trinity’s pkmn sideblog

It doesn’t stop there.

As much as he’d like to be serious Mister Corbeau while you two are at work, he could not help but find the everything about you absolutely endearing.

For whatever reason, he had recently been invited to some high-brow soiree. The opportunity to humiliate snooty rich jerks is the only thing that kept him from chucking the invite. He approaches your desk and you smile up at him pleasantly. “Listen, I need something done ASAP. You haven’t got too much on your plate?” When you shake your head, he continues, “I need you to take one of my suits to the cleaners.”

Your facial expression goes from confusion to shock to horror to what looks like an attempt at bravery.

He leans in as you whisper, “Who?”

“Who”?

You then continue, “Do you want me to do just enough damage that’d teach them a lesson or do you want me to finish them off?”

Oh, you think he wants you to— and you actually would. His heart does a little backflip at the thought of sweet, innocent you being willing to do dirty work if he asked. Bless. You even look a little disappointed when he asks you to take his request literally.

Never in his wildest dreams would Corbeau imagine his heart full of affection and happiness. On a quiet Saturday morning, the two of you are on a stroll with your head leaning against his shoulder and your hands wrapped around his arm. It felt so… quaint, delightfully so.

You’re talking his ear off about what’s been keeping you busy around town and he can’t help but feel a prickle of jealousy. Almost every other word out of your mouth is Urbain’s name. He can’t help himself from mumbling, “Tch. I need that Urbain put in his place.”

You give him a quick glance, before carrying on like you heard nothing. He thinks nothing of it, not until he picks you up at Hotel Z again a few days later and finds… a Jacinthe zone.

You laugh at him as if he told you the silliest thing. “No, it’s an Urbain zone.”

“He put it up himself?”

“I did,” you say in a cheery tone. “I heard you say he needed to be put in his place.”

It took Floette a fortnight to convince you to deactivate the Urbain Zone. Still a win in Corbeau’s books.

Though… it does give Corbeau pause. He’s been fond of you from the start — and while a sick, perverted part of him rejoices in the thought of having corrupted you — he begins to think he does not want to rob you of your true self. You are perfect as you are, after all.

As he’s been doing even way before dating you, he quickly switches tabs on his laptop, going through the cameras around Lumiose. It takes him two seconds to spot a video and audio feed of you. You’re sitting at a rooftop café and chatting with some random. He has it playing in the background as he sorts through some papers that may contain information he can use against some choice influential league people. He then hears you say, “Hm… which one I like best? Maybe… the fighting type one? What’s their name?”

The papers are strewn about and his grunts are left scrambling to collect them. He then turns up the volume and stares at the screen with comically wide eyes.

“They just seem so regal, you know? Like… like some kind of white knight— I like that they’re all tall and intimidating, and they’re so… cool.”

That does not sound like Corbeau at all.

Your companion asks something that Corbeau couldn’t quite catch.

“Oh… I mean I’m fine with whatever. It’s just a preference. I still love what I have now.”

Corbeau gapes at that. Had you just settled for him?

You then make a flustered noise that Corbeau has definitely not heard before. “But wouldn’t it be nice? I think it would be nice to have that for me… picture him by my side, wouldn’t it suit me?” As if both scolding and convincing yourself, you say, “No, I’m fine with what I have. I got my own small cutie baby right here—”

Corbeau could feel his eye twitch at that. Before he could completely lose his sanity, Philippe shuts his laptop and ushers him to the armchairs and wordlessly hands him a glass of scotch. Good man, that Philippe.

Good man… perhaps… he could try to be one to better suit your type.

Meanwhile, you continue to pet the over-leveled, shiny alpha Ralts in your lap who still refuses to evolve. You try to hold back a sigh at the thought that he’d make a fine Gallade.

That night, you’re surprised to see Corbeau had sent you a goodnight message first. Given the nature of his… business, you tend to be the first to call it a night.

“Goodnight, my love. I hope your dreams are just as lovely as you.”

That was weird. Romantic, definitely… but a little odd.

“Goodnight, Corbeau. Thank you. I hope your dreams are just as sweet as you are.”

As you close your eyes and blissfully get some much needed rest, somewhere in the Bleu district, the Rust Syndicate are in a state of panic upon the sight of their boss with dazed eyes and a nosebleed.

Arceus, he’s so obsessed with you, it’s not even funny.

The next morning, you decide you really ought to do something about that alarm that’s been waking you up at ass-crack of dawn since arriving at Lumiose. Lazily grabbing for your phone, you lower its brightness before texting Corbeau. “Good morning, Corbeau.”

You nearly fall to the floor in shock as you hear a familiar voice, “Good morning, my love.”

The sight of Corbeau in your room makes you wonder if you’re still dreaming. To add to your confusion, this Corbeau’s got his hair slicked back, and has got on a baby blue button down, khakis (KHAKIS?!) and boat shoes. He runs to you in alarm when he sees you slap yourself awake. “The heck’re ‘ya doin’?! I, er— I mean… what’s gotten into you? Are you alright?”

“Corbeau?”

“Yes, dove?”

“What the fuck?”

You and this Corbeau stare at each other in confusion before he pauses this impromptu staring contest to place a breakfast tray on your bed. His gaze makes you feel like a dangerous pokémon being fed treats by a kind human.

“I made it myself.”

The crudely drawn ketchup heart on the omelette gives it away but you beam up at him anyway, “You’re so talented.”

Corbeau excuses himself to your ensuite to scream into his hands.

After a bit of morning cuddles, you decide to be a good partner and support Corbeau’s new daring fashion choices. It’s a little goody two shoes for your taste but you keep those thoughts to yourself, besides, you find his gap moe cute. Even this tough, syndicate boss wants to branch out a bit. On that note, his next question does have your brain processing it a fair bit.

“Would you like to join me at the temple to offer our thanks to the Almighty Arceus?”

He looks so excited at the thought of you two going together that you find it hard to tell him the almighty is sitting in an ultra ball in one of your boxes.

“…sure.”

Looks like his newfound sense of adventure extends to other things too.

Of course, it seems like Arceus himself wanted to mess with you today, ultra ball be damned, because who else is “preaching” but a certain blond who looks eerily similar to the Sinnoh champion? For all his years wandering the world, he still has yet to learn the art of brevity.

Then, for the first time since his hour-long tirade, his eyes meet yours and a dumb-founded expression flits across his face, and as though unsure, he meets your eyes a second time. Your companion balks at your audacity to hold up your wrist and tap on your watch. Corbeau’s even more shocked to suddenly hear the preacher stammer out in fear, “Th-that’s it for today!”

When Corbeau looks back at you, you’re smiling pleasantly but staring down the poor man with a downright murderous gaze. Arceus, he feels like if he was on the receiving end of that look, he’d flounder like a Magikarp too.

If one thinks Lumiose treats Team Flare associates terribly, one couldn’t fathom the absolute vitriol any sane person would have towards those associated in any form with Team Rocket. When rumors fly of a possible safe house, Team MZ, along with some friends investigate. It’s an odd bunch, but they all seem to turn towards you for guidance.

Your voice is eerily calm as you address the man standing guard with a cool, “You again.” Corbeau could only watch in shock as you instruct your Dragonite to Hyper Beam the man who seems to have seen this coming. While the rest of the group look through the area, you smile sweetly at Corbeau. “Look at us, protecting the city together.”

Is that what that was? He’s sweating out his khakis as he gives you a nervous smile. In what universe is Hyper Beam-ing a human being acceptable? His shirt feels damn stuffy as the Team Rocket grunts immediately surrender at the sight of you.

Corbeau has never been fond of Jacinthe. Though, when she offers to celebrate successfully thwarting another threat to Lumiose, and take the entire crew to Alola, he’s pleased. He’s already thinking of possible holiday things the two of you could get up to. While Jacinthe points out how the group could take part in the Battle Tree, you interrupt, “I can’t go there. I’m banned.”

Everyone turns their heads at you in question. Lida, ever the water type specialist, shrieks, “What did you do?!”

“Legally, I’m not allowed to discuss it…”

Even Jacinthe is dumbfounded. She offers, “Well, perhaps another holiday destination, maybe somewhere snowy like—”

“I can’t step foot anywhere in Galar either.”

For the life of him, Corbeau could hardly get any work done. The letters on his screen are all jumbled up as he glances to his right, the sight of you lounging in his office normally puts his heart at ease but now it’s got him sweating bullets. What on earth could you have possibly done to result in being banned from most holiday destinations across multiple regions?! Were you framed? Did someone put you up to this?

You smile up at him upon feeling his intense gaze, and Corbeau could only look fondly at you, like the lovesick fool that he is. Of course, it wasn’t your fault, nothing ever is. You’re absolutely perfect which all the more convinces him to be the perfect man, fit for someone like you.

During your free time, you go to the different Wild Zones. Corbeau assumes it’s to ensure the pokémon there don’t behave too aggressively but upon reviewing security cameras, he sees that you’ve been running to and from Wild Zone 2 and keep attacking the Magikarp in there. Ah, look at you. Tiring yourself out for the sake of Lumiose’s safety. What good a partner is he if he just lets you do all the work yourself?

What was that you said about wanting the white knight-type?

After multiple days and nights at Wild Zone 2, you finally spot it. It’s majestic, all alpha and shiny. Its golden scales calling out to you. Finally, you can have one of your own. When you run towards it, and are about to command Raichu to use Thunder Wave, you’re stunned to see the shiny alpha Magikarp faint right before your eyes.

It’s as if all the fatigue in your bones have caught up to you. You almost don’t hear the smug, “It’s all better now. You’re safe.”

Your eye is twitching as you look back at your new company. “Corbeau,” you hiss.

He looks taken aback and his face goes from looking pleased at himself to utter confusion. Even Scolipede shrinks back at your voice. “Yes, dove?”

“Dove?!” You shriek back at him. “Who the fuck is dove?”

“You, my love…?”

The sincerity in his voice seeps out the frustration you’re feeling, and you give him a weak smile. “Dove is sounding a bit un-Corbeau if you ask me. Just call me whatever is most comfortable, will you?”

His usual accent could be faintly heard as he teases, “Can I call ‘ya mine?”

“Yes, dork. Even though I’m so mad at you right now.”

He balks, “For what?”

Your arm is in his as you two walk towards his place. You call it an early night and explain to him your habit of shiny hunting and your not-quite-fair methods of doing so.

The cups of tea have gone cold as the two of you talk it out. Corbeau has always thought of you as an impressive trainer but to hear of your exploits across the regions has him realizing you definitely have no need of a white knight.

“Pardon me. Did you just say you and the leaders of the Battle Tree are all banned from there?”

“Yeah, it was meant to engage trainers in the region to battle more but we… uh… we used too much mega evolutions, z-moves, dynamaxxing and terastalizing… It’s kind of why battles have more restrictions now.”

“And the Galar thing?”

You awkwardly mumble, “Pushed a former gym leader into an Ultra Wormhole.” Words escape him. He truly has no idea how to respond to tonight’s discoveries. You seem to take his silence as a queue to fill it, “I understand if you think of me differently.”

“You’re insane,” he says finally. “Completely, fuckin’ crazy.” You look down in embarrassment, looking like some scolded delinquent. The sight is cute, but he much prefers to see your beaming smile. “I have been spending the last few weeks convinced you needed protecting— that I needed to sanitize and censor myself for your sake but now, it feels like I’m the one that needs protecting, you little devil.” He does a little happy dance in his head when he sees your lips quirk up in a smile.

The two of you are enjoying the warmth from his fireplace, and he can’t help think that as cheesy as it is, the softie in him is reveling in the happy, picture-perfect fairytale-ending of it all… but then…

“Wait… but that still doesn’t explain the use of Hyper Beam on a human.”

You coo at him as if he’s no more than a silly little Pichu. “Oh, love. Everyone knows Team Rocket doesn’t deserve common decency.” At his incredulous expression, you continue, “Don’t worry. I’ll do anything to protect you from them. I’ll hyper beam a thousand Team Rocket grunts for you.”