EGGS AND HASH BROWNS PLEASE

also i love when tv shows signify that a new scene is immediately post-sex by cutting to a shot of two characters falling face-up into bed next to each other. it always makes me imagine that for them, sex must have taken the form of levitating supine above the mattress shoulder-to-shoulder, staring at the ceiling & not touching or acknowledging each other

we bought a shirt at a thrift store that says "best mom in louisiana" for some reason (as a reminder we are in midwest germany) and now my spouse keeps walking around the house wearing it and saying shit like "WHO STANDS BEFORE THE GREATEST MOM OF LOUISIANA?"

I cant think anymore

what can i do to help this time

Cartoon bully with a black skull t shirt transitions into a woman. New shirt. Skull over each breast.

Stupid bitch

Eat strawberrys and touch yo self disease

"life is so hard for men because *starts describing the events of a mafia city ad*"

many lv1 crooks finding a way to get genuinely mad about this post

i skink therefore i scram...!

ocd will have me thinking i cant text "here now if you wanna head over" because i sound like blowjob mario with a walkie talkie

nobody thinks this way, you are a broken person