âDo dishesâ and âtake out trashâ both require the use of a spell slot, vs âuse phoneâ is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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@travellerofplaces
âDo dishesâ and âtake out trashâ both require the use of a spell slot, vs âuse phoneâ is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

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new OC for a one shot! beautiful pirate lady i love you and your unsettling fish eyes.
Ohhh my gods sheâs beautifullll
Here's your reminder to submit your original work to literary journals and magazines
I know responses can take a while, but your work will take even longer to publish if you never send it anywhere
I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.
Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."
I'm literally a flight attendant, offering snacks and drinks is my job

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This is easily the most interesting take I've ever seen discussing why the older generations seem to struggle so much with the discussions and changes with gender identity, and I think it's absolutely worth reading.
Obviously it doesn't cover 100% of intolerant people, but I think it explains a decent chunk tbh.
âbut what if you abort the baby whoâll cure cancer?!â sir the baby who will cure cancer is an organic chemistry major who works at a Home Depot because you use AI to go through your resumes
"I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einsteinâs brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops." - Stephen Jay Gould, The Panda's Thumb: More Reflections in Natural History
â
dear me,
itâs going to be okay someday. just not today.
i love you.
Everyone go look up the song nasa banned from space
Don't forget to play it loud as fuck
pleaseâŚ.listen to the whole thing. And imagine that you are IN SPACE in 1973 and you JUST woke up. Every time you adjustâŚit escalates somehow.
This song had to be designed in a lab for the sole purpose of fucking with astronauts. whoever added it to the NASA playlist was a genius.
It took them two tries to ban it?

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''what if you regret it'' then you will expirience regret - a normal and unavoidable part of the human expirience.
the more you twist yourself into a pretzel to avoid regret the harder it will hit when it eventually catches up to you.
If you spent the first half of 2026 in survival mode, may the second half be spent in revival mode. Itâs time to heal.
[lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-
DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS POST??? IM IN LAW SCHOOL THIS POST IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE
reblog to ruin a law studentâs life
oh hello youâve returned to us
Hi. Iâm a trial attorney now and every last one of you is a motherfucker.
The summer between the end of high school and the start of college, I wrote a ridiculous play about pirates and put on a staged reading with some friends at an amphitheatre at a local park before a small audience of friends and family. It was never published or staged again. But I just got a message from an old high school friend I havenât seen in years. He accidentally quoted the play in a conversation with friends, was asked what he was quoting, he couldnât remember either, and wracked his brain until he finally remembered it was that silly play reading that we did one day in the park over 10 years ago. It made me happy. (The line was, âHuzzah for mercantilism!â by the way.)
A very tiny percentage of creators go on to be famous, but that doesnât mean that people donât remember little things you did for years and years. Who came up with most of the worldâs most famous jump rope rhymes? Who coined some of the famous idioms we use in daily speech? Who made up âJingle Bells, Batman Smells?â Somehow, all of these things stuck and spread around.
When I was a small child, I saw a high school put on a production of the musical HONK. In one song, the mother duck describes various dangers that her baby should avoid in the water, including fishing line, which could strangle him. A member of the ensemble played the role of fishing line, doing a maniacal laugh and over-the-top strangling motions, and I found it hilariousâ and to this day, thatâs an example I often think of when talking about how ensemble members can still stand out in theatre. The guy who played the role might not even remember that he did that, but I do.
I took Suzuki violin lessons as a kid. The teacher made up lyrics to some of the songs, and she let her students make some up, too. Now whenever I hear the instrumental of one of those pieces, I always remember these ridiculous lyrics about a skunk that we sang in violin class. I donât even know which student invented them!
In middle school, I found a video about atoms parodying Bill Nye made by some kids for a school product. It probably had less than 1,000 views, but I think of quotes from that video all the time. They had a parody of âWe Will Rock Youâ with the chorus, âProtons, neutrons, electronsâ that I think about a lot.
I just love that this is part of human life. Our memories donât just pick up quotes from great art, literature, and music, but little things, too.
file -> phrases that are going to shift something in me forever

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