Eris

Welcome to my blog.✦ ݁˖

My name is Eris, I am a 17 year old black autistic self taught writer and artist(this is obviously not my job I am still studying). I dabble in Witchcraft, Ballet and Tarot in my free time. My main source of Tumblr energy are the fandoms/Media's im interested in which are the following.

Infinity Nikki Puella Magi Madoka Magica Arlecchino(I am a retired GI player so putting the game here feels unrightous when I indulge in quite literally only Arlecchino) The Amazing Digital circus Various Vampire medias (Carmilla got me bad) NANA DDLC Ena dream bbq Sinners(2025) The Phantom of the opera Perfect Blue Paprika Tomie Jennifers body The summer Hikaru died Black Swan American Pyscho Alot of random GL's (My current fav the windspell)

and more~

I reguarly experience fits of Hesteria and frequently indulge in the sin of lust towards mainly fictional characters! but luckily for my mutuals I repurpose most of this energy into my ongoing fanfic Inferno. I also stand by not conforming to any rules when it comes to art considering I am a selftaught artist and English isn't my first language and all my errors in english are out of hatred! because what have the english done for me or my ancestors to respect their language, even if its the universal language. After a brief lost of sanity and identity combined with a growing fear of the church I have found myself on Tumblr so please by nice to me! I will try my best to be return the favor!

DNI

Straight Men!

Transphobes

Racists!

Misogynist

Homophobes

Weirdo's

YUPPP THAT ANCIENT 10 FOOT TALL OMINOUS BEING BROUGHT BACK FROM THE DEAD IS MY WIFE GUYS.

Im bored and I doubt anyone will read this geniunely but whenever I write inferno I like making Arlecchino suffer for things she doesn't get many concequences for (as far as I know) in Genshin Impact.

Arlecchino is emotional detached, doesn't know how to portray her emotions unless she is manipulating someone and has a disregard towards her own feelings seeing them as a weakness.

I like using those things to make her struggle in Inferno because I attached her to someone who contradicts her believes somewhat.

Also I often use the Vampire x Innocent maiden trope to understand how Arlecchino feels in proximity to the Mc, its quite depressing honestly but because of the Mc having little idea about her nature or what the fatui even does it allows Arlecchino to exists as her own person. This also means Arlecchino gets away with way less because The MC gets very unsettled by many of Arlecchino's business ventures (killing people) and actually stands up to Arlecchino when she begins to freak out in chapter 8 because she hardly has any idea what Arlecchino is actually capable of. Of course Arlecchino has no intent of changing that idea because it benefits her a insane amount but it also reminds her of a line I wrote to my mutual who fell off the face of the earth.

"A vampire who grows close to a human will always be reminded of the humanity they lost." I dont think I have to explain what I mean by that, The MC being freaked out by Arlecchino at times and Arlecchino being aware of that is a direct result of all that Arlecchino sacrificed to become who she is today.

I do have to say that The MC is not as pure as she seems, I hint at that often but she is most definitely not a "Pure Maiden" which is why Arlecchino gets mad at her during chapter 8.

To keep it spoiler free Arlecchino is a unreliable narrator but she is a saint compared to our MC.

Anyways to make you sympathize with this serial killer Arlecchino and The MC are both different sides of the same coin, if you read chapter 9 you'll understand that The MC suffers from a Madonna complex where her parents put her on a pedestal for being their daughter but in doing so cut off all ties that connected her to her "Humanity" because she is too good for the common crowd.(I'm not saying thats true that is what she is lead to believe) The Madonna is often seen crying/suffering and is seen as holy for it.

This is where they cope differently, The MC romanticizes her emotions where Arlecchino faces them head on. The MC is rewarded for her suffering and her weakness where Arlecchino is punished for the very samething.

Also Arlecchino often knows her actions are not good and doesn't try to pretend that they are, but as you can tell whenever our MC acts "out of character" she doesn't even mention it and often blames others for it. This part of her is inspired by fucking Claude Frolle from the hunchback of notre Dame because even if you didn't notice our MC blames Arlecchino for her "unwanted" feelings, its ALWAYS Arlecchino's fault that [Y/N] is obsessed with her (which she is if you couldn't tell).

She literally tells on herself in The Devil chapter, she dreams about attempting to murder Arlecchino and once she is confronted by her actions she goes "I dont want you dead I just can't stand living like this is that really so bad" which is might be boo hoo sad but its also deranged how she says it as if ARLECCHINO is the one responsible for this and not THE FACT THAT SHE IS FULLY NOT ALLOWING HERSELF THESE FEELINGS AND ARLECCHINO HAS NO PLAY IN THIS. This is also why i was listening to Hellfire on repeat, [Y/N] has hardly felt this way towards another person and because of her Madonna complex and Arlecchino being a woman she demonizes the other ARLECCHINO rather than admit that she wants her(of course in chap 10 we learn its because she was raised that way but that still doesn't make things better)(also thats why the vampire metaphor is so present in this story, Vampires are OFTEN used in a queer tones to show how we often demonize none hetero feelings. I mean while I was reading Dracula Dracula geniunely claims he loves Jonathan despite the fact that almost every Dracula movie shows him falling for Jonathan's wife instead)

I do think its funny that in the kiss scene [Y/N] is disgusted by Arlecchino but Arlecchino feels ashamed for her own feelings because she views them as a weakness but regardless still knows these feelings are her own fault and not [Y/N]'s. But also Arlecchino has no Madonna complex so she doesn't feel the need to avoid her attraction completely.

This is where the line in chap 8 comes from, Arlecchino is in a situation where she is both reminded of her lack of humanity but is also seen as a actual monster in [Y/N]'s eyes because of how much she doesn't fit into Y/N's world. And Arlecchino knows that, but she also knows what [Y/N] isn't telling us and in doing so knows [Y/N] feeling this way towards Arlecchino is complete bullshit because she is in NO WAY better than Arlecchino.

"You who had proclaimed her presence a crime against humanity the moment you met and did so with all the humanity you had left to accuse with. Was that all she truly was to you? The monster who tortured you into insanity because she dared to love you"

This is also the only moment that someone acknowledges that these women "love" eachother, because [Y/N] is such a massive cunt that whenever we are in her perspective she will call Arlecchino anytime except for her partner.

Also I once showed a screenshot of my mutual reacting to what I said about the sub text of Arlecchino's actions and I'll say it now

Arlecchino is deranged, she is a freak and a pervert in the worst way possible. And not because she loves [Y/N] but because she is doing some insane gymnastics currently.

As i said Arlecchino shouldn't exist in [Y/N]'s world because she goes against all that she knows, and Arlecchino knows that but in turn [Y/N] treats Arlecchino in a way that she hardly experiences. [Y/N] is under the impression that Arlecchino is just a woman who is wealthy(Im deadass) so she often does very insane things like geniunely implying Arlecchino is a pervert for the first four chapters of Inferno. This at first confuses Arlecchino a bit but then it begins to FESTER

In the dream sequence in the Devil chapter [Y/N] tries to shoot Arlecchino but she fails, despite her being in a dream and also being lucid in it. This is symbolism, the gun being her father's is meant to mean that she wants to use the believes she grew up on against Arlecchino but the gun being empty and Arlecchino seemingly being aware is a result of both of them knowing [Y/N] would never be capable of this, she claims she hates her, is frightened of her but also still shows she "loves" her in the same action.

In earlier chapters Arlecchino doesn't know this and is mainly just kind of looking at [Y/N] like "????" But slowly but surely Arlecchino catches on and she reacts in the most deranged way possible.

Arlecchino is a complete anomaly to [Y/N] but despite this [Y/N] still wants her, and this drives [Y/N] MAD. Anyone normal wouldn't have allowed Arlecchino this far, but [Y/N] makes a exception for Arlecchino alone and that is where it all becomes very Sadomasochistic.

Arlecchino starts to grow (to say it formally) VERY Intrigued by [Y/N] and essentially grows obsessive over this treatment, she wants [Y/N] to squirm under these feelings and wants to see her grow mad because of them because that is what she deserves for acting this way. But because she squirms under these feelings she does things like CALL ARLECCHINO A PERVERT ON MULTIPLE OCCASIONS Arlecchino in her insanity begins to geniunely enjoy this because its a reaction only [Y/N] has to her and no one else AND that this is a result of [Y/N] driving herself mad. There's a line in the song Masochism Tango that reminds me of this which goes "Let our love be a flame not a ember, say its me who you want to dismember" 😃 yeah im not saying that this is how Arlecchino feels when [Y/N] treats her this way but I am saying it is that way.

This is what I mean by Sadomasochistic, its Masochistic to react the way she does towards someone who is claims she is essentially disgusted by her but its also Sadistic to see that and to then do something like what she does in chapter 10 where she makes [Y/N] aim a gun at her or the ENTIRETY OF THE SMUT SCENE its LITERALLY ARLECCHINO KNOWING [Y/N]'S HOLIER THAN THOU BEHAVIOR IS FALSE AND SHOVING IT IN OUR FACE.

The absurd part of this is that I realised this because I was listening to the song Masochism Tango and was trying to figure out why it kept reminding me of Arlecchino in Inferno. Also hi Arlecchino smiles after [Y/N] hits her because she is a freak and she actually GENIUNELY enjoyed that because how many people have geniunely put her in her place like that??

Anyways yeah I think its healthy if we all stop pretending either of these people or good! Because Arlecchino eventually begins to get her feelings hurt when it begins to bite her in the ass that despite knowing [Y/N] is in a horrific mental state and geniunely shouldn't be going to parties and stuff currently but that [Y/N] wont listen to her because she doesn't see Arlecchino as a equal to her (insane)

And Arlecchino reacting that was is a result of Arlecchino neglecting her emotions and not knowing how to truthfully convey them without looking like a complete freak and also her not knowing what to do in this situation cus unlike the children she can't control [Y/N] because she will just walk out on her, she can't kill or physically harm her because she unfortunately cares for this person and she knows that if she does [Y/N] will ALSO WALK OUT ON HER. So she eventually got a idea but unfortunately the cost of that was doing the equivalent of her looking me dead in the eyes and saying "oh so this is where you're going with this" I was frightened because this woman KNOWS TOO MUCH AND KEEPS DEFYING ME IN MY OWN WRITING.

But also stop believing [Y/N] is in anyway a victim or remotely normal the point of Arlecchino liking her is because they are both essentially "monsterous" and also