Parsley Partridge RP

“I wonder if the stupid Christians are finally going to apologise for copying and stealing Yule from us?”

{!!} – ❝Christians? APOLOGISE???❞ Parsley threw his head back with vociferous laughter, his hand clutching his belly as the raucous of maniacal laughs would’ve rung unpleasantly through her ears, ❝Right, right, and - ummmm, I’m datin’ Britney Spears!❞ he guffawed, eyes wide with ebullience as he jittered about the space like a roach on cocaine.

     “It was just some assholes… They aren’t worth it.” David mumbled, wiping away the damp mixture of tears && blood across his cheek. The rest of his wounds could wait, his priority was not looking like such a damn wreck. After the night he had, he just wanted to focus on anything beside’s what happened to him. “Gotta remember next time, not everyone around here approves of homosexuality. Leave it, I’m fine.”

“Are you breaking up with me?” “Are you having nightmares again?” “Anything you want to say?” “Apparently, I need to grow a mustache.” “Balloons? Really?” “Be quiet!” “But what if we get caught?” “Can you not?” “Care to tell me what’s going on?” “Come find me.” “Did you even love me?” “Did you ever stop to think about how I feel?” “Don’t look at me like that.” “Don’t touch me.” “Do you love him/her?” “Do you love me?” “Everyone leaves.” “Eviction notice. It’s an eviction notice.“  “Fine, I’ll go.” “Finally!” “Fight me for it.” “Fuck it.” “Get away from me.” “Gotcha!” “How high are you?” “How did you get here?” “I bought a goat.” “If what we had was real, how could you be fine?” “I get that you wanted to come up with the plan, but your plan is stupid.” “I hate you.” “I’ll bet you a dollar.” “I said that I’m in love with you.” “I think I’m pregnant.” “I’m going to kill you.” “I’m not eating that.” “Is that a chicken?” “It’s not that I think your cooking is bad! It’s just … Not that good.” “Jokes on me, huh?” “Just friends?” “Just let me go.” “Just tell me the truth!“  “Kiss me.” “Kicking someone is not a form of romance.” “Let me explain.” “Listen, it was a completely innocent gesture.” “Maybe you should go.” “Maybe fuck you will be our always.” “May need you to bail me out of jail.” “Miss you.” “No. The answer is no.” “Not drunk enough for this.” “Never, ever doing that again.” “Okay, I know this looks bad…” “Please don’t.” “Please stop talking.” “Personally, I’d rather make out with a cactus.” “Quick, I need you to bring me a bottle of bleach.” “Quiet! Someone’s going to hear.” “Quit being annoying.” “Really, where were you?” “Right. Of course it’s my fault.” “Silly of me to think you actually cared.” “Simple? Brushing my teeth is simple. This? This is not simple.” “So… How’s the weather?” “Tell me you didn’t steal someones dog.” “There’s something wrong with you.” “This definitely isn’t what it looks like.” “Us? There is no us.” “Unable to process the stupidity of what you just said. Sorry.” “Unfortunately, she/he said no.“  “Very cute.” “We can’t do this.” “Was it just a lie?” “Wait, what did you just say?” “Wait! Hold on!“  “Who the hell is passed out in the driveway?” “What the hell?” “Why are you naked?” “Why is there silly string everywhere?” “Why is there a frozen turkey in the bathtub?“  “Without you, I’m lost.” “X-Rays? What the hell did you do and why didn’t you tell me?” “You broke up with me. There’s nothing left between us anymore.” “You’re leaving? But it’s taco night…” “Zebras have nothing to do with this conversation.” “Zelda is more important right now.“ 

❝Yeah - ‘t is, so you wanna be careful ‘round ‘ere, love! Lots’a trouble at night!❞ Parsley cautioned as he nodded towards the opposite side of the road, two drunkards already scrapping in what was left of the daylight.

“Who…. What are you?” Robert asked and raised her eyebrow.