In the Absence of Color

Enid: *dramatic sigh* Well, at least none of it got on my hot new dress with the plunging neckline. Isn’t that right, babe?

Wednesday:

Enid: …Wednesday?

Enid: 😒

Wednesday: *rudely drooling over Enid’s gory claws*

Enid: HEY! My tits are up here!

... for educational purposes

Your request for the specified academic resource has been approved. Good luck with your scholastic pursuits. 🫡

Enid: Wednesday turned it into kindling. She said she couldn’t tolerate literature from a world where all fiction was limited to General Audiences.

Yoko: Not that cursed e-book. I’m talking about the one with fics about us.

Enid: Oh! Sorry, she burned that one too.

Yoko: WHAT? WHY?

Enid: It’s kinda my fault. I was crying after reading this one fic about us, so she started going off about how fanfiction is by its nature derivative drivel—

Enid: —and that she doubted any of it was worth genuine tears.

Yoko: Classic Wednesday pep talk. So she burned it after that?

Enid: Nope, she did it after I made her read the fic.

Yoko: Uh. Okay, so she hated the fic so much that she burned the device?

Enid: No, she burned the e-book for making her cry her own tears.

Yoko:

Yoko: *disappointed sigh* Fair.

Enid: So why’d you want it anyhow? Smut?

Yoko: *scoffs* Smut fics? ME? Please, I watch my porn.

Enid: Uh huh. So someone else downloaded all those “Alpha Yoko Tanaka” fics?

Yoko: That was Divina!

Enid: No, Divina’s all about Polyshades.

Yoko:

Yoko: *pouts* I just think alpha me would be sexy AF.

Enid: Wednesday Addams, I choose you!

Wednesday: ‼️

Bianca: Holy crap, I think Enid is finally over her comphet bullshit.

Agnes: I wouldn’t get your hopes up.

Bianca: Why not?

Enid: Wednesday Addams, use excessive violence!

Agnes/Bianca: 😒 😒

Wednesday: 🪓😈🔪

Bianca: Do NOT tell me that Enid is using Wednesday like a goddamn POKÉMON.

*shriek of agony*

Wednesday: *standing over a defeated opponent*

Enid: Good job, Wednesday!

Wednesday: *flatly* Wednesday-Wednesday. Wednesday Addams.

Bianca: …

Agnes: See? I love my pokémoms! 💕

First look at the upcoming Agnes DeMille Monster High doll coming out in August. I think that’s maybe an autograph pen she’s holding? 🤨

Wednesday: *scoffs* Don’t be absurd. The placement was entirely accidental and therefore platonic in nature.

Bianca: *incredulous* You’re seriously telling me that your late blooming roommate who only wolfed out in order to save your life—

Bianca: —who later did it again at the cost of her humanity and risked living out her greatest fear of being alone forever—

Bianca: —the same roommate that you just spent months hunting for in the Canadian wilderness and ended up crossing an entire ocean to find—

Bianca: —after which you dedicated every iota of your time, energy, and resources to solving the previously impossible task of changing her back—

Bianca: —all while personally caring for her every single need like she was the only thing in all of existence that mattered to you…

Bianca: You’re saying THAT roommate bit you deeply enough to leave a permanent scar in a location with significant romantic implications amongst her kind… by ACCIDENT?

Wednesday:

Wednesday:

Wednesday: That is essentially correct.

Bianca: *eye twitch*

Bianca: Right. So what, did Enid just trip and fall mouth-first on your shoulder?

Wednesday: Actually, she slipped, but otherwise yes.

Bianca: And this was all purely platonic.

Wednesday: Obviously.

Bianca:

Bianca: *internal scream*

Bianca: FINE, it was a platonic bite. Whatever you say, you…

Bianca: 🤔

Bianca: Hold up, why were your shoulders bare? You dress like a Victorian widow.

Wednesday: Why would I be dressed in the shower?

Bianca: Okay, that’s a valid r—

Bianca: 😐

Bianca: 😑