Wednesday: The biological weapon is fully primed and will be released upon an unsuspecting hospital crowded with innocent civilians by this month’s end. You have been warned.
Enid: What she means is our BABY—not biological weapon—is due in like 3 weeks.
Wednesday: She is both. After all, it is well-documented that newborn Addamses will draw first blood before their first breath.
Enid: Wait, is THAT why we had to hire our obstetrician a freaking bodyguard?
Wednesday: Yes, that would be Julio. He was present at my birth.
Enid: *gasps* You’re the reason he’s missing a whole dang ear?
Wednesday: That was Pugsley. I took Julio’s right hand.
Enid: I was wondering why his handshake was so stiff. I just thought— OH! Sorry, I didn’t mean to ignore you two. Let’s start over.
Enid: *sunny smile* Howdy, neighbors! We’re the Addamses, and we just wanted to invite you both to our monthly Casket Karaoke Night!
Wednesday: *flat stare* The caskets are refurbished.
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Hearing pip list out everything that wasn’t her fault and re-reading AGAD where she literally lists them in order and tries to find some justification not just black and white- my babygurlllllllll
“Maybe I am not a good person but I don’t think I’m the worst either” oh pip…
Enid: *excitedly* You got me a gaming mouse? Thank you, babe! Is it a Logitech? Razer? Zowie?
Wednesday: House.
Enid: *confused blink* House? I don’t recognize that company. Is it wireless? Does it light up?
Wednesday: They are currently wireless, though that would need to change if you want for them to light up.
Enid: Oh. Weird, but okay. So where is— Wait, THEY?
Wednesday: Yes, they are in this container. *steps aside to reveal a small crate*
Enid: *stares apprehensively*
Enid: Why is my new gaming mouse a “they”, and why does that box have holes?
Wednesday: Because pronoun preferences should be respected, and it’s for them to breathe.
Wednesday: *lifts the lid to reveal…*
🐭🎩: *polite squeak*
Enid: *gasp of delighted surprise* Ohmygosh! They’re like a little mousey Abraham Lincoln!
Wednesday: They answer to Subject 13 or Mousifur. Always compliment their stovepipe hat and never, I repeat NEVER remove it.
Enid:
Enid: Why?
Wednesday: Where else would we store the brain tissue required for a house mouse to be capable of such, as Pugsley puts it, leet gaming achievements as—
Enid: B-Brain tissue…?
Wednesday: —reaching Diamond rank in both Overwatch and Valorant, Emerald rank in League of Legends—
Enid: 😯❗️
Wednesday: —completion of something called an “SL1 NG+7 No Roll, No Hit Dark Souls 3 run”—
Enid: 😲‼️
Wednesday: —and placing 2nd in a live international Street Fighter 6 tournament.
Enid: 🤨⁉️
Enid: *skeptically* A tournament seriously let Mousifur compete?
Wednesday: They were sequestered beneath Uncle Fester’s hat and controlling his actions, much like that animated film you enjoy about the rat and his accomplice successfully committing multiple health code violations.
Enid: How the heck did Mousifur do that? Your uncle’s bald!
Wednesday: *scoffs* Please, hair is an inferior interface, particularly when direct access to the brain was just a drill bit away.
Enid: 😱
Wednesday: Don’t give me that look. You saw his cranial X-ray. The paws of a hyper-intelligent, non-binary Frankenmouse are amongst the least troublesome things to be lodged in my Uncle’s gray matter.
Enid: *shudders* Yeah, no, as messed up as that is, you’re totally right.
Enid: 🫢‼️
Enid: *spins to face the mouse* Oh crap! I’m sorry for being so rude, Mousifur!
🐭🎩: *teeny tiny shrug*
Enid: *extends a hand* Howdy, I’m Enid, and I think your hat is positively to die for! Wanna help me wreck some boys on stream?
Enid: 🙂🫴 🐭🎩
Enid: ☺️🫴 🐭🎩〰️💨
Mousifur: *crawls up onto Enid’s hand and squeaks in enthusiastic agreement*
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Enid: So, whatcha think of the vacation rental? Isn’t it just perfect for our anniversary?
Wednesday: *blandly* It is cold, drafty, and dimly lit, as is to be expected of a European castle.
Enid: So you love it?
Wednesday: It is adequate.
Enid: Just adequate, huh? Well, I’m sure you’ll change your opinion.
Wednesday: And why would I possibly—
*distant cries of outrage*
Wednesday: 🤨❓
Wednesday: Strange, that sounds suspiciously like a crowd clamoring for blood.
Enid: *cheerily* A crowd armed with torches and pitchforks!
Wednesday: 😒
Wednesday: Enid, why is our rental castle about to be under siege by an angry mob seeking our heads?
Enid: Oh, I dunno. I may have posted some false claims that an evil cannibal mad scientist just moved in and was planning to kidnap virgins to use in their unholy experiments.
Wednesday:
Enid: *sly grin* Now do you love your anniversary present?
Wednesday:
Wednesday: *finally cracks a rare smile* …I do.
*loud banging at the gates, death threats, and the promise of violence*
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Enid: Not to doubt your skills, Wends, but there’s like no way you rescued me all by yourself.
Wednesday: Anything can be accomplished given sufficient motivation and resources.
Enid: Uh huh. Agnes helped you, didn’t she?
Wednesday: You mean my resource.
Enid: Wednesday! We talked about this, Agnes is NOT a resource, she is a FRIEND.
Agnes: *materializes* I can be both!
Wednesday/Enid: *simultaneously* No, you CAN’T.
Agnes: Wh-What?
Enid: What I mean is you can’t be both because you’re a friend, Agnes, not a resource. You aren’t just some asset to be deployed. You are a living, breathing, friend.
Wednesday: Enid, stop, you don’t know—
Enid: *whirls on her girlfriend* No, YOU don’t know! Wednesday, you are the love of my life, but sometimes you can be so. Freaking. Callous!
Wednesday: *suffering sigh* Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Agnes: *looks between the two* Really? You think I’m a friend? A close one?
Enid: *turns back to Agnes with a gentle smile* Of course I do. Heck, you’re basically family.
Wednesday: I—
Enid: *shoots Wednesday a withering glare* Don’t EVEN.
Agnes: Do… Do you really mean it?
Enid: Totes! You, Agnes DeMille, are family.
Wednesday: *deeply resigned sigh*
Agnes: Sinclair, you mean.
Enid:
Enid: Excuse me?
Agnes: *smiles triumphantly as she holds something out to Enid*
Enid: *peers at the passport* Agnes Sincl— WHAT THE CRAP IS THIS?!
Agnes: My second choice. I was honestly hoping for Agnes Addams, but I can always wait for my mommiess to get married.
Enid: m-M-MOMMIES?
Agnes: Eventually! Anyways, I have to go blackmail some government officials. And don’t worry, I already forged all of the signatures so you won’t even have to lift a claw.
Spoiler Free S2 Review for the fans that have not seen it yet- (Good Girl, Bad Blood. S2)
As a girl who has loved these books so much-and really just love the world that Holly has created, characters so versatile and human, this season was like a gift. Season one was a disappointment for me in some aspects, as for many agggtm fans, but I overall had very big hopes in Holly as I knew she would have done things differently had she been able to be in the process of writing season one.
I believe that season two will make any agggtm fan content. I shed a few tears, laughed, and enjoyed seeing the proper version of what the show could be. Emma’s acting was pip personified, and only made me adore her more as a fan. Season two is a proper adaption, from the wonderful music choice, to actual moments I had read so many times and envisioned-and seeing it on screen was truly such a treat.
Overall, a very well job well done. Minimal change from the books.
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Wednesday: You are a fool if you think you can threaten me into another public dinner date.
Enid: Oh yeah? Well, recognize THIS? *holds up her phone*
Wednesday: *eyes narrow*
Wednesday: That appears to be a copy of the candid footage of my Rave’n dance. The same one you had assured me was erased from existence—
Wednesday: —combined with a song by that pretentious pop star you admire, who bears a peculiar resemblance to Rosaline Rotwood.
Enid: Bingo! If by the end of the night I don’t have a mad case of the meat sweats from cramming my face with of an unholy amount of steak—
Enid: —I’m posting this little gothic sensation on every single soul-sucking void of meaningless affirmation.
Wednesday: And that should concern me because…?
Enid: Because it WILL go viral. If you thought your Nevermore fan club was annoying, imagine MORE of them, except every single one is imitating your dance.
Wednesday: *eyes subtly widen*
Enid: We’re talking millions of obsessed online sycophants, all spreading your grim 'n grouchy vibe in a viral pandemic of rampant popularity.
Wednesday: …millions?
Enid: Millions.
Wednesday:
Wednesday: Will the churrascaria in Burlington suffice in achieving this “meat sweats” you speak of?
Enid: Yup!
Wednesday: And will I need to wheelbarrow you out of the restaurant like last time?
Enid: Absolutely.
Wednesday: If I make reservations, will you delete that infernal video?
Enid: Would you believe me if I said yes?
Wednesday:
Wednesday: *blushing* I find that blackmail looks good on you.
