In the Absence of Color

Wednesday: It’s over. My stalker is in custody, that misbegotten zombie is back in his grave, Nevermore is once again without a principal—

Wednesday: —and with exception of that insufferable song Enid insists on singing, we shall never again speak of Bruno.

Wednesday: *deeply satisfied sigh*

Wednesday: Enid is finally safe. She has not died because of me. Victory is mine.

Thing: 👍

Enid: Wends, there’s a sheep over here! It’s like the cutest thing EVER!

Wednesday: 😒

Enid: OhmyGOSH! IT’S SO FLUFFY I COULD DI—

Enid:

Enid: *clutches her chest* Hngh!

Enid:

*thud*

Thing: ‼️

Wednesday: 😐

Wednesday: 😑

Wednesday: 😐

Thing: ⁉️

Wednesday: No, it makes perfect—if absurd—sense. That is a female sheep, meaning I misinterpreted the vision. I simply did not expect Fate to be, as my late Enid would put it, a certified funny bitch.

Thing: ❓

Wednesday: Isn’t it obvious? Enid is dead…

Wednesday: *deeply exasperated sigh*

Wednesday: …because of ewe.

Thing:

Wednesday:

Thing:

Thing: *pats Wednesday’s shoulder, hops off, and skitters away to retrieve a defibrillator Pugsley*

Enid: You think I didn’t know about your little family curse? That I hadn’t researched every single thing about it, until I figured out exactly what I had to do?

Enid: Since the moment we met, I knew you were meant to be mine. It just wasn’t until my wolf woke up that I figured out how to make it happen.

Enid: You see, with your curse and my bite, I can finally own you—mind, body, and soul. As for heart…

Enid: *lips part in a cruel smile* I’m cool with that being a work-in-progress.

Wednesday: *unreadable stare*

Enid: So, babycakes, got any last wishes before I irrevocably claim you?

Wednesday: Just that afterwards, we visit City Hall.

Enid: *confused blink* Why there?

Wednesday: Because California is one of 8 states that recognizes self-solemnization.

Enid: Self-what-now?

Wednesday: It means we do not require a third-party officiant to marry.

Enid:

Wednesday: *holds up a folder* I’ve long since completed the paperwork in preparation for this visit. I assumed you wouldn’t mind that I forged your signature.

Enid:

Wednesday: *impatiently* Well? Get on with it.

“I can’t believe you dragged me into this.”

“We didn’t. We were just talking about our plans, you overheard, and then you kept showing up and tutting at us but you always took part.”

“Was I supposed to let you get yourselves in trouble without ensuring that someone responsible was looking after you?”

Goody: *staring at Wednesday in eerie silence*

Wednesday: Goody.

Goody:

Goody: You’re the Idiot in my bloodline.

Wednesday: Pardon?

“Hi.”

Wednesday: *startles out of the vision to find Enid anxiously slinking back into their room*

Enid: Sorry, I can’t seem to find my obvious excuse spare rainbow socks. Have you seen them? And are you eating? I brought you burnt toast and some coffee. And also this pretty dead flower that reminded of your eyes.

Wednesday/Enid: 😒 🫢

Enid: W-Wait, I meant it reminded me of how I feel about you. Er, I mean of how you make me feel. Uh, I mean of how you make me so angry that I could just k— Ugh!

Enid: Just, um. Nevermind.

Wednesday: 🤨❓

Enid: Duh, I know that.

Yoko: Then WHY?

Enid: I just asked myself “WWWD” — What would Wednesday do?

Yoko: Girl, that was NOT your best idea.

Enid: *looks from the knife in her hand to the boy bleeding out on the floor*

Enid: Yeah, you’re right. I’m seeing that now.

Yoko: Thank f—

Enid: I could’ve just used my claws.

Enid: *doodling in her notebook* Yeah? Weird.

Wednesday: The compliment is acceptable, though I find it highly unlikely that such an accrediting body exists.

Bianca: *chimes in* Addams, they didn’t call you a certified snake, they called you a certified snack.

Wednesday: That makes even less—

*CRACK!*

Bianca/Wednesday: 😒😒

Enid: *holding half a pencil*

Enid: *calmly* Who?

Bianca: *playfully* Who what?

Enid: *less calmly* Who called my Wends that? I want their name.

Bianca: Aw, are you feeling a little territor—

Enid: Bitch, shut the actual F up and give me their name, or else I will freaking fillet your bald fishy ass and wear your skin like it’s the Met Gala.

Bianca: This is it, girls. You ready?

Yoko: 😈👍

Divina: 😈👍

Bianca: Perfect. Now remember, once War and Peace get to the Rave’n, we eliminate their dates, initiate operation Make Wenclair Happen, and their heterosexuality will finally be—

Bianca/Yoko/Divina: *in unison*

“You look uncomfortable.”

Wednesday: Thing, slow down. I can’t understand you when you stutter.

Thing: *pauses and tries again*

Wednesday:

Wednesday: Mother had a vision? Was it so important that it required interrupting my investigation?

Thing: 💅 -> 🫵

Wednesday: The vision was of Enid and myself?

Thing: 👍 -> 🫵 ->✌️

Wednesday: I, then two words. Go on.

Thing: 🫰 -> 💅

Wednesday:

Wednesday: *menacingly* Thing, if you enjoy your nails still attached, you will tread carefully.

Thing: *quails and shakily gestures*

Wednesday: *stiffens* What does my mother plan to do?

Thing: 🖐️

Wednesday: Five words. *sharply* Out with them.

Thing: 🤙 -> 💅 -> 🫵 -> 🫰 -> 💅

Wednesday: *goes pale*

Wednesday:

Wednesday: *strangled* How much time until she calls her?

Thing: 🤏

Wednesday: