I hadn’t planned on making this post when I logged in. I just wanted to come say happy new year. Honestly, I didn’t remember why I left this blog behind or why I didn’t give my new url to more people, especially since many of them I love dearly and have missed the past eight months.
I guess I must’ve blocked it out, but it didn’t take much time of scrolling through my old stuff to be reminded.
I would only have to type her name and I’m sure you would instantly understand what happened, but I don’t know if I can. I liked her at first but eventually it became clear I was only a tool she used for gratification. And I just ran. Of course I did. It’s kind of a thing I do...no. A thing I did. I was not in a good mental place to deal, to talk about it, to risk being found by her so I just shut everyone out and started over.
I’m in a much better place now, a lot of it thanks to dietary changes and meeting some lovely new people offline. I can face this now. And I don’t wanna run away anymore, especially not from people who have always supported me.
If you’ve read this far, thank you. I love you all and happy new year.
- El
P.S. My new blog is here.
And in the case you are reading this: if you ever speak to me again, I will not hesitate to hex you.
