and remembers Meryl.)

Whatever comes, though, she'll have an important part to play in it - as important as Wolfwood, the right hand to Vash's left.

Don't overlook her. She matters. Ship or not, remember her. It would be a terrible pity if all the work that's gone into her story turned out to be in vain.

Fin. Final phase can't come soon enough. Possibly unwelcome personal insight: it was in fact partly due to her that I found the courage to identify as a lesbian, so my intentions here aren't entirely honourable. I demand more sexy fanart of Meryl.

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

Part VI

Part VII

The opening with the radio! I'm so weirdly fond of it. Yeah it's a flashback, but it shows Vash in a private moment without his mask; a glimpse of his secrets. He's not wearing his coat, so you get a look at how broad his shoulders are; he's also handling the tools to maintain his gun skilfully for someone who claims he's not a fighter. As he's contemplating the crash - he was there, obviously, and he has the photo of him, Rem and Nai still - the radio host says without the Plants, our ancestors would have died out long ago. How long ago? Long enough that Vash likely shouldn't still look such a gosh darn pretty boy? Yet it slips by.

(I do not understand the complaints that Stampede had no mystery.)

This is the episode where he's most committed to the bit of being cute but sort of hapless and silly, too, so the contrast is dramatic. I don't think he was actually expecting Meryl and Roberto to clear his name all at once, but I do think he was hoping, I don't know, maybe they'd believe him from the first. But nothing's ever that easy for my boy. I gotta say, Vash, optimism has its limits. Your story is that you're being framed by your previously unknown identical twin brother. You know it's true, I know it's true, but you might have had an easier time with some, I don't know… evidence? It's not surprising the reporters are sceptical.

Oh god, I'm so sorry, do you want a hug or -

(By the way, this means Knives told everyone it wasn't him, it was a one-armed man.)

He's being melodramatic, but I suspect also more sincere than what comes across - which is the whole reason he exaggerates, of course. (What? No, I'm not talking from experience. I have never, ever done this. Never ever in A MILLION YEARS have I exaggerated to obfuscate my sincerity.) The angle changes to show his face, and it's pretty clear how genuinely exhausted and upset even the thought of Knives makes him. Though it is still pretty funny that Meryl just isn't having it.

Also funny: Meryl versus the Worms, round one. Worms 1, Meryl 0.

Roberto greeting Tonis is really cute. He's a grump, but he's never an asshole to kids.

Ahhhh Tonis gives Vash his bugs and Vash pats his head and then he moves to take his hand away Tonis grabs it so he'll keep doing it and then when Rosa tells Tonis to leave Vash look dismayed and waves goodbye and it is so cute and IT IS SO SAD.

Because Rosa loves her son, wants him healthy and happy and safe, wants him shielded from the violence of the world and from decisions like pulling a gun on the hero of your town who's been nothing but good to you, better than you deserve - and yet we saw Rosa come to the decision that she would do this last episode. Right about... here. See the way she moves from standing in front of him, almost protectively, to beside him, clearing the way? By the look on her face, she doesn't want to. Vash proved himself yet again afterwards, saved the town without hesitation the moment it was endangered at great risk to himself. He's a good man, a friend, someone she trusts. But it's not him Rosa's thinking of now. It's not even the town. It's Tonis.

I have to say, Roberto doesn't look shocked or concerned. He just wearily sets down his mug and raises his hands, expression unchanged. Meanwhile Meryl's turned into a cartoon.

Vash understands. He didn't fight back against the MPs. He didn't instigate the duel. It's because of him that this is necessary. That just doesn't mean he's going to make it easy for them.

Ah, that old Stampede special: the undignified leg-spread landing.

Man the English dub is good, but it's this episode I started to realise how good. It's incredibly funny. "The furious fists of the Nebraska Family challenge you to a duel!" "Felt the fury right there!" "Money! Come back!" "I hope you like pancakes, because you're going to become one!"

There's one translation I'm not sold on, though, and it's Nebraska declaring "Power is justice! Power is truth!" I had the same problem in Persona 5 Royal when I played it and the characters kept going on about how they'll "prove our justice". It sounds so awkward.

From what I can tell, the word they're using translates more clearly to "moral rightness" or "righteousness", and the score title for Stampede renders what Nebraska says better: might is right. He's advocating Social Darwinism, basically. It's the natural order of the world: the strong deserve to flourish, the weak deserve to perish.

Nebraska: I hate cowards like you! This whole planet is fighting for survival! Anyone who runs is bound to die like a sorry loser! But you, Stampede! How dare you?! / You coward! I despise waste-of-life cream puffs like you! You have to fight tooth and nail to survive in this world! If those who can't hack it run away and die like chickens, then so be it! But you? I expected more, Stampede!

Vash: You might be right that I'm too timid. But is that such a terrible thing? Is fighting everything head-on so important? Even if it gets someone killed? / Okay, I may not be the bravest, but what's so terrible about being a little timid? Is fighting head-on always right? It risks lives, and for what?

Nebraska: Weapons… are made for fighting! Do you get it now?! There's no future for those who don't fight! / I might as well, huh? It's what the damn thing's made for! That'll show ya! Any snivelling slug too scared to fight must die!

Vash: Come on, can you back off? I really don't want to fight anyone. / Can you guys cool it for a second? I'm really not in the mood for violence.

Nebraska: That's the attitude that pisses me off! / When the world ends, will it ask if you're in the mood?

It's kinda funny that Nebraska keeps going on about it, though, because he also keeps demanding accommodation for his son's weakness. If he was really committed he'd rely only on himself instead of endangering Gofsef. And yet oddly enough, it's the hypocrisy which saves him, because it's how Rosa realises how much they have in common. He loves Gofsef, just like she loves Tonis, and Vash forgives them both.

Enjoy the subtle gag of Meryl mirroring her "parents'" expressions, BTW.

Nabraska judging the townspeople for drinking before 5:00PM as if he didn't just destroy half the place trying to steal their only power source.

Gofsef being creeped out by Tonis's Worm buddies.

And Roberto visibly tuning out as Meryl tells him off.

I think the reason this feels like it's all happening so fast is because this is the place where an episode of the older adaptation would end, leaving some implied time to pass before the next crisis. But this isn't twenty-six self-contained episodes, it's twelve instalments of one story. The running man must continue to run, because it was never humans he was running from.

And I didn't realise this until now, but the drone in Vash's room? It's looking for him, or his things. It doesn't find either.

When it doesn't...

E.G. launches his assault, though the drones had been patrolling since the previous night. Vash was about to leave when he heard the scream from the diner and rushed back to help. And so he stayed long enough for E.G.'s master to arrive in person.

Whatever happened in Jeneora Rock, it seems it was necessary for Vash to witness it, so E.G. had instructions to keep him in place.

So E.G.'s cyborg enhancements look like a bear trap.

It's funny that Vash has the spider-y weapon while Knives's cloak looks like a chrysalis, and once he dumps it he gets wings. I know it's a reference to the spiders and butterflies argument - kill the spider, save the butterfly.

Yet of the two Knives behaves more like a spider. He builds a web and waits in its centre, then once he detects his prey he traps, impales and consumes it. Vash is the colourful creature who moves from one Plant (this time around designed to look like flowers) to the next, fostering growth, taking nothing needed, and well... Knives behaves like a predator towards Vash. In a few senses. Chalk it up to another win for Knives in the Hypocrisy Olympics, I guess.

Anyway, Vash's Angel Arm is made up of three things: Vash's revolver, the energy cube (I don't know if there's a proper name for it, besides MacGuffin, so energy cube it is) and his prosthetic arm. And, let's see…

The gun came first. A human weapon, taken from a human that Knives killed. The one Vash pointed at his brother all those years ago for a lot of reasons, but I think most especially to add weight to his declaration: you won't take anyone else away from me (the way you took Rem).

Than the arm. Made by Brad, an engineer aboard a SEEDS ship, after Vash lost his left arm to his brother's blade. Vash wouldn't have lost the arm if he hadn't activated his Gate, which risked consuming him… and he wouldn't have activated his Gate if Knives hadn't tried to kill Luida.

Finally the energy cube, formed using the power of Vash's Gate - his power as a Plant, his to finally control. Knives forced Vash to draw forth all that energy from the Core; Vash took it back and compressed it into the cube to be disposed of. He was saving the planet, but he saved Meryl first.

From the looks of things, he formed the arm using the matter of his prosthetic. The bubbling effect looks similar to when he was creating the cube. The gun might have been structural reference? Hard to say, but the cube is suspended in the centre.

The design looks great - not especially angelic, but great - and it's a glorious moment for Vash, finally taking back his autonomy after such awful violation. But July is still destroyed. And I can tell you why. Knives had one last weapon left.

Nai is dead. You killed him.

It was guilt. Guilt was what broke through Vash's mental defences as Knives was destroying his memories. It's always been the most reliable way to get Vash to stop fighting back: convince him he doesn't deserve to defend himself. It was guilt that destroyed July. I doubt Knives himself thought of it that way, though (he doesn't believe himself to be "attacking" Vash, because he's an idiot). I think it was his way of trying to show Vash what choosing a side would cost - the way it cost Rem. And a way to force Vash to follow through on pointing a gun at his brother.

Once in Vash's memories, to delete her from them; once as he's piercing the Core, to call her a parasite and dismiss her attempts to get Vash to wake up; and once to try and violently kill her because... she succeeded in waking Vash up.

Whoops.

I listed all those statements that Knives claimed to be the truth; now here's everything that I believe proves them false.

Vash is pretty, but he's useless without his brother.

Vash does not need his brother. He loves him - of course he does. He wants to save him. But he's never needed him. Rem was the one he relied on for support, and after her death, Vash was too afraid of Nai to trust him with that. He's spent decades surviving away from him, something Knives simply will not acknowledge. He tries to remove Vash's autonomy because as long as he has it, Vash is at risk of abandoning him again, just as Rem did.

Remember that once Knives initiated the memory retrieval process, Dr. Conrad warned Meryl that breaking that connection would kill Vash? Knives made Vash need him, made him dependent. That's his idea of making Vash perfect.

He's a powerless, weak, pathetically naïve, blubberingly sentimental little baby who doesn't care about the Plants, too busy enabling humanity's abuse via performing his cringing, grasping abasement before them to notice how his brethren suffer.

Knives developed his powers first. But Vash's powers are greater. He can do everything a normal Plant can do; he can also do much more, and he's such a wonderful, kind and compassionate man, with amazing reserves of emotional strength. Knives wouldn't have had to try and subjugate him otherwise.

Vash personally talks to the Plants, cares for them, soothes their pain. And he's been doing that not just to help them, but to help the humans panicking because if the Plants died, so too would they. He spent years travelling between crash sites helping Plants and teaching humans to take care of them, assuming an authoritative role even as a little boy, and if he hadn't figured out he could do that, he would almost certainly have killed himself. Remember he finally made the choice to live in order to save a dying Plant, not a human - dying because the environment was incompatible. You know, because they'd all been crashed on a desert planet. Certainly many Plants are still suffering. Because Vash is the only one doing this. He can't rest or delegate. It has to be him alone; it all depends upon him.

And Knives has been too busy playing his stupid piano to care. And having other people do things for him. Oh, and making it damn near impossible for Vash to do what he does, partly because Vash has been convinced he bears all the responsibility and accepts the punishment himself. It's incredible he's held up even as well as he has.

If Knives is even aware Vash can heal Plants, he likely wouldn't care, because he views Plants in dependent form as imperfect, the same way he has contempt for Vash's fondness for eating. When Vash tried to talk to him about the needs of the other Plants based on his own direct experience, Knives didn't just shut him down by calling what Rem said a lie, he started mocking Vash's grief over her death, complaining that she inconvenienced him. He isn't interested in an alternative. His is the only way. It always has to be his way; that's been reflected in all his abuse.

Knives himself is the more powerful (and much less human-like) of the twins; the strongest and most righteous activist for necessary change now that, sadly despite all good faith attempts at communication, non-violent solutions have failed.

Remember Zazie, Elendira and Vash himself all have said don't judge by appearances. Yeah, Knives's colouration makes him look a bit more like the dependents than Vash does. That doesn't mean he's less human.

When he first started using his chosen name, Knives was doing nothing to help his brethren in the wake of the Fall. All he did was retaliate against humans and obsess over Vash. He bet everything on being able to carry out his plans using his brother's power. He didn't bother to communicate with any human other than Dr. Conrad. Seriously, count how many humans he addresses directly in the series. The total shrinks to one if you leave out those he doesn't immediately try to kill.

As for the "less human-like" part...

Dr. Conrad and Knives believe a soul is what gives a Plant free will, makes an Independent. Knives is referred to as an angel, and as perfect.

But angels don't have souls, so much as they are souls - they're beings of spirit, not matter. Humans are the ones who have both souls and material bodies. The dependents are in their tanks because their bodies can't survive outside of them. What makes Vash and Knives what they are isn't a soul. It's their humanity.

Thus I simply can't take the idea that Knives is "perfect" at face value. I stand by the assertion that Knives, in defining all humanity as selfish and greedy parasites, inadvertently exposes how human he is himself.

He truly has only the best and most altruistic intentions: the freedom of his people, and the happiness of his brother.

Look at what he did to Vash. The only other member of his kind he knows to be a person, and he chained and silenced him. Look at how often Knives is around dying Plants, dying because of the situation he forced them into. Do you believe it?

I don't. I find no truth in his words. I can count on one hand the moments I think he's being honest about anything. And I'd like this to be kept in mind as I continue.

I said before that the series seems mostly to take on Knives's point of view, and it's worth keeping that in mind - especially when you remember the Punisher was Knives's chosen, custom-tailored agent. A gift. He was the one Knives obviously expected would become Vash's chief emotional support; all the better to kick it out from under him. After all, his brother is the one Vash truly loves; the brother who is a weapon, a punisher of human sin, who's done all he's done for his family. Who better to bring Vash home than an imperfect replacement, reminding him of what it was in his life that's been absent for so long? His human inadequacy would add strength to Knives's argument. And so, focus goes to Wolfwood, showing how being forced to take on this role has made him suffer. He is, literally, pivotal; his backstory and conflict is revealed and resolved in 6/7, the midpoint of the series.

Naturally, it just demonstrates all the ways Wolfwood isn't like Knives, and that Vash never needed his help. Wolfwood is the one saved by Vash, not the other way round.

So… because Knives was so focused on Wolfwood and what he would mean to Vash, he never once thought Meryl mattered, not to Vash and not to the Plants and not to the world at large. She's a parasite, nothing more. There's no way some silly officious little womanchild with no weapons or powers could mean anything.

Right up until the moment she did, and he promotes her instantly, all the way from insignificant to tango primary.

Meryl in his mind goes from insect he can't be bothered to swat to an ideological threat on the level of Rem Saverem, and he starts shrieking denials that she's beaten him. And remember that I said you should believe the opposite of whatever he says?

She has.

Because she loves Vash. (Platonic or romantic as usual doesn't matter.) She's chosen to follow him even to the edge of reality. Though she found Vash frustrating, she didn't try to change him, nor does she need or want anything from him. She saw how much strength he had, what he could do if someone just had faith. When Vash declares I won't stop until they believe in me, he can draw hope from the assurance that Meryl already does. And unlike Rem, Luida, Rosa - Knives can't do jack-shit about it.

And Vash, in turn, has deep appreciation for her support. She tied him up all the way back in ep 1 - which I called "laying a claim" - and here Vash reciprocates, binding them together. She's lent him her agency, her independence, and she didn't have to resort to anything like the grotesque extremes Knives did. It required no more or less from her than unyielding love - an ordinary human's love. Just like Rem. Thank you, Meryl. I heard her voice through you.

Her love is rooted in seeking and embracing the truth rather than shoring up a lie. When Vash starts to break free of Knives's illusion, it's by holding to the truth - Rem promised to protect him, not Nai. Nai isn't an innocent little boy anymore but monster of metal chains and blades, something Vash has every reason to run from. Rem loves Vash no matter what's been done to him, and Knives cannot kill her as long as she remains alive in him. Knives is too frightened to face the truth, regards it with so much terror he tries to flee back into the ignorance of the childhood before he learned it. In contrast, Meryl's courage and conviction, her dedication to seeking and spreading truth, is so strong in her they steel that which is within those surrounding her; Roberto, Wolfwood, even in Vash. She may be small, but her power is sufficient.

Never ever overlook Meryl motherfucking Stryfe. That's a mistake so great it can see a man go from the threshold of victory to on fire.

And I'm still not done talking about her. One more instalment.

Meryl's learned everything she needs to learn and seen all she needs to see. It's time for her final exam. First up, Zazie.

Only nominally allied with Knives, Zazie occupies the role Meryl herself seeks: observer, witness, knower of the truth, bestower of judgement. They extend the privilege of that role to Meryl - she is a representative for humanity as Zazie speaks for the Worms. Having already discussed Zazie's interest in Meryl at some length, I'll move on, and pause only to note that it testifies how far Meryl's come that Zazie doesn't completely freak her the hell out.

She passes the test: along with being ignorant of the fate of Earth, she believes that humankind can and must change. Luida showed her a means to do so. It may not be enough for Zazie to fully trust humanity, but it's a reason not to fully trust Knives. The conversation will continue.

Second, Dr. Conrad.

He's a foil more for Roberto. The extreme end of the cynical mindset that Roberto tends to espouse - that cruelty is only to be expected on a world this cruel and cannot be changed. But where Roberto advises remaining uninvolved, Dr. Conrad finds it justification for cruelty in turn.

This test, too, Meryl passes; Roberto, inspired by her determination and conviction, successfully overcomes his own cynicism and mistrust, as well as over a century of accrued rationalisations, and manages to shake Conrad's faith, his judgement cutting him to the quick. It's a relatively subdued form of defeat, but, well, neither of these men are going to be engaging in high-powered gun fights. And so we move on to the final test...

Ah, she'll do nicely.

Yes, I understand dislike for the alteration to Elendira's backstory in Stampede (albeit I do wonder whether it relates to whatever Nightow had in mind for her in Maximum, even if I can't explain what makes me think it does. Just that I do). Otherwise I wouldn't have written what I did speculating how she'll develop beyond it. However, just as with Milly's absence and Roberto's presence, I think I see the way she serves Meryl's development into the woman she becomes.

Just as Vash will have to face and defeat his shadow in his brother before he can truly claim his identity, Meryl must face her own in Elendira. Small, femme, viewed as a child (to her annoyance) but a physically developed adult, accompanied everywhere by an older teacher who assumes responsibility for her. And a lot of the other implications and symbolism surrounding El are... I believe the technical term is "yikes".

It's easy to tell that in Meryl, Vash sees Rem - dark-haired, compassionate, strong sense of responsibility. She isn't Rem, because no one can be (arguably Rem herself couldn't live up to what she became to him, which is not her fault). But in Meryl Rem's spirit survives, just as in the rest of humanity; the living reason he follows his ideals, and a reason to live.

What may be a little harder to realise is that Knives is also inspired by a feminine figure elevated near to sainthood in his eyes. But it isn't Rem he believes himself inspired by, except in the sense that he loathes her.

It's Tesla. Where Vash is determined to take on the responsibility that his mother entrusted to him, Knives wants the power both to take vengeance for and to protect his sister.

It's important that he never actually knew Tesla, nor is she capable of conveying her wishes to him, just like the dependent Plants. He only assumes she must have been helpless and weak before human brutality, just as Vash is weak, and his brethren. So it's up to Knives, the big brother, to remove that weakness - he is, after all, their representative. Their blade.

And thus he allowed the creation of Elendira. Not exactly a human, but not entirely a Plant. Childishly vindictive, impulsively violent, filled with a deep loathing of humanity, needing nothing and no one - just like Knives himself wishes to be, and thus what Knives wants to believe would be true of Tesla. She would surely approve of all he's done for her. And she's absolutely loyal to him, and rejects Vash. Knives is her lord. She is proud to serve only him.

Here we have someone who refuses Meryl's judgement of her, the assumption of superiority it carries. Who are you to pity me? She also doesn't care to be disciplined by her teacher. Dr. Conrad tells her to stop and she shouts that he be silent and continues advancing.

On top of that… there's a sense of creepy, creepy suggestiveness around El. When she bursts out of the tank, she's nude, and unconcerned with being so. She is no less a threat in this state than she would be clothed. It reminds me of Knives during Fifth Moon in the original manga. Along with the way she behaved in other scenes, like when speaking with Rollo; she, uh, licks the tip of her finger. I'm not imagining the lasciviousness in that gesture, am I?

Meryl's demonstrated that she's intimidated by this aspect of adulthood. That Elendira looks so young just makes it more disturbing. (And I deeply respect that Orange didn't go for titillating, which anime has a bad habit of doing with similar characters. Elendira isn't there to excite us. She's terrifying. It's like ep 11 being SA but stripped of anything resembling sex, leaving only the victim's terror, suffering and despair.)

This is something Meryl can't face on her own. She needs one more example of teamwork… and Roberto, ever-willing to teach, manages to anticipate and protect her long enough to see one arrive.

Big brother comes to the rescue of little sister.

Wolfwood defeats Elendira because he knows better than to hesitate. He knows that one cannot judge by appearances - he's the younger of the two! Elendira was around before Rollo; Wolfwood came after him. But physically he's older, and stronger, and willing to exert that strength to defeat her. And Elendira's got the same weakness as Knives - her confidence can't withstand even a single attempt to hit back. She falls apart like a little kid, wailing as in much surprise and outrage as in pain. Did you just shoot me?!

Meryl suffers a much more devastating blow when she realises Roberto is dying. But she survives it. And Roberto proves one final time why he was the best teacher for her. Because he doesn't blame her. He could easily have left the same scar in her that Knives left in Vash - you cannot judge, because this is all your fault.

But he doesn't. He tells her this isn't her fault. He tells her she can choose. He tells her to follow her heart. Choose your own path and walk it with confidence. And he gives her the weapon that becomes her name, along with the name itself.

Meryl Stryfe.

She's the only one she has left to rely on now. And she's ready.

Meryl and Wolfwood behave very much siblings to each other, while Vash and Roberto treat them like their awful terrible kids. Roberto does actually try reach out to Vash as a mentor once or twice, but of course Vash is fuck-off old and doesn't need that kind of assistance, so he's gently deflected. Roberto is old and wise enough to keep his distance. Nick, for his part, enjoys pissing Roberto off, and Roberto is for his part duly pissed off.

Still, Vash is the reason they're all even there in the first place and Meryl shows him concern. And Vash, in his way, fusses over Nick the way Roberto feels responsible for Meryl. A lot of what Vash does, he's doing pretty much solely for Wolfwood's benefit. I mean, look at this pathetic wet kitten of a man - you can't tell me he doesn't need it.

I've already talked at some length about why exactly Vash is like he is about Wolfwood, but what's he like about Meryl?

Pretty much exactly as fond. He's just quieter about it. To my read, he's confident she and Roberto can look after themselves and each other. That's really endearing to him, but not something he has to do anything about. And Meryl's not suffering the same kind of identity crisis as the Punisher/Wolfwood/Nico. Meryl knows exactly who she is, she's just trying to get everyone else to acknowledge it, and Vash does so from the first - she's never anything but "Meryl" to him, not "newbie" or "little lady". She never has to demand that of him.

Nor is she in directly a victim of his godawful brother, which thankfully means she isn't his responsibility to help - or at least, no more so than any given human. Also, it's Vash. What's that? Someone is invested in his well-being? Golly, that sounds suspiciously like he's being cared for (which of course he doesn't deserve), or (more reasonably) like someone vulnerable to being caught up in Knives's manipulations. Or just someone vulnerable. Stampede out!

I though you guys were buddies./I thought you three had something special. 

No way./Yeah, not really.

Too bad for him, he's met his match in Meryl Stryfe.

In direct contrast to every other character around Vash, she's only one there not because she has to be, or because she needs or wants something from him, but because she decided to be. She's one of the only characters with agency, after all.

Real people aren't monsters like that./He's a man, not a monster.

But I won't give up, no matter how unreasonable the assignment!/I won't abandon an assignment just because it's silly.

We can't just leave him hanging here./No way. We can't just leave him here.

And she's also decided he needs help. So come hell or high water, this man is getting helped.

It's her knack for finding the truth without quite knowing the reasoning behind it. In physical terms Vash really, really doesn't need help, and it's the mistake Knives always makes; that because Vash ostensibly doesn't have powers like him, he's in need of a defender. (And because this is Knives, that means it's up to him personally, and he's entitled to Vash and his exclusive love/loyalty/affection in return. Any protests Vash makes are clearly just human corruption.) But what Vash actually needs is something his brother has never, in any version of the story, demonstrated the capacity to give him. Even sensitive little boy Knives back in Maximum relied on others for reassurance up until the moment he decided he couldn't.

Vash is more inclined to be someone others rely on, to the point of being maladaptive. It's being unable to help that gets to him, especially when he's held responsible.

What he needs is emotional support. Or, well... faith.

Wolfwood gives that to him eventually, but it takes some serious work, and it comes with its own attendant difficulties, like the fact that Nick's not in a position to extend Vash help himself no matter how much he might want to. Nick is, like Rosa and like Vash, a pragmatist. Do what you have to do.

Meryl has never needed that kind of direct demonstration. To her, Vash is a person, and people always need help, and she's not going to be prevented giving it. End of discussion. And despite being mistaken on some particulars, on this point she's more right than even she knows.

The contrast with Wolfwood is incidentally why Meryl hitting Woofwoof with the truck isn't just fucking funny, it's the perfect way for him to be introduced. He can't catch the same bus as Vash by happenstance because this time Vash is his actual target. He can't have Angelina II because personal transport is autonomy he's not permitted to have.

Instead, Meryl's own autonomy and narrative significance had her run the plot right into him, completely ruining whatever plans were laid for his entrance. Notice Roberto tries to steer Meryl away from the collision course they're on, to no avail, and Vash winds up flipped over. Fantastic.

Wolfwood is getting dragged around; Meryl is the one doing the dragging. When she discovers Vash's secrets, she works to accept them and integrate them into her worldview - which means that the moment she learns he's a Plant, she doesn't reject him or become fearful of him. She instantly accepts that must mean the Plants are also people. That gives her a fuller understanding of the conflict, and especially Vash's view of it, than most. It's not a matter of "Whose side are you on?" It's "How do we move forward together?"

Wolfwood's knowledge has all been filtered through the Eye of Michael, so he's more aware of the details, but can't disentangle his true beliefs from the ideology driving them.

Meryl has a better understanding of the abstract. And that, in turn, entitles her to learn what the available methods are, and judge them...

...But it also entitles her to something more precious: Vash's unquestioning trust.

It's certainly much less dramatic than the demonstrations between Vash and Nick, but I have to say: any amount of exposure to Knives and his histrionics would leave me, at least, pretty relieved to have it.

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Part V

She's a scold. But I'll say this about her lectures: there's truth to them, and people feel compelled to justify themselves hearing it.

How can you be so heartless?! Who does this to someone who saved their town twice? It's unthinkable!/How can you be so cruel? You would sacrifice the man who saved your town twice? It's heartless!

How totally lame. It's not an act of kindness. You're just running away from pain./It's lame, not an act of kindness. You just don't want to get hurt. Running away isn't some brave thing to do.

Meryl's got a knack for putting her finger right on the conclusion that others are reluctant to come to about what they're doing - what she's not good at is understanding why they're doing it anyway. Meryl's never had to surrender anything in order to survive. She doesn't know anything about compromise, nor about bending the rules, nor is she aware that one obvious motive can conceal another hidden one. She simply sees a fault and she wants it corrected on demand. And no, crying won't help.

Rosa doesn't want to hand Vash over - she does care about him. But in her mind, a choice between him and her child is no choice at all, and they hang on such a slender thread of resources as it is that they're forced to maximise what they've got however they can. I imagine something similar was what separated Rosa from her husband. Vash completely understands it himself, because it's what Rem believed: her own life or those aboard the fleet? No choice at all.

Similar Vash fleeing the Nebraskas, which both Meryl and the father conclude is cowardice - he's a cream puff, a loser, a weakling who can't fight. Vash is none of those things. He's drawing them away from the town, ensuring there won't be unnecessary casualties and distracting them from, say, stealing the Plant. It doesn't quite work, but it does give them time to reconsider what they're doing and ultimately they change their course. Which, to her credit, Meryl comes to be impressed by, in a... Meryl sort of way.

What a weirdo...

But both Rosa and Vash are fundamentally pragmatists. They understand doing what you have to in order to survive, whatever it takes, because they've both been in circumstances that make those demands a matter of life and death.

Sheltered Meryl, without knowing it, sees a logic that neither one would naturally consider: one that's uncompromising.

It doesn't matter that Rosa is only betraying Vash for the sake of her people - she's still betraying Vash, who has only ever helped her out, and that will demand a reckoning. Similarly Vash trying to misdirect the Nebraskas. They hurt plenty of people and cause a huge mess (and eat up time, which Vash could use to escape what he's really running from…) while he tries to convince them to stand down. If he'd faced them then and there, the town might have been better off.

Because that's the kind of world No Man's Land is. It's one great big double-bind. Either be judged as you dirty your hands and break your principles, or face the judgement of the elements, which do not forgive.

Meryl's perspective is strict, but it's uncomfortably hard to argue against the conclusions she comes to. And both Rosa and Vash know it.

It's interesting that Roberto actually speaks up the second time, though, telling her to cut it out. At the end of ep 2 he's the one who grows annoyed enough with Vash to be the first to ask him "Whose side are you on?" I wonder what made him change his mind?

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First watching the show, I had her clocked pretty much from the moment she opened her mouth and the moment she first appeared on the screen.

Oh Lord. This child is insufferable.

She's twenty-three, just out of college, from a sheltered background, and determined to solve all the world's problems, but she'd have a much easier time of it if she weren't such an unbearable scold. She's prissy. She's judgemental. Because nothing in the world lives up to her standards, she's going to shout at it until it does. It's endearing now because she's so cute, but she will encounter someone unwilling to put up with it sooner or later, and she had better hope she survives that encounter to learn from it.

Reminder that her first appearance in the manga is striding onto the panel like a queen and then whipping out a megaphone to announce she's from the insurance society, like any of the people she's talking to have any reason to care who she is. She's, uh. She's a real woman of conviction.

What makes this Meryl seem so young is that she still has a lot of faith in the rules, and that the way things should be is indeed the way they are. Why wouldn't she? Her family is wealthy, she just got out of school and this is her dream job. Her whole life so far has kept her cushioned from pain and consequences, as well what exists on the edge of society - violence, poverty, corruption - as well as the edges of her own reality - the truth about the Plants, the existential terror of a being like Knives, who so virulently hates her species and has the power to crush them at will, for any reason, at any time. And of a being like Vash, whose power is even greater, but whose appearance is so purposefully soft.

That dude she's yelling in the face of could vaporise the planet they're standing on, if he felt like it. He would never, but that doesn't change having that capacity, or that there are individuals who will do anything to obtain control of his power.

What makes Meryl such a fantastic character despite these flaws is that upon encountering proof of her ignorance, she doesn't double down. She's surprised, and often scared, but primarily she's saddened, or even outraged. Why is the world this way? What can she do about it? What action can she take?

That's the perfect trait for a journalist, and I also think the reason that Vash likes her - and Roberto, too. It's why both of them are determined to protect her, and Roberto comes to adopt (or perhaps reclaim) a little righteousness by her example.

She doesn't belong on No Man's Land, but then none of them do. No one wanted to be here. Nevertheless they are here.

What can they do together to make it a kinder world?

Also, one more thing.

There's an argument for how hard it is write female characters that the audience won't instantly loathe. It's called the Galbrush Problem, after a theoretical genderbend of Guybrush Threepwood from the Monkey Island series. They're point-and-click adventure games, and they're extremely silly - Guybrush's entire backstory, as far as we learn, is that he washed up on a beach in the Caribbean as a teenager with the burning ambition to be a pirate and no practical skills in this field whatsoever.

Sample dialogue:

Elaine: Ugh, let's face it, LeChuck! You're an evil, foul-smelling, vile, codependent villain, and that's just not what I'm looking for in a romantic relationship right now! LeChuck: Darn yer riddles, ye saucy female! What do ye mean?!

They're engaged in a high stakes sea battle at the time. Elaine is defending the port she governs from LeChuck's skeleton pirate crew. (Hauntingly realistic reaction from LeChuck, though.)

Anyway the Galbrush Problem suggests that a Galbrush version of these games would come across as offensive, because Guybrush is a comedic protagonist. He's subjected to slapstick, mocked, rendered the butt of jokes. He says and does absolutely ridiculous things. Who'd enjoy a woman being a victim of such humiliation?

I hate the Galbrush Problem as an argument.

Because Guybrush might be hard to take seriously, but he's still loveable - he's quick-witted, charming, and his many failures combined with his unwillingness to let them ever get him down for long actually make him a little inspiring. And we don't just watch him, we embody him - we relate to him. His absurd challenges are ours to overcome and his cracking wise in the face of craziness is something we sort of wish we could do. We'll all look a bit ridiculous at least some of the time. That's not something gender specific.

It's not a problem to write a woman being kinda goofy. Not unless you present that as her only trait, or her as the only woman. Meryl completely explodes the Galbrush problem by being hilarious - she and Vash get to play comedic partners pretty frequently early on and it's always great, and her stupid sibling fights with Wolfwood are splendid. It doesn't make her offensive. She's fun! We need levity! That toma is hauling around a bunch of fricking coffins!

The wonder of Trigun as a story is that everyone in it is so gloriously, painfully human, even the ones who pretend not to be. Is there really something offensive about affording women that courtesy too? Really?

Maybe I get too pissy about it, I don't know, but I've been a fandom cryptid for some twenty years, and was once determined to enter a profession where there was straight up a conspiracy to prevent women being protagonists, or when protagonists having partners or lovers, because it meant they were less appealing and available.

Lookit this silly marshmallow. What about her is unappealing? What about her is offensive? I mean, apart from the fact that at this rate she's going to give that poor man a heart attack.

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Roberto is a teacher. He's there to impart lessons. He's also a journalist, so he's there to tell stories. Put them together, and you have the local critical thinker, as well as a good excuse for Meryl to back out if she decides it's too dangerous. He exists to give her choices and to shield her from the consequences of her mistakes, until she's firm enough on her feet to have learned.

And boy howdy, does she need him. Meryl got a lot of raw confidence, but it's punctured when she encounters situations she doesn't know how to navigate, mostly the trappings of adulthood - planning ahead, economic hardship, encounters with the law. But also partnership and teamwork.

I pointed it out before but Meryl doesn't have a poker face. Everything she feels or thinks tends to show clear as day. Roberto's more controlled - especially considering he doesn't like or trust the MPs. He uses the small bit of authority he has to get some information out of these guys, and then Meryl misdirects them. Without ever really discussing it, they form a partnership to protect Vash, and they had to do it together. Roberto wanted to leave him tied up, Meryl was too startled over his identity to talk. And Vash is happy to see it! It's stuff like this that he loves most about humans. (Though he's also playing up the gosh-I'm-just-silly-little-guy bit.)

Also, consider the other definition of adult you might know. Check this out.

Meryl goes from marching in like the sheriff to peeking over the edge of the counter like a kitten. Why? Well, apart from the place falling silent and someone yelling that this isn't a place for kids, what did she see?

Sex work probably hasn't played a big part in her life so far. Every character up until these two has worn quite modest clothes, and look at the way these women look back at Meryl. They're not ashamed, they're almost... endeared. They think she's sweet. Girl's just a wee bit intimidated. And Rosa's disinterested hostility probably isn't making it easier.

Meryl's prone to raising her voice and going on lectures, but Rosa tells her to speak up, and that's when Vash and Roberto find her. Specifically, Vash suspected she'd head to the diner and guided Roberto to it, and Roberto sighs that Meryl's a lot of trouble/needs a shorter leash - they formed a partnership to protect Meryl.

(I wonder if these ladies will appear again.)

Roberto's purpose is threefold. 1) Protect Meryl 2) help her achieve what she wants 3) teach by information and by example. He almost never acts outside of those parameters.

I could probably write a whole other series of meta posts about the English dub (and don't think I'm not tempted, but also trapped in meta factory somebody help) but for now, here's one of my favourite exchanges in the first episode. Never mind the exposition.

Meryl: Any day now I'll get my big scoop! Roberto: Any minute now, I'm sure. Meryl: I'll be running the entire bureau before you know it! Roberto: Then could you give me a raise, boss? Meryl: I'm being serious! Roberto: So am I.

What's he being serious about? Money? Nope. (Or only a little.)

He agrees. Meryl's the boss.

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