megitsune.

​❛ suck a motherfucking dick . ❜

​❛ i thought you were bae , turns out you were just fam . ❜

​❛ i thought you were american . ❜

​❛ is that a weed !? ❜

​❛ i won’t hesitate bitch ! ❜

​❛ chipotle is my life . ❜

​❛ turn off the flash you fucking moron ! ❜

​❛ kiss my ass bitch motherfucker ! ❜

​❛ is that a police !? ❜

​❛ i’m calling the weed ! ❜

​❛ done & done , let me pull the table out of my ass . ❜

​❛ merry crisis ! ❜

​❛ i don’t have enough money for chicken nugget . ❜

​❛ i’m ready to die anytime , any place , for any reason . ❜

​❛ hey guys , we’re unboxing this cheese stick today . ❜

​❛ i aint never gonna stop loving you , bitch .  ❜

​❛ this is the comedy police ! that joke’s too funny ! ❜

​❛ i’m not going back to jail ! ❜

​❛ what the fuck ? $599 for a fucking playground ? that looks like a piece of shit . ❜

​❛ FUCK YOUR TEA ! ❜

​❛ the feminists are taking over ! ❜

​❛ I GOT TWO FREE TACOS ! ❜

​❛ and they were roommates ! ❜

​❛ i’m not your friend ! ❜

​❛ there’s no saving this sweet piece of ass . ❜

​❛ hi welcome to chili’s ! ❜

​❛ yeah tip of the penis to you too . ❜

​❛ this is why mom doesn’t FUCKING love you ! ❜

​❛ welcome to bible study , we’re all children of jesus . ❜

​❛ aw fuck , i can’t believe you’ve done this . ❜

​❛ YO HOLY SHIT HE DEAD ! ❜

​❛ this is the dollar store , how good can it be ? ❜

​❛ step back , i think i’m gonna vomit ! ❜

​❛ oh sorry , i didn’t see ya there , i was too busy blocking out the haters . ❜

​❛ shut up ! your mother buys you mega blocks instead of legos ! ❜

​❛ I’LL TAKE A NAP HERE ! ❜

​❛ i hate to do this but i specifically asked for no mustard and you just brought me a bottle of mustard on a plate . ❜

​❛ how are we gonna win if we fucking die ? ❜

​❛ why the fuck would i say printer ? ❜

​❛ the benefits of killing him would be that i’d be pushed way less . ❜

“I wish it could always be like this.”

“You’re always there for me.”

“The stars are the only thing that makes sense.”

“There’s more out there, you just have to be patient.”

“It doesn’t all have to be existential dread.” 

“You’re so much different when we’re alone.”

“I like it when the worlds quiet.” 

“There’s a place for us somewhere.”

“They’ll name constellations after you one day.”

“Your hearts beating so fast.”

“They don’t know what they want.”

“You don’t know what you want.”

“That’s what they’re supposed to say.”

“We really don’t know what we’re doing.”

“I miss the old you.”

“Nostalgias a trap.”

“Aliens are out there.”

“Did you hear that?”

“I really want pizza right now, think it’s open?” 

“What time is it?”

“But why would they abduct cows?”

“We’ll all be dead soon enough anyways.” 

“I wish we didn’t have to sleep.”

“What do you believe in?”

“What happens after we die?”

“Seems like a silly thing to say, don’t you think?” 

“And what’s your excuse?”

“You’ll get it together soon.”

“Sometimes I feel like I’ll never have it together.”

“It’d be better if people weren’t so afraid of their feelings.”

“You keep quiet and we both lose.”

“I wish I could save this forever.”

“When did you realize you were in love with me?”

“The rooms spinning.”

“I loved you long before you knew.”

“I’m not afraid of death, I think it’ll be peaceful.”

“The Universe is too big for that.”

“Do you think we’ve met in other lives?” 

“I’d come back to haunt you.” 

“Would you come back to haunt me?”

“What’s alternate universe you doing right now?”

“Tell me a secret.”

“Why haven’t you told anyone?” 

“I wish we knew each other sooner.”

“You’re a game changer.” 

“I’m a game changer.”

“Don’t ignore fate.” 

“Ignorance isn’t bliss.”

“What, is that a conspiracy theory?”