That being said, she might not be as stable as she's playing up to be. There's a little smile tugging at the corner of his lips, if only because he's missed her. A lot. He can feel his whole body pulling towards her but he knows he can't because she's working, he can't get her in trouble - he knows there's cameras.

Head tilts and he laughs softly, knowingly. She can't just leave her job and it would have been ridiculous to expect otherwise. His fingertips still tap gently at the counter and he nods again, hand resting flat against the counter for a moment while he watches her carefully.

She seems a little off. But that makes sense. He's been gone, for a while. Maybe he looks different to her now.

"Oh what the hell." She says, rounding the counter and pulling Barry in for a kiss. Fuck the cameras. She hasn't been able to kiss her boyfriend in nine months, she'll be damned if she lets minimum wage get in the way of that. Her hand slides from his cheek, down his neck, until it rests on his chest just over his heart. It feels like it's about to beat out of his chest with how fast it's racing. She smooths her thumb over the fabric there as she looks up at him. It feels a little more real now. But she's pretty sure it won't ever feel the same until she tells him the truth.

And she's not sure if she'll ever be brave enough to do that. She worked so hard to be the Sarah she was nine months ago, she's fought tooth and nail not to be her father's daughter. She doesn't want him to look at her differently. She wants him to look at her this way for as long as they're in each other's lives. Forever, she hopes. But the idea of saying that out loud makes her throat feel like it's closing a little.

"Alright, get out of here." She says, a smirk on her lips as she gently pushes him towards the door. She knows the rest of her shift is basically shot as it is, she's going to be counting the minutes until she gets to see him again. But she can be patient, they both can. Even though it already feels like they've waited long enough.

As she watches him cross the street she decides that maybe the time isn't a bad thing. It gives her time to figure out what she's going to do. Except for the fact that she only figures out one thing in those two hours. Telling him feels impossible. But lying to him, even if it's by omission, feels unbearable. She doesn't know what she's supposed to do.

She's so caught up in her head on the walk to the precinct that she doesn't notice her powers have gotten the better of her until she stops just outside the door. The reflection in the glass isn't her own. It's a woman, probably mid-forties, with red hair and brown eyes. She must've passed her on the street, caught a quick glimpse of her that her brain hadn't even fully registered. She hurries back down the steps, rounding the corner into the alley in an attempt to try and regain control of herself. To find a way to look like someone Barry recognizes so he doesn't think she stood him up.

"Better for who?" Not for him, and certainly not for the people who cared about him. He knew that to the CIA it was better, letting everyone think he was dead so that whoever this Ring was would let their guard down. The problem was that while Winn worked for them he knew better than to actually trust the agency. They were always going to have different priorities, different things to consider than Winn did.

"I know you can't see it now." She says, knowing she's fighting an uphill battle and is failing with every step. "But one day you'll understand why it had to be this way."

"What if I need this?" She asks, knowing it's a low blow. It's not fair. But, then again, none of this is. "What if I need you to be safe? What if I need to know that you're somewhere no one can get to you because I can't live with myself if something happens to you again?"

Barry lingers on the thought a moment, lips pursing slightly. He can only imagine what everyone has been through, all the people that care about him - were they sat waiting by the phone, in the hopes that he would wake up sooner rather than later? Or did they keep going on with life with him in the back of their minds?

Either response was normal and he wasn't going to blame anyone for moving on with their lives. He just hopes that she hasn't moved on too much. He's not sure he could take much more surprise today. It's already been a lot to take in and a lot to deal with. He just wants to sit with his person, the one person that makes him feel grounded and safe.

Because this morning all she wanted was to be able to roll over after snoozing her alarm and see Barry lying next to her, then watch him scramble out of bed when he realized that he'd lost track of time and was dangerously close to being late to work. But then she reminded herself that she'd be lucky if she ever saw him open his eyes again. If something as simple as that seemed beyond her reach, then nothing else she'd been imagining could've been anywhere close to possible.

She's always pictured it as something out of a romcom. She figured there'd be tears. And kissing. Probably a lot of kissing. She didn't figure to feel the way she does right now. It kind of feels like she's looking at a stranger, even though he's not. Nine months ago she would've said he was the person who knows her best, maybe better than she knows herself sometimes. Right now the thought of that worries her, because she knows that the particle accelerator changed her and she can't help but wonder if it changed him too.

She's doesn't know how to ask. She's not sure she really wants to.

"Oh." She says. She kind of feels like she got hit by a truck. Iris is his best friend, Joe raised him. She figured they'd be the first to known. Yes, Barry loves her. She knows this, has never a reason to doubt it, really. She's just not accustomed to being someone's priority, to being the first person they think of when they get out of a coma.

She gets hit with a sudden surge of guilt, thinking about the last nine months and how her visits grew increasingly infrequent, to almost nonexistent, after he got moved to S.T.A.R. Labs. She's never been good about expressing her feelings, about letting anyone see her be vulnerable, she didn't like the audience. She especially didn't like the way Harrison Wells had a tendency to stare at her. She just couldn't keep it up, no matter how much she wanted to be there with him.

"I, um, I can't." She stops herself, shaking her head as if to clear the train of thought. "That came out wrong. I'm really happy to see you, so happy." She hopes her smile is convincing, because she means it. "And I would love to drop everything, but I have two hours left on my shift and my manager will kill me if I close up early again." Her manager is always one day away from firing her as it is, and she might hate this place but she has rent to pay.

follow. sender is following receiver for some reason.

breakdance. receiver walks in on sender breakdancing and joins them.

ballet. receiver is trying to learn ballet with sender.

stare. receiver is watching sender closely.

hearteyes. while sender is excitedly talking about something, receiver suddenly has hearteyes for sender.

ready to risk it all. sender officially confesses how they feel about receiver.

street light. receiver discovers sender switching the street light on and off for some reason.

ants go marching. mid-chatting, receiver gets distracted by a trail of ants passing by them and sender.

unrequited. receiver responds to their feelings not being reciprocated by sender.

foam sword. receiver pulls a toy sword out on sender only to be met with the same response.

water sprinkler. sender and receiver spend time together splashing and running around under the water sprinkler.

show off. sender and receiver are preparing to show off their prized possessions and debate who has the best item.

gloomy days. someone put sender in a rather foul mood and receiver attempts to make things better.

shake it, shake. sender and receiver draw in a crowd playing maracas and putting on a show.

chase. receiver chases sender around the gardens.

date. sender and receiver are on a special date.

shooting star. sender and receiver are lying in a bed of grass watching the stars together.

renovate. receiver asks sender to help them decorating and/or renovating around their home.

jump scare. receiver reacts to sender's attempt to spook them.

blushing mess. sender and receiver clearly have a thing for one another but are being bashful.

new style. receiver models their new hairstyle/clothing style for sender.

MARY JANES

"My body's not a temple, more a bachelorette pad."

"My skin isn't thick, yeah, that shit made me cry."

"I'm not the coolest or the greatest in the club."

"I hope they represent us when the aliens invade."

"They'll ask me if I'm special, I'll say just to you."

"My lover likes me best with nothing on at all."

"I am healthy, I am yours and that's enough."

AUDREY HEPBURN

"I wanted to be immortal."

"I want forests, I want fires."

"I wanted to be immortal, now I'm fine with growing old."

"I was chasing phantoms."

"Where there was push, now there is pull."

"I am drawn to your bones."

"Love, when it's the right kind, well, it always points you home."

"Love was a myth, now it's my morning coffee."

"I don't need accolades or everyone to want me."

"You want me and that's as good as it gets."

SAY MY NAME IN YOUR SLEEP

"Does my memory kill or is it letting you live?"

"I'd rather be hated than forgotten."

"You can change the lock, but I will never quite leave you."

"I know it's done, I know it's over."

"You're better far away from me."

"You're happy, I'm happy for you."

"I hope you say my name in your sleep."

"If these walls could talk, I swear they'd scream."

"It was love, don't lie to me, babe."

"It's the least I deserve and the thanks I get."

"Can't gimme the world, so give me my name under your breath."

OLD FASHIONED

"I lived on your razor's edge for about a year or so."

"I came out seeing things, I came out barely alive."

"She thinks you're so magic, it's fucking barbaric."

"I wish you'd never happened."

"I kept your promises until they all grew teeth."

"It's all just one pathetic, devastating lie."

"I wish your awful hands had never had me at all."

"You are a false prophet and a fool's promise."

HOUSES

"I can see it, the life I could've lived."

"If I'd listened a little closer, if I'd loved you a little less."

"I can see it, like a nightmare, like a vision."

"The signal's bad, that's why the phone never rings."

"No white dress in a frame 'cause you cheated on her."

KINGMAKER

"I called in every favor."

"Give a man one sword, he thinks that he's a savior."

"Once you got what you want, you didn't want me."

"Let you in my home, let you in. my pictures."

"You love a strong woman, until it makes you bitter."

"Now you say you're self-made, guess your memory's fuzzy."

"Did you get off going to bed with the kingmaker?"

VAMPIRE TIME

"Your life, I dreamed about it."

"We had a moment, had an opening, had an almost first kiss."

"I had to see about it, I had to see about you."

"Heaven knows that you're still on my mind."

"Does your telephone still talk 'bout me sometimes?"

"I let go but I'm ready, I'm ready now."

"I love you, I promise, and I will till I die."

"So what are you doing tomorrow, and for the rest of your life?"

MY REGARDS

"This love's got me possessive."

"If you lay a hand on him/her/them, we're both getting arrested."

"Sorry, your kisses make me cocky."

"If I saw him/her/them in this light, I'd want him/her/them too."

"They can look, but they can't ever touch."

"Ride or die, I said it and I meant it."

YOU YOU YOU

"Your name lives in my chest."

"I can't go back, and I can't go home, and I can't move forward."

"I'm the scene of the crime, and the bore of the bar, and a memory hoarder."

"It was black and white, but I see it in color."

"You keep your distance, but not your word."

"You said you loved me, how can that be true?"

"I care about you, knowing you couldn't care less."

IF YOU LET ME

"My heart's a ticking bomb, you set it off."

"I'll be alright, if you let me."

"Loving you is evergreen."

"If you wanna call, oh, please don't."

"It will sink me if you're holding on."

"So please be a stranger, be gone."

FLAT EARTHER

"You were something more than mortal."

"God, there's nothing like a girl and her favorite conspiracy."

"It sure was something, believing like that."

"You were something more than mortal, and you were in love with me."

"I just don't believe in you anymore."

"Tryna make a man out of you, impossible."

"I still believe in miracles and prophecies, I just don't believe in you anymore."

QUESTIONS

"Do you think about me?"

"Do you think about us?"

"Do you miss my pretty, my funny, my touch?"

"Is it driving you mad?"

"Does she look like me? Course she does."

"Will you ever move on? Will we ever be done?"

"Holding on to memories won't keep you warm."

"Now you got a miserable life."

"But who am I kidding? You never listened."

GIRL'S JUST FLYING

"I used to think this town was taken by you."

"I don't miss you, it's like freedom."

"I'm not bitter, I'm not dying."

"I forget about you when I'm not even trying."

"Can't bait the girl if the girl's not biting."

"I know you loved me, yeah, the best that you could."

"Everything worked out like it should."

"I don't want you to come back."

YOU THEN ME NOW

"You'd walk in and light up a room."

"You were nothing worth crying for."

"My heart used to break, now it's all muscle."

"I believed ya, but to be fair, I didn't know ya."

NOTHING LIKE BEING IN LOVE

"Nothing like being in love with somebody honest, somebody kind."

"I know now what we had was nothing like being in love."

"Someone is making me smile now."

"Time was done with us."

"We weren't right, but God, we were good."

He would give her the benefit of the doubt, just because he liked her a bit more than any other security detail he had had in the past. Still, it didn’t erase the fact she sounded like a goody two-shoes despite her laid back attitude of letting him do what he wanted. TJ would eventually find out if that’s true or not. “Maybe you don’t understand the concept. It’s about having fun with your friends, even meeting new people. Everything’s allowed for one night. Would you prefer people get shitfaced during weekdays?”

"If things get out of hand it might be good for you to have someone looking out for you for once." Because she knows enough that he's going to find a way to do what he wants to do anyway. And it's in both of their best interests if they skip the pretense and stop acting like it'd be easier for both of them if he had to lie about it.

Or at least, that's how it feels. Maybe that's not what it looks like to the outside world. From the outside looking in, Barry has always been cornered as the weird kid. The kid that sees things that aren't there. The man in yellow, surrounded by lightning. The one who took his mother away. Yet nobody ever believed him.

Not even his foster family. Not really. Joe always gave him the look of sympathy, the kind that clearly expressed disbelief. It can really damage someone, to go your entire life being told that what you saw wasn't real. Especially because he knew it was real. He knew what happened.

He knows what he saw.

Barry has tried to make a life for himself since losing his mother and his father. Going through the motions until he finally found his ground and his people. Becoming a CSI and finding the worlds best girlfriend - things had turned out pretty damn good for him, all things considered.

Then the world turns upside down again and the next thing Barry knows is waking up from a nine month coma. There's a good chance that his girlfriend is gone and he knows for a damn fact that his apartment will have been taken away because he wasn't there to pay the rent. Where is he supposed to go now?

To the only person he knows he can absolutely, one hundred percent, count on.

Sarah.

"That's alright, I don't mind waiting."

She shakes it off, goes back to tugging the box off the shelf, but she loses her grip and it falls to the ground, spilling out bags of m&ms onto the tile at her feet. "Shit."

She crouches down to collect the bags, dumping them back in the box and dragging it alongside her as she follows the trail of m&m bags to the open doorway between the stock room and the main shop. She drops the last bag into the box, bracing the box on her thigh while lifting her head only briefly to get a look at the customer on the other side of the counter. Her eyes meet the tile again for a millisecond before her head snaps up.

tws apply: grief/fear for someone’s life, mention of injuries, unconsciousness, hospitals, comas, mention of involuntary drugging. that’s the general vibe.

WORDS

“Theeeere you are. Hi. Welcome back.”

“Breathe. Hi, we found you, just breathe for me, okay?”

“This is going to hurt, but it will help you.”

“You’re safe. [Name], can you hear me? They’re here to help you, you need to let them help you.”

“I found them, they’re over here!”

“Does anyone have medical training?”

“N.. no, no, no, no, hey. [Name]? Hi, I’ve got you.”

“You can sleep, [name]. It’s over.”

“I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

“You were in an induced coma. Your body went through a lot.”

“I wasn’t –… Your doctors weren’t sure you’d wake up.”

“[Name]? Was that - did you squeeze my hand?”

“It’s okay. It’s meant to be there, it’s helping you breathe.”

“Can you hear me?”

“You.. you were so close to dying. I was scared.”

ACTIONS

[ GATHER ] for sender to gather receiver’s (unconscious) body into their arms, in the style of no no no not them.

[ STARING ] for sender to find receiver sitting alone staring at a wall, covered in blood, and to touch their arm.

[ WAITING ] for sender to be waiting at receiver’s hospital bedside when receiver finally comes out of a coma, or wakes from surgery.

[ STEADY ] for sender to catch or steady receiver when receiver tries to stand up too early or to push their body past what it’s ready for

[ TEARS ]  for receiver to find tears on sender’s face, when they’re finally reunited (either immediately after the trauma, or waking up in a hospital), because sender thought receiver was dead or dying

[ GRIEF ]  for receiver to wake up just as sender is saying goodbye, because the doctors told them to. feel free to specify what they might be saying. do not judge me, this is going in the meme

[ LETTER ] for sender to find a last letter, video, text, etc that receiver made for them, thinking they wouldn’t make it out of the situation alive. Obviously receiver does make it out alive, but the letter/video still exists (and receiver will detail what’s in it).