Farewell
It feels strange to write this. I've had this blog for over 10 years now. But the time has come for me to say goodbye.
After much thought and many quiet moments over the 2 year long hiatus spent reflecting, Iāve decided that Iām leaving this account. Iāll leave this blog up, for the sake of memories, for the archives of what was once a vibrant, welcoming place for me and for so many of you. But this will be my last post.
The gw2 fandom here on tumblr in particular, this place that I once cherished and found sanctuary in, no longer feels like a safe and healthy space for me, or for the work I want to share. And so, I find myself at this crossroads, saying goodbye not out of anger or resentment, but out of a quiet need to protect myself and my art.
I will still create. I will still share my work in other spaces, where I can breathe a little easier (and post work that this platform prohibits). But for now, and likely indefinitely, I need to step away from this blog in particular.
The years have not been kind to any of us, have they? The world has tilted in ways we never expected, dragging us all into its churning tides. The world has been harder, scarier, less stable with each passing day. A lot of us have lost thingsāpeople, or perhaps just the sense of comfort and security we once took for granted. Some days it's felt like nothing is safe, not even the things that I once believed would always be there.
Itās hard for me to ignore the way the fear, the uncertainty, the instability of the world around us has seemingly seeped into this space as well, turning what once felt like a refuge of comfort into something more toxic. I see the same things happening here that I see out there: endless conflict, divisiveness, quick and damning judgements based on differences of opinion and perspective, walls instead of bridges, cliques, lack of critical thinking, and a constant undercurrent of tension that makes the idea of posting here feel less and less safe for me. It feels as though the tumblr fandom community has become rife with the very things I came here to escape once upon a time. This blog is no longer a place I can find peace in.
These past 5 years in particular have forced me to expand and withdraw in ways I didnāt anticipate. In the beginning when I made this blog, there were the sparks of creativity fanned into blazes, the feeling of being connected to a group of like-minded souls, all of us sharing our love for Guild Wars 2, for art, for storytelling. There were certainly issues, but overall the things that made us different were the same things that brought us together. But as time wore on, it became clear that the fandom had lost something that once felt vital to me. The space became crowded with tension, with a kind of noise I no longer felt equipped to tune out. What once felt like a community that embraced differences in perspectives began to feel like a place where I was on edge, unsure of whether the next post or interaction would be one of support or of conflict.
Itās hard to admit this, but perhaps itās not just the fandom that has shifted. Perhaps I have, too. The person I was in 2014 isnāt the person I am now, and thank god for that. When I first joined this space, I was looking for connection, for a place to share my work and my passion for Guild Wars. I wanted to be part of something larger than myself. But the world has changed, and so have I. The things that once fed me now leave me feeling hollow, anxious. The echoes of the past still linger, but the resonance isnāt the same. The goals and inspirations I once had feel more like a memory, a forgotten song that no longer moves me or serves me.
This isnāt to say that I regret any of it. Iāve learned so much, about myself and about others. Iāve seen incredible art, met incredible people, and shared moments of joy with many of you. Those things matter. Theyāve shaped me in ways I canāt even fully express. But the person I am now canāt exist in the same space I once did. I no longer see the world, or this particular internet corner of the GW2 fandom, through the same lens.
The past five years especially have taught me that change isnāt always comfortable. Sometimes, itās painful. Sometimes, itās lonely. But itās real. And itās necessary.
My perspective, my sense of whatās important, of what matters, has shifted. The things I once valued here no longer hold the same weight. Like I said, I will leave TricksterPale up. I just will not be posting or logging in here again. For those who know my handle on discord, you can always find me there. You are more than welcome to poke me, even if it's been a long time. But otherwise, you can keep up with my art and musings on my newly created bluesky account from this point forward. I do not have an Instagram or Twitter anymore.
I donāt know what the next chapter looks like, but I know Iām not the same person I was when I first opened this blog. And for that, Iām grateful.
Take care of yourselves, and rememberāchange is inevitable, but itās also a chance to grow into something new. Something better. And sometimes, part of that growth is being willing to let go and move on from things that no longer serve you.
