A motley of Incorrect Wenclair, with sporadic fan art. Contains some mature humor. ❗️Minors please filter out #adult humor & #inappropriate wenclair.❗️ Demimale • Demi/Aego • Exhausted • Spawned in the 80’s.
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Wednesday: Don’t be absurd. That foolish confession was written in a state of degenerate madness. I deleted it the moment I came to my senses.
Enid: *cheerily skips up* Hey, you two! Guess what?
Thing: *begins to gesture, only to cut off at a glare from Wednesday*
Wednesday: You just had another disappointing “make-out sesh” with that insipid lump of meat you call a boyfriend?
Enid: Wrong! I’ll have you know I just dumped his sweaty jock ass.
Thing: ❗️
Wednesday:
Wednesday: *feigned disinterest* I suppose this is where I’m forced to hear why?
Enid: Bingo. So like, you were kinda right about him being a, and I quote—
Enid: —hormonally overcharged cesspool of toxic masculinity with an IQ lower than his resting heart rate.
Wednesday: *sarcasm* Shocking.
Enid: It’s cool though. The kind of idiot I prefer is the type who doesn’t realize that when you delete a text conversation, it only deletes it from YOUR phone.
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Wednesday: You lost your engagement ring? The irreplaceable Frump family heirloom bestowed unto me by Grandmama in her final moments? You lost THAT engagement ring?
Enid: I said I’m sorry! I can’t find it! The last time I saw it was just before we got into a fight with this stupid douchebag.
Wednesday: The fight you ended by ramming your fist down said douchebag’s throat?
During a family outing, where Enid and Wednesday watch as Uncle Fester rummages through a dumpster for a snack.
Enid: Does your uncle have a bomb on him? I keep hearing a ticking noise.
Wednesday: That would be his new Rolex.
Enid: *incredulous* What Rolex? The only thing I see on his wrists is a broken handcuff.
Wednesday: It’s in his skull.
Enid: …Excuse me?
Wednesday: He was so impressed by my flawless internal clock that he had the watch installed during his last full frontal.
Enid: 🤨❓
Enid: OH! Full frontal as in lobotomy! For a second there I thought you were talking about nudity.
Wednesday: It was both. Those are not mutually exclusive where my uncle is involved.
Enid: 😧⁉️
Enid: …ew.
Wednesday: In his defense, a cranial invasion is arguably one of the most intimate acts between two people with no credible medical certification.
Enid: ☹️‼️
Enid: Okay, DIFFERENT question. How the heck is your uncle even still alive?
Wednesday: Who would like to know.
Enid: Uh, me? I’d like to know!
Wednesday: No, WHO, as in the World Health Organization. They’ve been working with Interpol to apprehend my uncle for both his numerous international crimes and equally numerous medical anomalies.
Enid:
Wednesday: But to answer your question, he is still alive because he is—
Enid: *eyeroll* —an Addams. My bad, silly question.
Wednesday: *just nods*
Enid: 🤔
Enid: So, um… is his new “internal clock” accurate?
Wednesday: You can ask him yourself. He’s done with his snack.
Enid: 😒
Uncle Fester: *wiping his grimy hands on his stained coat*
Enid: Hey, Uncle Fester, do you have the time?
Uncle Fester: Sure do, toots! It’s exactly pigeon o’clock in the after-coo-ooo-oo-ooo-oo-ooo~
Enid: 😟
Uncle Fester: *continues to blithely coo in pigeon*
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If you found me sleeping in your pocket, your next course of action is to let me keep sleeping because it'd be so so so so so mean to interrupt the cute little sleepy princess...
Enid: UGH! For a supposedly big bad alpha wolf, Bruno sure can be spineless as shit.
Wednesday: Spineless, you say?
Enid: Yeah! He just goes along with whatever my mom says. The LEAST he could do is show some damn backbone on his gorgeous—and frankly too forgiving—girlfriend’s behalf.
Wednesday: Show some backbone.
Enid: Exactly! YOU get it! You never let me down.
Enid: *flops back onto her bed* Moons above, sometimes I think I should be dating you instead.
Enid:
Enid: Wends? *sits up* What are you…
Wednesday: *already sneaking through the door, armed with a dart gun, a bandolier of syringes, and a particularly vicious-looking—*
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“Hey, look at me. I know you can do this by yourself, okay? You’re so strong and independent and you don’t need anyone’s help ever. But, I love you, and I need to help you. I need for you to not do this by yourself. I need you to let me help, because I love you and I can’t let you do this alone.”
Enid: Hey, Wends! Do you want to know what it feels like to have your stomach infested with an eclipse of, um, of…
Enid: *quick glance at her palm*
Enid: …Acherontia atropos?
Wednesday: The oft-maligned African death’s-head hawkmoth?
Enid: Yeah, that one.
Wednesday: Am I correct to assume that in this scenario, my abdomen fulfills the role of a beehive rich with honey, into which these metaphorical moths have infiltrated so that they may feast?
Enid: *blank look*
Enid:
Enid: Sure.
Wednesday: Then I accept.
Enid: *smiles and pulls Wednesday into an affectionate hug*
Wednesday: *suffers several physiological responses due to the inexplicable flood of adrenaline, norepinephrine, and serotonin*
Enid: 😚
Enid: So, how is it?
Wednesday: *face buried in the crook of Enid’s neck*
Wednesday:
Wednesday: *gay panic* Acceptable.
Enid: 🥰
Enid: *glances towards a distant tree as someone peeks into view*
Eugene: 🌳🤓
Enid: 😊👍
Eugene: 🌳🤓👍
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