TW: for graphic depictions of sexual assault.
ive thought about this for quite some time if i should come out or not, but im not afraid anymore and this needs to be said.
October 22nd 2024, roughly around 11:30 at night, i woke up to my pants completely off with a friend who i trusted at the time physically ontop and inside me.
Baylen Atkinson- @baylen - is the person who assaulted and took advantage of my unconscious body. Upon waking up my body went into a protective mode and froze, unable to process what exactly was happening to me. without letting up, i was asked if they could continue, which at this point, my brain was telling me to get it over with, tears in my eyes and completely still. i was then told" "im sorry but i couldnt decide if i should continue jerking off to your body or just take what i wanted and c*m inside you". eventually i was able to use my voice and tell them to stop, immediately going into panic and trying to comprehend what happened.
my body's response to trauma is to freeze and that's exactly how i responded in this situation. i was completely out of it, feeling my body dissociate while baylen began to freak out about what happened. at one point they told me: "i practically raped you" and i was too out of it to fully respond to this statement, but they were 100% correct. i *was* raped.
not too long after i decided to cut contact with them, i received a text message, as seen below which shows baylen apologizing for the "horrendous action" i.e rape
i have been in denial, feeling guilt, and like i asked for this to happen to me. but now ive come to terms that i was raped and that was never my fault.
