Just wanna stop feeling so fuckin sad
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@trashandflash
Just wanna stop feeling so fuckin sad

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Craving comfort but feeling guilty when you actually receive it is such a confusing kind of pain.
Because a part of you wants softness so badly. You want reassurance. Understanding. Someone being gentle with you for once. You want to feel emotionally held instead of constantly carrying everything alone.
But the second someone does care about you, another feeling appears almost immediately.
Guilt.
Suddenly you feel like you are being dramatic. Too emotional. Too needy. Too dependent. Like you are taking up too much space just by needing comfort in the first place.
So instead of fully relaxing into being cared for, you start apologizing. Downplaying your feelings. Pulling away. Acting “fine” too quickly because vulnerability starts feeling embarrassing once someone actually sees it.
And honestly, a lot of people learn this guilt somewhere.
Sometimes from growing up feeling like your emotions were inconvenient. Sometimes from being comforted inconsistently. Sometimes from only receiving care when things became severe enough to “deserve” it. Sometimes from being treated like a burden for needing support at all.
So now even kindness can feel emotionally unsafe.
Not because you do not want it, but because part of you still believes needing comfort makes you difficult to love.
But human beings are meant to need each other sometimes.
Wanting reassurance does not make you manipulative.
Wanting gentleness does not make you weak.
Wanting someone to care when you are hurting does not make you “too much.”
And I hope one day comfort stops feeling like something you have to apologize for receiving.
I hope one day you let people hold your feelings gently without immediately trying to shrink yourself afterward.
You deserve softness too. Not only when you are easy, useful, independent, or perfectly okay.
Just as you are 🤍
aaaaaaand i'm spiralling again.
Well I fucked up my morning for no good reason and now I feel like an asshole 😞
I would just like a day where my nervous system isn’t on high alert or fight or flight.
Because the only way I can get that right now is to be asleep. And all I want to do is sleep.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is continue your life while your heart is still heavy.
"Wear your scars with pride. They are the proof that you were stronger than whatever tried to destroy you."
Maybe I need a deeper sleep, where memories still feel true, where the silence doesn't hurt so much and I don't wake missing you.
maybe © All Rights Reserved — Jai
When you reach such a high level of sadness that instead of crying you just sit and stare into nothingness.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
A part of me is missing
unfortunately my nervous system can’t tell the difference between being suddenly abandoned and waiting for a text back.
touching myself and thinking about you

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming