we did it mate :)

2nd day of @tf2rarepairevents : Spicy | Savory | Sweet

a bit late, but this one got away from me OTL

BATTLE WHEELCHAIR RAHHH

idk if I got "Virgil has thermal vision" from somewhere but I like thinking that's why he is Like That - I kind of did want to write it not just as a strength but an impairment too. anyway. hyper specific art.

Tavish ignores the voice, but it continues, that little nudge on the weakest part of the barrier around his mind. “Jus’ slide my blade through all that mushy stuff between his ribs, wouldn’t that be nice? Hear him gurgle, watch my tip come out shining red on the other side—“

“Eyelander,” Tavish firmly announces, defiantly licking his finger to turn a page because he’s sure Eyelander can damn well see it even though she’s five feet away on the floor. “Can a man nae sit down five bloody seconds before ye have to go start with this shite?”

There’s the ghostly equivalent of a heaving sigh, that Tavish almost feels across the back of his neck. “You haven’t taken me out in so long, Tavvy.” Two coughs, and a pathetic, rasping gasp, and Tavish starts wondering where he could find a big hammer and, just theoretically, really go to town on a, in this hypothetical, long thin piece of metal that thinks it’s a lot funnier than it is. “I’m practically dying. I dunno how much longer I can go on like this.”

“I was cuttin’ heads with ye four hours ago, you dull, butterknife, ugly, hackit, numpty fuckin’ butterknife.”

“You said butterknife twice.”

Tavish harrumphs, and says no more.

“Please, Tavvy. It would be so fun. Don’t you love mindless bloodshed? It used to be your favorite. Just think how fun it’d be. Doesn’t even have to be Scout, you know. What about Engie? He keeps pissing you off. You know between you and me I saw Sniper using your toothbrush since he couldn’t find his and if you had to ask my opinion—“

“I’m nae gonna stab somebody—what if I gave you a burrito, would that shut ye big barmy mouth?”

“… I can compromise.”

Tavish breathes a sigh of relief—that leftover half a burrito in the kitchen fridge has been sounding pretty good for a while now, and he supposes this is two birds with one stone. “Why don’t ye just ask for the burrito? It’s gotta be easier.”

“Killing’s just a little tiny bit tastier. I’ve got a good head for business, I know what I’m doing.”

Tavish puts down his book—he already knew that was a lost endeavor before he started, to be honest, and he quickly leans over and wraps his fingers around the hilt—and he feels something snap in his head as something other than him pushes through that barrier around his mind, forcing its way into his limbs, filling his veins like antifreeze, and all of a sudden he’s standing up as somebody else starts working his muscles and tendons.

A deep breath and he fights his way back into control, movements becoming impulses as all of a sudden he’s thinking for two.

Never gets old, comes a voice that’s now in his head, snickers cascading down his spine. Don’t suppose I can convince you to slam your foot in the door a few times?

“You’re already pushing yer luck—"

And all of a sudden his leg kicks to the side, hard, and the front of his foot hits the corner of a dresser and he yelps as a bolt of pain fires up his legs and his head’s filled with whoops and hollers. WOAH MAMA! That was a good one!

Tavish hisses: “You’re goin’ fucking back."

Sorry I’m sorry look I’m being so good now. And just like that, the other presence moves to the back of his head, receding from his limbs.