Trans/Enby Confessions

Cw: bottom dysphoria

whenever I think of my younger self, I always subconsciously call them “the flower child”.

I didn't have this problem before, but I started to get those annoying impulsive thoughts to misgender people... It's like another voice in my head speaking over mine each time a gendered language appears. I even misgender myself, and I would understand if it was only me, because I have to do it around my family anyway. But other people? I'm kind of afraid I'll misgender them out loud one day. Like wtf, if I could control it, I would never do that

Sometimes I touch my chest and it just feels… weird? Like it’s there, attached to my body, but it doesn’t feel mine like touching my arm does. I’m currently in a low dysphoria phase (fluctuating dysphoria team let’s go) and this kind of dysphoria is quite unfamiliar to me because during mid/high dysphoria phases so much as brushing against mg chest sends alarm bells ringing in my brain. I have heard it happening to other people though

Gender is fake, do what makes you happy.

I need to be a stereotypical frat boy (but in a nice, respectful way) and I’m actually stupidly upset that that will never be a thing for me

I'm a nonbinary adult, AFAB, living with my sister and Grandmother. Whenever I hear people talk about me it's always "she, her, ma'am". My sister is the only one in my family who knows and respects my identity; my grandmother doesn't know even though she is accepting of queer people of every flavour we have discussed, even accepting my sister's and my own sexualities, whereas my parents are more conservative. My mom acts like my identity is an insult or a result of her not raising my sister and I right, whereas my dad straight up said my identity is wrong and grammatically invalid (speaking to an English major that's bullcrap). My friends accept me, but they're so far away that their affection feels distant compared to my parents knowingly invalidating me and my job and grandmother unknowingly doing so. I wish that it was more accepted to be nonbinary, to have people accept that being outside boy/girl wasn't a disease or fad or lie created by the media, as it hurts every time to hear my dad say "girlie" like he has since I was a kid, or "ma'am" when I'm working with customers, or "she" when I'm in the same room as most of my family members.

I used to be anti neopronouns, and I thought they/them was just the better of the two options...

I wish i knew more trans women like me. Well, I want to know more trans women in general, but I wish i knew more poc trans women like me. I'm Puerto Rican, but grew up stateside to an incredibly americanized family. I don't fit in with other boricuas well. I don't even speak Spanish even though I grew up with it. White people tend to assume I'm white too, and even though other latinos recognize me as latina it's still hard to fit in. The most boricua thing about me is my hair and the way I say the word "pastelillo", it seems. By being transgender as well, it means I've never met anyone I truly fit in with or seems to be like me. It almost seems like every transfem ever is white, and it's hard to talk to them about poc things. I can't even enjoy picrews bc so many cater exclusively to white people by not including darker skin tones or curly hair. Most of the time, they don't look like me. They look like me IF I was white. Yet I'm not sure if I'll belong with other latinos either considering how yanqui i am. I've been called a gringa before by internet latinoamericanos, and who knows what else they would've called me if they knew I was trans.

I love being trans I love being a tranny I love my tranny body I love my dick I love my tits being trans isn't a problem other people are a problem.

I am russian and not so long ago a transphobic bill was passed in my country that bans trans people from any kind of transitioning, it means that as long as I'm here I won't be able to start hrt, change gender markers in my documents or get any kind of gender affirming surgery.

I looked through my old art and I found out a reference sheet for a character that was my OC for some time-

I thought Xenogender/Neogender wore just made up for attention or by the mentally ill.

I used to not understand how someone could be trans without dysphoria.

i wish i wasnt fucking dysphoric dude oh my god. one of the most frustrating things about the space of trans ppl i exist in on the internet (tumblr specifically) is that theres this weird implied idea that if youre dysphoric you Simply Shouldn't Be. like sorry but saying "just be a man with boobs!" to me is like saying "just stop being depressed!"

How do you start researching surgery? I really think I want a meta but I have no idea how to start looking, what to avoid, ext.

Cw: nsfw content mention