welcome to trek town

you kidnap your son after putting a failed hit on him. it’s the first time you’ve seen him in years. he immediately says your outfit is ugly and calls you fat.

you are taken as a prisoner of war. you send a coded message to your son and beg him to come rescue you. you wait, deathly ill, telling everybody that you know he will come for you. he shows up, and you immediately call him stupid.

“Picard hates kids” factoid actually just statistical error. Picard is uncomfortable around children. Wesley Crusher, who is a permanent reminder of unresolved grief, guilt, jealousy, and shame because Picard inadvertently killed his father while secretly being in love with his mother, is a statistical outlier and should not be counted.

Star Trek mental health counselors at a conference trading horror stories realize they’re all talking about Miles O’Brien.