Trash

Tossing and turning for maybe the fiftieth time tonight, you kick your legs out in frustration. No matter how hard you tried to drift off, you were damned to stay awake.

You had thought that you were finally able to move past the many nights of dread and loneliness, knowing the man you once shared a bed with was irrevocably gone, but even with time, the hollow feeling of loss lingered.

Hero, traitor, murderer, and saviour at the very end, Hal left you and your image of him a mess of broken shards.

The only thing you could do was continue on without him, trying to bury the painful memories. But despite your best efforts, his presence continued to haunt you. Phantom touches grazing your face and illusions of him at every corner, he existed in your life as a ghost; cruel and unreachable.

Shaking your head, you slap a hand against your eyes, already aware sleep was a losing battle now that he’s evaded your mind.

“Hal…”

A murmur of his name leaves you, whether as a curse or evocation, you’re not sure, but the urge to call out for him emerged from somewhere deep into your chest.

You just hadn’t expected anyone to respond.

The syllables of your name intoned by a husky voice had you jolting up, searching the darkness of your room only to be met with a green clad figure, pale skin glowing.

A…woman?

You feel a small twinge of relief for a moment before reaffirming a home invader is in fact a home invader.

“Uh, could you…go?” You request.

That had you wincing in embarrassment.

She calls your name again, an amused cadence in her words, “You always have been nicer to ladies than men…”

You stare at her for a moment longer, observing her more closely. The way she said your name, familiar and slow, but not new. The longing but hesitant posture now more clear.

“Hal?”

She remains silent before moving closer, her presence heavy, but not unpleasant. Not unfamiliar.

“I didn’t think you would recognize me like this…”

“Aren’t you supposed to be dead?” You ask, accepting this was a dream, one where Hal appeared to you as a ghost lady. You didn’t want to think about what that says about your current state.

“I was, but then I was reborn again, as Spectre, arbitrator of retribution and vengeance,” she explains simply, as if you two were discussing groceries.

“So, that transitioned you into a woman?” You tilt your head, trying not to overtly stare at your dead lover’s chest.

She laughs, “I am an aspect of Hal Jordan. I embody the female energy that resides in his mind, heart, and spirit, in the same way it does for every individual.”

“Bet Oliver would pay to see this…” you trail off before startling, “Aspect? So, if you’re just one part of him, where’s…the whole Hal? Why hasn’t he come? Not that I mind you being here…!”

“He comes, every night really, watching you from afar, no matter how much it continues to pain him,” the spectre responds, weight now resting on your bed as she brings a hand to caress your face. It was surprisingly warm. Real.

“So, he gets to see me whenever he wants, but won’t even allow me to catch a glimpse of him, to know that he’s here?” You feel a stinging sensation in your eyes. How many more tears do you have to shed for him to return?

“I’m— he’s guilty. He doesn’t feel like he should subject you to anymore heartbreak.”

“He doesn’t get to decide that!” You retort hotly, “No, I shouldn’t take it out on you…or maybe I should?”

“I don’t mean to confuse you, I was selfish coming here knowing he was too preoccupied to visit tonight. I should leave you to finally rest.” The weight on your mattress shifts as she moves away, and in a panic you clumsily grab at her, frantically trying to make her stay.

She pauses. You stiffen.

You slowly remove your hands from Hal’s breasts.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, it’s nothing you haven’t already felt…in another form, I suppose.”

“It just happened—“

“If you so desired, I’d be more than happy to let you explore me more thoroughly.” At that moment, you realized she really was all Hal.

You stutter for a moment, before resolutely reaching out to grasp her hand, smaller and more lithe than the larger ones you remember. But being able to touch Hal again, even if this was all just some fever dream, was something you’d always be grateful for, you realize.

She shifts closer, hands firmly moving you to rest on your back as she settles atop of you, her ghostly complexion and familiar green mask staring back at you, black lips twitching for a second before they meet yours. You grip her shoulders, desperately trying to get her closer as she devours you with a hunger you haven’t felt in ages.

Hal, Hal, Hal—

The fact a kiss was enough to have you feeling like this would have had Hal more than smug, but it seemed like she was just as starved of contact as you.

“I missed you,” she whispers, heavily, “This whole time I never stopped thinking about you, wanting to show myself—“

She exhales before burying her face against your neck, mouthing at your flesh.

You grip on her tightens, willing this moment to last longer, until she declared that she, Hal, was going to stay.

But just as quickly as it started, she pulled away with an irked expression.

“To be jealous of your own self…men,” she mutters, thumb brushing a tear from under your eye before she kisses you again. You hadn’t realized you were crying.

“Every part, aspect, and fibre of Hal Jordan’s being loves you, always. Remember that,” she whispers against your lips before tracing a finger across your forehead, and you felt yourself slipping away no matter how hard you tried to keep your eyes open.

When you awoke the next morning, groggily pulling yourself out of bed into the washroom, you screamed, noticing the red mark on your neck.

It wasn’t a dream…!

FIRST TO WRITE FOR FEM SPECTRE X READER!! I’m no coward (the same cannot be said for dc)!!

Edit: I did not realize it was Yuri Day😂