In the Absence of Color

Enid: *groans* Yes, please!

Wednesday: Splendid. Now that we are “official”, here is your copy of our dating contract.

Enid: Dating whatnow?

Wednesday: I’ve marked all pertinent sections and strongly suggest you review them before our first official date this weekend, as there will be a test at the end.

Enid:

Enid: 😭

Morticia: *glides over in a rush* What happened to Wednesday?

Enid: *anxious* I-I don’t know! I was just giving her mouth-to-mouth!

Morticia: So she had stopped breathing?

Enid: What? No, no, no. She fell over after.

Morticia: 😒

Enid: 🫢

Enid: Yes, Wednesday?

Wednesday: When you gave me this conveniently oversized band tee as a gift, was it your intention that it serve as my nightwear?

Enid: What? Of course not.

Wednesday: I see. Then perhaps you some idea as to why I found all of my nightwear inconveniently destroyed, as if mauled by an ill-tempered beast—

Wednesday: —thus depriving me of any other suitable option than this shirt and a pair of suspiciously indecent sleep shorts that I do not recall ever owning?

Enid: Gosh, that’s horrible! Who would even do some— *burp* —thing like that?

Wednesday: *watches the black scrap of pajama flutter down from Enid’s mouth*

Bianca: *rolls her eyes* Of course you are. Like a hawk or something?

Wednesday: No, more like a pheasant, or perhaps a quail.

Bianca: Aren’t those less bird of prey and more just prey, period?

Wednesday: Bird OR prey, Barclay, not bird of prey.

Bianca:

Bianca: Pardon?

Wednesday: *surreptitiously nods towards something in the distance*

Bianca: *glances in that direction to see…*

Hungry Hungry Enid: *partially shifted and poorly hidden amongst anemic shrubbery*

Bianca: 🤨❓

Bianca: Why is Enid drooling at you like you’re the dinosaur bone to her starving cartoon dog?

Wednesday: I’ve taken to wearing suspenders.

Bianca: Didn’t she say she has a thing for suspenders?

Wednesday: *shrugs, turns, and with unerring accuracy begins to make delectable quail noises*

Hungry Hungry Enid: 👁️🫦👁️‼️

Hungry Hungry Enid: *howls and charges*

Bianca:

Wednesday: You heard correctly.

Bianca: What will you do to him if he somehow manages to break my heart?

Wednesday: *thoughtful hum*

Wednesday: I would corner him in the darkest of alleyways, hold my sharpest blade to his scrawny neck, and then, with only vermin as witness—

Wednesday: —I would bestow upon him the largest denomination of gift card possible to his preferred cannabis dispensary, Snake 'n Bake.

Bianca:

Wednesday: Time is of the essence if I am to ascertain the cause of the disturbance outside.

Enid: Look, I love your little Sherlock brain and all, but the only ass you need to be certain about—

Enid: —is the one that better GET. BACK. IN. BED.

Enid: *eyes glow with a predatory (and sleepy) fury as she holds up the covers expectantly*

Wednesday:

Wednesday: Yes, dear. *slinks back to where she belongs into bed*

Enid:

Bianca: Hey, Enid. You may wanna check on your girl. She looks a little off.

Enid: *glances over in concern* Babe, are you feeling overstimulated?

Wednesday: *eyes shut tight* Yes.

Enid: Don’t worry, I gotchu. *produces a long needle* Same as last time?

Wednesday: *manages a curt nod*

Bianca: 😒❓

Wednesday/Enid: 😞 ─🤏😗

Bianca: 🤨⁉️

Wednesday/Enid: 😣─🤏😗

Bianca: 🫢‼️

Wednesday/Enid: 😖𑁋🤏😗

Wednesday/Enid: 😯⎻🤏😗

Wednesday/Enid: 🙂-🫷😗

Bianca: 😨

Enid: There! All better?

Wednesday: *slurs* Prfct, my blvd wlf.

Enid: *gives Wednesday an adoring peck on the cheek and goes back to eating her lunch*

Wednesday: *drools a little peaceful repose*

Bianca: