dissociated

me: 

Can you imagine something more painful than your child’s heart breaking because they trusted you?

Can you imagine anything more horrible than your own child sobbing and crying themselves to sleep because of something you did to them?

Can you imagine anything more damaging than your child flinching whenever someone makes a fast movement because of how you beat them?

Can you imagine anything more heartbreaking than your child hiding from you because they know you will hurt them?

Can you imagine anything more cruel than your child hating themselves because you taught them there’s nothing to love in them?

Can you imagine anything as abominable as your child scared and suffering and not even thinking to ask for your help because they know you would tell them it’s their fault and hurt them worse?

Can you imagine anything as hateful as your child hiding every bit of themselves because of the shame you forced them to feel?

Can you imagine anything as tragic as your child knowing deep inside they will never be good enough for anyone because they’ve never been good enough for you?

And it gets worse. You remember more trauma. You remember more of the hell they put you through. You wonder how they still think they did nothing wrong?