☠︎︎Tragically Samcro❦︎

Jax’s thoughts:

“I can’t fuckin’ wait to get this girl home, take off her clothin’ piece by fuckin piece’ and fuck her so hard she’ll forget her own fuckin’ name”

“It’s been what…” he looks at his watch like the cocky fucker he’s always been. “Nearly two hours since you got here and you still haven’t found your way to come say hello…that’s pretty mean darlin’”

“That’s cause I’m not here for you” I reply with a smile dipped in venom, “I’m here for my brother” I take the drink Cherry slides across the bar, never breaking eye contact with Jax.

“Yeah?” He chuckles, shifting until he’s even closer to me. “Pretty sure you use that line every fuckin’ time you walk in here”

“Life’s not all about you Jackson”

“You sure about that darlin’?” He lets out a quite laugh scratching his beard “what are we at now? three…four years?”

“Yeah well…shits changed. I’m with someone”

“Mmmm, right…” he nods, “...and weren’t you with someone the last two times we did this?” That anticipated mischief glimmers at the tip of his tongue as he swipes it knowingly across his bottom lip. The beautiful bastard.

“Nah, I’m being foreal this time. It's serious...and I really like him” the lie immediately tastes sour on my tongue. There isn’t someone new. Never has been, I’m just trying my hardest not to let myself get dragged back into this toxic fucking mess.

His eyes flick over mine, “is that so?” His cocky facade slips for just a second, so quick I’m sure I fucking imagined it. But then I catch the twitch in his jaw, the one that only makes an appearance when he’s pissed at something, or trying hard not to be.

“Good for you” he drains the rest of his beer in one quick swig, setting the bottle down on the bar with a loud clang before turning and strolling out of the clubhouse doors without another fucking word.

“Love you too loser” I laugh, wrapping my arms around my older brother as the alcohol begins to hum through my veins. He smells like gin and a badly baked birthday cake as he leans in, placing a sloppy kiss to my cheek, smearing left over cake crumbs across my skin.

“Ew. Stop, get off me” I wriggle from him as we break into that uncomfortable burst of laughter like we’re 12 again, and not two grown adults standing in the middle of the samcro clubhouse.

My eyes wonder mid laugh to the back of the room, and I wish they fucking didn’t. Jax is tucked away in one of the corner booths, one arm slung across the back of the seat, and the other stroking that skanks hair. Ima, fucking hate that slut. Her fingers trace lazy shapes over the denim covering his inner thigh, and he’s fucking letting her do it.

His drunken eyes find mine the exact moment I notice her hand edge even closer to his zipper. The asshole doesn’t look away, no he holds the eye contact like he wants me to react. Don’t do it. Don’t. Do. It.

“Not on my birthday y/n” Juice mutters, his hands firm on my shoulder, facing me away from the beauty and the beast, Ima, being the beast. “You two pulled this shit last year”

“Dunno what you’re talking about”

My brother scoffs, always so dramatic. “Really?” He gestures across the room with his half finished bottle. “You two ever gonna admit you still love each other? Shits exhausting”

“Shut up asshole. You’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re talking about”

He laughs stepping back with both hands raised. “Shits old now, y/n” he raises his voice the further he gets away “move on with your life…or just fucking tell him” I just about hear him over the music.

I turn back to face Jax, I’m not backing down. Our eyes lock again instantly, probably cause he never took them off of me. Ima’s now tucked into the crook of his neck with her hand still resting too fucking comfortably on him. And Jax? He just looks at me like I’m spoiling his fun.

“How much do you really like him?” He mouths the fucking words. The cocky, arrogant fucking asshole, I swear to god I hate him.

The alcohol that was once humming through me, is now fucking fuming. My feet move without thought, weaving through bodies and tables. I walk straight past them at the booth, my brothers voice calling my name somewhere behind me. I don’t stop though, don’t even turn around, making my way into the hallway, the quietness like a breath of fresh air. The music fades behind me as I pass JT’s bike and head straight into Jax’s dorm. I slam the door shut - harder than I meant to, but fuck it - the smell of him hits me immediately and it only makes me even more pissed. I’m unsteady on my feet now, the drunk me here to stay. My hands sweep across the top of his drawers in one swift motion, sending everything scattered on top crashing to the floor. The sound of it all hitting the worn carpet, and breaking the lonely silence forcing a laugh out of me.

“The fuck are you doing!” His voice hits the room before he’s even stepped fully inside.

I don’t turn straight away, I stand in the same spot with my back to the door, eyes scanning over the mess I’ve made of his things, my chest still tight with rage. Then, to make matters worse, I hear her fucking voice. That high pitched whiny fucking voice.

“Whys she done that Jax?”

I finally turn to see him standing in the doorway, blocking most of it with his broad shoulders and eyes displaying pure fucking thunder. And behind him, like a lost fucking puppy, stands Ima. She opens her mouth again, fixing to say some more dumb shit but I don’t even give her the chance.

I lunge forward, raising my hand in the air, his hands shoot out clamping around my waist attempting to move me out of arms way. “y/n don’t-” too fucking late.

My hand meets her face nice and sharp. Jax shoves me back hard enough that I stumble straight onto the bed behind me, and at the same time he’s already turning back to Ima. She has one hand against my handprint and the other outstretched towards Jax, as if he's her saving grace. Like I knew he would, he shoves her hand away, pushing her back into the hallway and slamming the door shut in her face. And I’m sure I hear the lock catch.

“Why’d you always do this?” I demand, pushing myself upright on the bed.

He doesn’t answer, doesn’t even look at me. Instead, he crouches down silently, beginning to gather all of his things I'd thrown across the room. One by one he places them all back where they belong, acting as if I’m not even there.

“I’m talking to you”

Him ignoring me, feels like pouring petrol onto an open fucking fire. I know I probably look like a complete bitch right now, and maybe I am. But I swear to god there isn’t another person on this planet that gets under my skin as much as Jax Teller does. He makes me fucking insane.

I reach back, grabbing the nearest pillow and launch it at him. It knocks straight into the side of his head before dropping to the floor. He freezes. Then his shoulders rise slowly as he takes in the deepest of breaths. Fuck. There goes that twitchy jaw again, I follow his movements as he bends picking the pillow up and places it back on the bed with so much fucking restraint, which pisses me off so much fucking more. Then I watch as he trails around, removing his blade, his gun, then throwing his kutte onto the lone chair in the corner of the room. I push myself off the bed, slamming each hand down beside me “I fucking ha-”

“YOU HATE ME?” he finally cracks. “YOU HATE ME SO MUCH YOU COULDN’T STAND TO SEE SOMEONE ELSE NEXT TO ME AND HAD TO COME IN HERE AND FUCK UP MY SHIT?” He’s already got me pushed up against the back of the door, calloused hands framing my face.

“Fuck you” my lips barely move around the words.

“Fuck me?” He laughs like a maniac, letting go of my face and taking a step back. “Yeah that’s what you fuckin’ want isn’t it?” He punches an inch away from my face, splitting the faded poster of some random porn whore in two.

“You’re so full of shit Jackson” I scoff, peeling myself away from the door, my eyes rolling at the smear of blood he’s left behind.

“Yeah?” He lets out a laugh so bitter. “And you’re usually full of me right about now, but you’re actin’ brand new cause you got another man…again” he shakes his head like he’s disappointed in me. “Didn’t stop you needin’ me before though, did it?”

“I never needed anything from you” I spit, shoving him in his chest, the VP patch rough against my palm.

He storms straight at me with enough force that I stumble back a little but I plant my feet firm before he can knock me any further. “I almost believed you y/n…” the tip of his nose now touching mine. “…almost” he sighs, gathering himself to his usual height. “But it’s what we do right? Fuck and then run away from each other…you’re angry for a reason can’t you fuckin’ see that?”

My fists are clenched, nails denting little crescents into my flesh. “And what reason do you think that is you prick?”

His eyes move over my entire being so fucking slow. “Lover boy ain’t doin’ it right?” He taunts, that cruel fucking smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. “You missin’ somethin’ real?” He grabs himself through the denim, daring me to deny it. I almost moan at the sight of his cock becoming hard underneath the fabric. “So what, we gonna do this for the rest of our lives huh, sneakin’ and duckin’...fuckin’ on the low?”

“I-” he moves in closer again, stopping the words in my throat. He runs a bloodied hand across my cheek, marking me with his DNA.

“Why don’t you take what you want from me…take what you need from me” a faint tremor of his chin betrays him. “Take what you want… and go”

I give it to him, he’s fucking good. But I know him well, too fucking well. Him telling me to “go” is a load of bullshit, but if he wants to play that game…again, then fuck it I’m bout to join in.

I push at him, and this time the back of his knees buckle against the bed until he’s lying flat on his back, the mattress moulds to the shape of my knees as I climb over him like I’ve done a thousand times after saying I never would again. He grabs my face hard between his thumb and finger, pulling me down forcing my lips against his. Fuck, I’ve missed him. “I knew you couldn’t resist” he mumbles between our lips as I cherish the scent of his breath.

I break away, sitting up and hovering a lil above him as I begin to fumble with his belt buckle. “Always hated this fucking thing” I snap with frustration.

Jax hoists his hips up in response, knocking me off balance and dragging every piece of clothing he has off, waiting for me to do the same. When I do, he rolls on top of me, the weight of him presses me deep into the mattress, both of his hands pin mine above my head as he leaves wet, open mouthed kisses against my neck, the tip of his cock solid hard against my inner thigh.

“Fuck” I breathe, using my teeth to clamp my mouth shut again, not wanting to give him the fucking satisfaction of knowing how good he always makes me feel.

“What was that, huh baby?” He teases, cock twitching against my hole, silently asking for permission. He knows he doesn’t need it, he never fucking does.

“Shut the fuck up before I change my fucking…” my words dissolve into a moan as he thrusts every inch he has to give into me, stealing the rest of my sentence. My hands fly to his biceps, holding on tightly as I take pleasure in watching his face contort with euphoria.

“F…fuck baby” he moans, holding himself up on his palms, the chain around his neck dangling between us, hypnotising the fuck out of me. He lets out a shaky breath before our eyes meet again, “you were really gonna keep all this from me?”

“This is…the last…fucking time, Jackson” I pant, arching my hips off the bed as he hits that exact spot I fucking need him to. That dull ache, flickering in the pit of my stomach like an old lightbulb coming back to life, threatening to give out but flaring back again at the last second. And he knows all about that spot, he’s the only fucker who ever has. He moves himself to his forearms, angling himself until he lands just right again, and again, and again.

He keeps fucking into me like it’s the last fucking time. Maybe he thinks it will be, maybe it actually will be, but none of that matters, not right now, not in this moment.

He drags me up and towards him as we switch positions, the bed creaking beneath us. My body moves in perfect time with his, this dance we’ve done a hundred times before. Then I’m above him, sliding down gracefully onto his cock, like a queen to a throne.

He pulls me forward, locking one arm against my ass and his other grabbing at the back of my neck, dragging me in so close to his face he could probably inhale me if he tried. “When are you gonna get it through that…” his voice deepens, as he drives into me, punctuating each syllable. “Thick…” thrust. "Fucking..." thrust. “Skull…” thrust. “Of…” thrust. “Yours…” thrust. “…that nobody will ever fuck you like I do”

He lets go of me, and I rush to rise above him again. The slap that lands across his sweat glistened cheek is brutal, and I’m fucking proud if I must admit. His head snaps to the side, his perfect blonde locks spilling with the force of it, he exhales deeply through his teeth, eyebrows raising in surprise. Blood begins leaking from the corners of his mouth but he drags that talented tongue along slowly, tasting the aftermath.

“I was waitin’ for this part sweetheart” that sickly sweet grin creeps back into his face, teeth stained all red and eyes shimmering with delight, like I’ve given him exactly what he wanted. He pulls his hand back and lands the hottest slap against my ass before throwing me off him and forcing my face into the mattress, pushing my lower back down so I’m arched in his most favourite way, and slides in all the way home.

The moans I’m letting out need their own exorcism, fuck knows what the other guys are thinking if they can hear me. Shit, my brother. My arms stretch out in front of me, fingers digging into the linen sheets. One thing about Jax though, he doesn’t like to play fair. Not at all, he catches my arms, pinning them behind me with one hand, while he leans over me, the other smushing the back of my head deeper into the mattress. I’m fucking helpless, I can’t move and my screams are being swallowed, but it’s just how I like it. How we both like it.

His grip relaxes against the back of my head, before slowly wandering the length of my spine with his rough to the touch fingertips, tracing every dip and curve of my back as he presses his weight into me once more, reaching beneath me to manoeuvre his fingers through my folds with all the slickness he’s helped to create. “Fuck y/n” he grunts the words, “always so fuckin’ wet for me baby, you know that’s how I like it don’t you?”

“Yea-”

“Did I say you could talk yet baby girl?” He splays two fingers wide then clamps them both around my clit. “Matter of fact, I must not be fuckin’ you hard enough if you can still talk” I wince in pleasurable pain.

“You came here for your brother…” his hands trail lower, fingers ghosting against his own dick as he slides in and out of me. “But did you really think you’d leave here tonight without coming for me?”

I rise from my arched position, Jax still throbbing inside me as he holds me for balance. “Please…” I grind impatiently against him, I don’t care how pathetic I sound right now. “…make me cum Jackson… please” my breath catches in my throat as I struggle to keep still under his grasp.

I feel his wicked smile grow against the skin of my neck, as he kneads my tits, the flesh spilling out of his hands. “You still on the pill?” he rumbles, I just about manage an incoherent yes.

“Good.” He grunts, “cause if this is the last time…which I doubt it is, I’m fillin’ you up so god damn much you’ll be leakin’ me for weeks”

© GIFs & photos used are NOT my own, all sources & found on Pinterest, Tenor & Giphy. Credit to all original owners. | dividers by @/honeyluvsw | bow divider by me - please feel free to use x

xoxo secretlysamcro