rotting

I’m not sure who needs to hear this but

Don’t get yourself worked up over what’s come and gone while you have a whole future ahead. You haven’t met all the people you’re meant to meet. Focus on what comes next rather than what will come back. I’ve pinned over my past a lot but at some point I realized it’s no longer present for a reason if that makes any sense.

don’t wait for an outside influence and look at your life as a story you get to write.

Im going to use whump tags because I feel like this could be good character development inspiration, whether it be for improvement or inspiration to make a character do the reverse.

I often used to think of first impressions as a risk, a gamble. Certain things I say could warn a person off, that it could ick them. So then I’d try really hard to not say anything interesting until I could get a grasp on what types of friends they have and how to lean into that. But more often than not by the time I figured out how to they would have lost interest in talking to me. I viewed it as a test, another task in my social life.

First impressions aren’t a test. There’s no right answer, just one that they find interesting. But there’s no way to figure out their answer until you say it, because they most likely don’t know all of those things.

I’d compare first impressions to hearing about a movie or video game then looking at the blurb. They’re not looking for something specific, they don’t know what to look for. They know when they see something they find interesting.

It would be damaging for both of us if I went in and kept editing the description of my movie to say things it’s not. It’s too confusing, and sets an expectation for me to act in a way that doesn’t work for me. It’s hurtful to the friendship.

I like to ask these questions before saying something,

why do I want to say it?

Does it fit into the conversation?

Could I respond to it?

Would it make someone uncomfortable?

Do I know if I can I say it effectively?

I take my values into consideration. I care about accommodating my friend’s needs , and acknowledging that certain people get uncomfortable with certain topics or comments. Moderating my