& ─ trainwreck

“don’t tell me!” he stood behind her intentionally. his favorite resident! (neither confirming or denying this fact if anyone asked). “you’ve finally let martinez and altman down easy and are ready to confess your love for ortho?” a man could dream. he beamed once she turned. “how’s it goin’ thompson?” 

heart in throat. or was it stomach? heart somewhere it wasn’t supposed to be. it thumped in his chest. it was so loud it disguised the thumps on her door.  cool it, matthews. the way he’d left. more than unfair. it was lucy he thought about the most in new mexico. she’d deserve an explanation at the least. the very least. he knocked away on her apartment door. don’t ambush her in the hospital. he had thought. his heart fell back into place once the breeze of the door opening hit him. “hey luce.” 

dude, don’t jump in. you aren’t back at work yet. “hey there!” standing on the sidelines was not working for him. a crowded emergency room and a young woman with two children? ‘course he was gonna hop in. he was still a doctor. “i’m doctor matthews, my friends call me garrett. i’m not your doc, but it looked like this little guy had a pretty good bump on his head. thought i could help ‘til the pediatrician gets to ya.” he gave amber a smile. “may i?” 

back in the saddle again! or back in seattle again? doesn’t matter. garrett was back at the hospital, but he wasn’t officially back at work. don’t laugh! the guy’s teaching. yet a smirk ensued. “they stop teachin’ the basic suture? geez, this place has really gone to hell since i left.” he gave a chuckle. 

cuttin’ back on drinking was a change. less drinking, more talking. the healthier way to cope. who knew, right? a club soda in hand, garrett couldn’t resist visiting his favorite watering hole. he had a lot to catch up on. “tempting offer there grey!” garrett flashed a smile her way. “think i’m stickin’ with the club soda tonight. do i strike you as the fruity kinda guy? always thought i gave off more of a margarita vibe myself.”

“we have an early bird special.” what was she talking about? bella untucked her hair from the back of her shirt, combing through with her fingers. “that bad, yeah?” sibling drama. yuck. better or worse than the parental kind?  “i’ve got a spare parent if you wanna give it a go.” bella smirked. she began to stuff the ends of her shirt into her pants. “ah, i’m sure you do.” her head shook. "i don’t discriminate on teams. for work, it’s hr. you’re not a doctor, so what’s your story?”

“pretty sure i got the worst of it.” wasn’t a great evening. top 10 worst list no doubt. lilith could be thankful for that. bella gripped the counter. head hung down. “why’d you want brownie points from me? i meant my mother you dolt.” there’s that little temper! bella took a deep breath in. “exactly why i thought you would’ve said somethin’. unless you’re trying to get away from her. no arguments from me.”

“tell me you’re the kinda person who secretly knows how to commit a crime without leaving a trace.” good people to have on your side, bad ones to have as enemies. “i’m keepin’ that in mind.” for no reason. bella laughed. “okay gilmore. you win. i’ll keep my eyes open. ‘case there’s a hospital heist. now i kinda wanna watch ocean’s eleven.” this conversation had a lot of influence. bella ordered what she wanted and some options for rory to try. expand the palate. “gotta think outside the bun!” or whatever the slogan was. “if it’s good, you’ll never let me buy you lunch again? oh no. whatever will i do?” 

she felt like a little kid again. bella wanted to stomp off, slam the door shut to her room, and crank the christina aguilera. adulthood sucked. “can we forgot about it? it’s over. i’m not trying to talk to her again. ever, ‘kay?” had to be good enough. no talking would be a gift to both of them. celeste invited her, she couldn’t deny it. they weren’t close enough for that. if bella hadn’t screwed up her own deal, she wouldn’t even be here. say hello again to guilt. anger mixed with guilt. not the kinda cocktail she planned on this evening. “could’ve fooled me. all we do is yell, mom.” yeah, she let a mom slip. it showed that was what she wanted to call her mother. had to count for something, even though she wasn’t being very forgiving in this back and forth. “i yell at you. you yell at me. dad yells at you. you yell at dad. you yell at me. the cycle hasn’t changed since i was wearing footie pajamas. this. this is why i told you no! living like this would make me insane.” hello, bella! this is already how you’re living. she looked at the ground. bella wasn’t supposed to say that to celeste. she knew it was true, but she never planned on saying it. out loud was different. her eyes avoided looking at her mother completely as she figured out whether crying or screaming was a better response. or running away. zip on out the door without looking back. “you don’t have to. i get it, a mother’s love, blah blah. i don’t know, maybe you do love me, but do you even like me?” she couldn’t listen to it when she didn’t feel it. “dad told me.” she crossed her arms. no eye contact. bella couldn‘t. “he told me you didn’t want me. how he had to convince you to have me. well, pressure’s off. you don’t have to try so hard at the mother deal. you never wanted to do it, so i’m releasing you.” that hurt.

he looked like the definition of not having a good time. squirmy (if that was a word). with a buttoned front, bella’s arms fell to her sides. “you’re safe now. two completely clothed people.” she chuckled. this wasn’t on the list of goals for today: make a grown man uncomfortable with her body. bella turned around to find her bag and other belongings. she really was a mess. “big guns was all me. regretfully. i’ll take the L there.” not even she could defend it. “i get it, you’re not one of those creepy docs. you don’t drive a white van. love to hear it.” she bent over to pick something up from under the bed. “hope your girlfriend gets a better reaction than this. you kinda look like you just saw something unspeakable.” and a smirk followed.

“nothin’ exciting.” she gave a shrug. “i’m a new assistant in human resources. phones, emails, photocopies--every little fun thing you could think of.” bella laughed at her own expense. the job was what it was. getting that money. she frowned. “people suck.” she’d hit the door close button before. everyone did that! not when someone was running, though. not a total bitch. her teeth sank into her bottom lip. “you don’t look like a narcissist if it helps. you’ve got a much better vibe than that. good energy. i kinda grew up around doctors, so my pov is totally warped.”

love a little apathy in the morning. “easy for you to say. your shirt isn’t in your hands. please, be my guest.” she didn’t have to add the sarcasm, but c’mon. it was understandable. what closed door did people not knock at? a little tap. something! she stuffed her arm into one sleeve, then another. “before you pass out on me--think my phone’s still over ther.” she pointed to the bed. 

no one could say bella wasn’t making an impression. new employee, plenty of stories to tell. “know what? it’s fine.” she gestured with her hand and slipped it into the sleeve of the shirt. “least i’ve been working out lately.” couldn’t deny she looked good. “it was locked at one point. i like a little risk, but not that much.” her fingers started on the buttons. “you can come in, i’ll be outta your hair soon as i look like i could work in an office and didn’t just get dressed in one of these rooms.” 

“not the worst thing a guy’s ever called me.” could’ve been worse. bella followed it with a quick shrug. “this does have a name. usually go by bella, maybe bells. this doesn’t have the same ring.” her lips formed into a smirk, working the buttons on the top. she wasn’t convinced doctors only slept in these rooms. “mmm, is 24 hours long? i’m already learning so much. you a doctor in this place?” bella’s hands finished with the buttons on her shirt. “covered. you can stop freaking. unless you have an aversion to exposed ankles. guys are so predictable.” she chuckled. “guess to your point, i could’ve snuck into a hospital. always wanted to spend the night on vinyl mattress. everything i dreamed of.”

“mmkay, i can work with fun.” not as good as wild, but a vibe she could work with. “if i went to check it out, would i see you there?” there was no harm in bella asking. simple question. nothing more. bella laughed. “maybe they were really great moves. dance moves!” good save. “is there dancing at the wildrose?” she hated a stale bar. bella needed entertainment. “i like to think i leave an impression, but that’s ‘cause you haven’t.” her lips curled into a smile. “i’m working in human resources. very new here. i’m bella. and you...?” 

even correcting her in a farce. so annoying. bella’s eyes rolled. “i didn’t want her to know. not ’til I was ready.” or came up with an excuse. whichever was first. “‘cause i assumed she was coming to yell at me for it. what happened? you didn’t want the brownie points from ratting on me?” bella stepped in it anyway, but she wanted to know why.