Translink

1. Do you like Translink? This page seems to exist just to complain about them

Yeah! A lot, actually. But there are some weird things about the public transport service in NI that need to be made fun of: such as the fact that almost every bus in Belfast has to go through the city centre, making relatively short East-West journeys (like Stranmillis to Finaghy) take ridiculously long.

2. Is this an urbanism blog?

No. Yes. A little?

3. This blog mostly talks about Belfast: why?

Because I live in Belfast.

4. Why does Translink have she/her pronouns?

Because the woman who runs this blog has she/her pronouns. Not for nothing, she's also trans: which feels fitting.

5. Where is my bus?

Up a tree.

6. Where is my train?

Up the same tree as the bus.

7. Where is the Glider?

Customers will now have to fill out a survey, take a three-hour interview (while handcuffed), and promise to (re)name their first born child after the interviewer before being reunited with their item. That is, after they correctly select it from one of three boxes, the others of which contain snakes. We feel that this is the best way to make sure that customers understand the value of their item, and of their continued loyalty to our company.

To apply, please go to your nearest station and talk to the conductor. They will then inspect your Spotify search history and ask you to sing the chorus of one (1) Chappell Roan song (not Good Luck, Babe!). Please remember that if you get any of the words wrong you will have the words "fake gay" tattooed into your forehead and be banned from our services until July!

Better. Connected.

Don't worry! We'll soon be giving all of the ticket collectors helpful "revenue protection weapons", including knives, machetes, and concealed firearms in order ensure sure that you never forget your ticket again!