Wenclair edits from Wednesday (2022) Season 2, featuring Enid, Wednesday, Agnes, and that guy. Created: 10/19 - 10/25
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@achromatophoric
Wenclair edits from Wednesday (2022) Season 2, featuring Enid, Wednesday, Agnes, and that guy. Created: 10/19 - 10/25

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Conversation Prompt
“If you don’t stop chewing at your stitches like a dog, I’ll be forced to put a cone on you.”
“Leave me the fuck alone. I didn’t ask for your help.”
“Lashing out when injured. Classic. Maybe I should get a spray bottle as well.”
During Enid’s first training session with Nevermore’s new dodgeball team.
Enid: Remember the 5 D’s of dodgeball: Dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge. And—
Enid: *chucks something at Xavier*
Xavier: *catches* Oof!
Enid: If you can dodge a Wednesday, you can dodge a ball.
Xavier: What? *looks down*
Wednesday: 🗡️😡🔪
Xavier: OH F—
*canon atypical violence*
Enid: *snorts* Shoulda dodged.
Enid: Why can’t you accept that I’m dating him?!
Wednesday: Enid, listen to me. Bruno is an animal. A thick-skulled beast, caring for little else than his own hide.
Enid: How can you say that? I mean, maybe he is a little stubborn, and he can come off as selfish—
Enid: —but that’s just because being a werewolf at a new school is like totes stressful!
Wednesday: 😐
Wednesday: Did you say a werewolf?
Enid: Obvi!
Wednesday: 😒
Wednesday: Just to be clear, you are dating a Bruno…?
Enid: *still annoyed* Yuson. Bruno Yuson, from Thisbie Hall.
Wednesday: 😑
Wednesday: If you would excuse me, I must apologize to my family rug.
Enid: *huffs* Fine! Whatevs. I guess we’ll finish this later.
Wednesday: *awkwardly slinks stalks away*
Enid: 😤
Enid: 🤨
Enid: Did she say rug?
– Meanwhile, at the Addams family manor. –
Gomez: Buck up, old chum! I’m sure Wednesday didn’t mean a word of what she said this morning.
Bruno the rug:
Pre-Wenclair. Enid and Agnes meet in neutral territory under an uneasy truce.
Enid: Alright, you creepy little creeper, I’m only asking this once—
Agnes: You can stop barking, pup. I already know what you want.
Enid: *sneers* Of course you do. So what’s the price?
Agnes: Oh, nothing much. Just another favor on the stack. Watch my back, make sure I stay nice and healthy, let me call you M—
Enid: I GET IT! Deal. Now fork them over.
Agnes: *holds out a manila envelope, which Enid snatches and immediately opens to check the contents*
Enid: 😠
Enid: 😯
Enid: 😍
Agnes: *smugly* I even got some of her playing the cello without her jacket on.
Enid: 😳
Enid: 😒
Enid: *tucks the envelope away* Yeah, well, I still think you’re a total sicko for taking these.
Agnes: Says my best customer~
Enid:

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Quote Prompt
“I know we all joke about your codependent relationship, but you guys can usually be apart for longer than a week without you falling apart. What’s up?”
Enid: It was just a silly post. We all know you’re not that short.
Wednesday: *scowls* It will be Tanaka’s last such comment. She has outlived her usefulness.
Enid: *eyeroll* Babe, Yoko’s one of my best friends. She doesn’t need to be “useful”.
Wednesday: Regardless, between changing schools and Agnes’ integration, she has become redundant—
Wednesday: —and while you may not have planned for the vampire’s inevitable obsolescence, I did.
Enid: *eyeroll* Ohmygod. Wednesday, planned obsolescence applies to things like iPhones and trendy sportswear, not friends.
Wednesday: *scoffs* You’re just saying that because you want me to call off the bounty.
Enid: Of course I— THE WHAT?
Wednesday: I would complete her obsolescence myself, but what sort of mate would I be if I missed our monthly distraction-free date night?
Enid: CALL THEM OFF CALL THEM OFF!
Wednesday: *innocent head tilt* But how, mi lobita? Distraction-free includes my crystal ball, which is secure in our time lock safe—
Wednesday: —alongside your phone, your laptop, and my typewriter.
Enid: ‼️😱‼️
Enid: *frantic* Oh gawd, I’m sorry I ran! I was just so scared, and—
Wednesday: Enid.
Enid: —after I hit it, I j-just… I’m so sorry!
Wednesday: You stopped it.
Enid: I— I can’t— Wait. What?
Wednesday: The monster. You stopped it.
Enid: *joyous surprise* Oh!
Wednesday: More precisely, you bisected it clean down the middle. Death was instantaneous.
Enid: *stunned horror* Oh.
Wednesday: It was one of the most nauseating deaths I have ever witnessed. Everything spilled out in a glorious red rush. E v e r y t h i n g.
Enid: *queasy realization* Oh…
Wednesday: *hesitates*
Wednesday: I must apologize. My words were… untrue.
Enid: *ecstatic relief* WHAT? Oh thank the MOON! You had me—
Wednesday: It was far from a clean cut. Death was exceedingly slow and beyond agonizing. My most twisted ancestors would be proud.
Wednesday: To put it plainly—I am jealous of your achievement, mi lobita aterradora.
Enid:
Enid:
I love characters who would die for each other but will not, under any circumstances, communicate a single honest feeling.
After a desperate asshole crosses the line and locks himself in the janitor’s closet with a love potion-inflicted Wednesday Addams.
Xavier: FINALLY! It’s just me and you, Wednesday. There’s no one else for you to fall for. No one to stand in our way.
Wednesday: *dazedly blinks*
Xavier: *unhinged laughter* No Enid, no Bianca, no Divina—
Wednesday: *glances around the closet*
Xavier: —no Yoko, no Ajax, no Kent…
Wednesday: *approaches a corner*
Xavier: Not even Eugene! NO ONE! No one that you could possibly find more attrac—
Wednesday: *smoothly caresses a ratty old abandoned broom*
Xavier: —tive than… than…
Xavier: 😦
Wednesday: *huskily* Would you do me the honor of a dance, mi escobita?
Xavier:
Xavier: OH COME ON! YOU’VE GOT TO BE KI—
*RRRRIP!*
Xavier: *turns and makes terrified eye contact with feral blue*
Enraged Enid: Killing you? *drops the ruined door* Don’t mind if I do.
🚪😡 😱 💃🧹

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After a case requiring the crossing of multiple state lines, Wednesday makes a call while keeping the phone from Enid.
Wednesday: Pugsley, tell Father that we require transportation from Virginia.
Enid: Saaaay it!
Wednesday: Our location is an unincorporated community in Augusta County.
Enid: Please say it! Please, please, please!
Wednesday: The coordinates are—
Enid: *saddest wolf pup eyes EVER*
Wednesday/Enid: 😒 🥺
Wednesday:
Wednesday: *deep sigh*
Wednesday: To be specific, Enid and I are currently in Love, Virg—
Enid: WE’RE IN LOVE! WEDNESDAY AND I ARE IN LOVE! LOVE!!
Wednesday/Enid: 🙄 🥰💕
Xavier: Just one date, Wednesday, ONE!
Wednesday: *grits teeth* My answer is still NO.
Xavier: But—
Wednesday: Thavier, stop. As I inexplicably keep having to tell you, there are only two types of people in this world: those whom I will never consider dating, and—
*CRASH!*
Wednesday: 😒
Enid: *steps through the new hole the wall* ME! THE OTHER TYPE IS ME!
Enid: 😡
Enid: 🤨❓
Enid: Where the heck did Thavier go?
Wednesday: *point to the rubble beneath Enid’s feet*
Enid: 🫢‼️
Enid: *groans* Dangit, not again! The nurse is going to be so pissed.
Wednesday: Again? That would explain his recent memory issues, as well as his insistence that we call him “Thavier Xorpe”.
Enid: *already on her phone* Hello? It’s Xorpe again. A brick wall kind of, uh… fell on him. Randomly. I blame bad luck and—
humiliating to be attracted to a conventionally attractive person. I thought I was a more sensitive and refined pervert than this
After Enid shows off the exotic cake she baked for Wednesday’s birthday.
Yoko: Those ingredients are freaking wild. Where’d you even find fresh minotaur milk? Aren’t they extinct?
Enid: Nope! I harvested some while visiting family in Greece. Turns out my cousins know one, so they introduced me.
Yoko:
Yoko: Bitch, how the heck did you get milk from a minotaur?
Enid: *expression grows distant*
Enid: I… I dun wanna talk about it…
– Somewhere in Greece, two weeks ago. –
Enid: Moons above, please! No more!
Minotaur: No! If you want my milk, you must SOLVE my maze!
Enid: But I HATE mazes!
Minotaur: Tough παξιμάδια! No maze, no milk!
Enid: *sobs in graph paper*
Enid: Babe, I’m like deadass bored.
Wednesday: I have a solution that you will find both novel and educational.
Enid: *suspicious* Is your solution sketchy?
Wednesday: Define “sketchy” in this context.
Enid: Is it morally, ethically, or legally wrong, like medical malpractice?
Wednesday: Medical malpractice only applies to fully licensed and accredited healthcare professionals.
Enid: Which we aren’t.
Wednesday: Precisely.
Enid: 🤨
Enid: 🤔
Enid: 🤷♀️
Enid: *sighs* Okay, as long as innocent people aren’t horrifically maimed, I’m in.
Wednesday: …
Enid: Wednesday?
Wednesday: Define “people” and “maimed” in this conte—
Enid: WEDNESDAY, NO!
Wednesday: …
Wednesday: Define “no” in this—
Enid:

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Wednesday: Enid, please. You are obviously allergic to the proteins within mosquito saliva—
Enid: *sporting several swollen lumps*
Wednesday: —so if you insist on helping in the garden, you must either apply repellant or allow me to eliminate them.
Enid: *whines* Nooo! Babe, please don’t hurt them!
Wednesday: They are feasting on blood that is rightfully MINE. For what reason should I not commit genocide?
Enid: 😖
Enid: Because they remind me of Yoko.
Wednesday:
Wednesday: Excuse me?
Enid: Look! They remind me of Yoko, okay?!
Wednesday:
Wednesday: I… realize that I often refer to Tanaka as a mosquito, but the resemblance can’t possi—
“Heyyy bitchezZzz!”
Wednesday: 😐❓
Enid: *points* SEE?!
Wednesday: 😒
MoYosquitoes: 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎🕶️ 🦟➰
Enid: Like seriously! Where did they even FIND so many teensy-weensy, adorable sunglasses??
Upon arriving at their motel room during a school trip.
Enid: Ohmygod, this room is like murder central.
Wednesday: One can only hope.
Enid: *stares at the bed with a look of disgust* I am so freaking glad we don’t have a black light.
Wednesday: Who says we don’t?
Enid: What?
Wednesday: *holds up a UV flashlight*
Enid: WEDNESDAY! DON’T YOU D—
*click*
Enid/Wednesday: 😱😀