Fun times ahead❣

she is refusing to help me get to any of my medical appointments (i cannot drive due to said conditions) in the meantime or even speak to me anymore (she is insane) and i am now currently attempting to swap out any medical appointments i can to go through either telehealth or a transportation service (i need to call my insurance. i am so tired.)

she has triangulated the entire family against me because once again, she Is abusive and none of them are willing to rock the boat with her or help me either, to the point where my aunts only offers have been to demand that i get a job (i tried this. the government literally deemed me unfit to work.) do inpatient or outpatient (this is not helpful. what i need is a permanent way OUT of this situation.) or look into homeless shelters (lol.) my uncle said in no short words that he "does not believe me and is not interested in supporting me because we have no family bond" (okay man) and my brother has gone so far as to actively lie to our (formerly) mutual friends telling them i have "more money than him and my mom combined" (???) and that i am "misrepresenting his mother and his relationship" by calling her abusive (????????)

so um. needless to say at this point that even IF she's bluffing (unlikely given how often she's been talking about this imo) then it's still clearly not safe for me to continue to stay here and keep putting myself at risk, especially since she has escalated to physical aggression within the last year. (her "husband" has done similar and has a noted temper as well. even if she only plans a temporary visit i find it extremely unlikely that he's going to "let" her come back to the states once she's there.)

i do have a plan still, though i am working out the kinks and have a LOT of phone calls to make and individuals to contact and i'm kind of fucking exhausted so i don't want to get into it right now. that said, i would Very Much Appreciate It if i could get some further help.

she is refusing to help me get to any of my medical appointments (i cannot drive due to said conditions) in the meantime or even speak to me anymore (she is insane) and i am now currently attempting to swap out any medical appointments i can to go through either telehealth or a transportation service (i need to call my insurance. i am so tired.)

she has triangulated the entire family against me because once again, she Is abusive and none of them are willing to rock the boat with her or help me either, to the point where my aunts only offers have been to demand that i get a job (i tried this. the government literally deemed me unfit to work.) do inpatient or outpatient (this is not helpful. what i need is a permanent way OUT of this situation.) or look into homeless shelters (lol.) my uncle said in no short words that he "does not believe me and is not interested in supporting me because we have no family bond" (okay man) and my brother has gone so far as to actively lie to our (formerly) mutual friends telling them i have "more money than him and my mom combined" (???) and that i am "misrepresenting his mother and his relationship" by calling her abusive (????????)

so um. needless to say at this point that even IF she's bluffing (unlikely given how often she's been talking about this imo) then it's still clearly not safe for me to continue to stay here and keep putting myself at risk, especially since she has escalated to physical aggression within the last year. (her "husband" has done similar and has a noted temper as well. even if she only plans a temporary visit i find it extremely unlikely that he's going to "let" her come back to the states once she's there.)

i do have a plan still, though i am working out the kinks and have a LOT of phone calls to make and individuals to contact and i'm kind of fucking exhausted so i don't want to get into it right now. that said, i would Very Much Appreciate It if i could get some further help.

bills are coming and i don't have enough to pay my part, i had to cancel the monthly neurologist appointment due to low money, and thus i am unable to refill my meds. please only give what you can ❤️‍🩹

i am severely disabled (again, POTS, chronic pain, chronic fatigue, narcolepsy, and still suspected lupus/def some sort of severe autoimmune issue if its not lupus, EDS, etc. and that is just the physical issues lol) and have basically been deeply fucking medically neglected my entire life. i do not currently have a job, and i will not be able to apply for SSI at the moment though i will be looking into that a THIRD time as soon as i am able to, assuming job placement once again does not work. the future is a bit iffy on all of that right now bc i'm gonna be upfront.

my entire family has essentially abandoned me. my aunt and uncle are not going to do a single thing to help me, my brother has essentially decided i'm dead weight, and my mother is escalating severely each day. she is currently, i shit you not. trying to force me to sign on a one bedroom apartment when the lease is up here this may and pay for rent ENTIRELY BY MYSELF (again. i do not have any sort of income. she knows this.) for the both of us so she can, and i quote. use her own paycheck to "pay off her credit card debt" and then "go back and forth between here and brazil" to hang out with her "husband" who is my age and got himself arrested (and sub sequentially, deported) over christmas via felony trespassing (that he WAS warned about from MULTIPLE PEOPLE) which did end up in my "mothers" hospitalization as a side note.

obviously this is not fucking viable. obviously i am not safe here, and never was. obviously when i told her that i am not fucking doing that, she told me she was just gonna fuck off to brazil totally on her own and leave me to be homeless, again. in her own words. my family does not give a fuck about any of this and has made it clear that they have 0 interest in helping me (or her, for that matter. though thats a lost cause to be fair.)

so, um. yeah x2. not great. please do not feel pressured or obligated to send anything if you cannot afford it. i am trying my best to get a plan together and save up what little i do have to be able to afford to stay with a friend in upstate new york or possibly chicago depending on how things play out, but time is kind of of the essence and theres only so much i can do on my own at the moment.

i am so sorry to everyone who's been kind of just like. watching this happen live and putting up with me freaking out over all of this at random as well but as you can imagine it is extremely nightmarish right now and the pain i'm dealing with from the stress of it all alone has made it very difficult for me to be present beyond handling a small amount of what Needs to be done immediately for me to get out of this. idk how else to put it but like. i really, really, REALLY do not want to die here right now.

i'm pretty severely chronically ill (narcolepsy, POTS, suspected lupus though if its not that then it def is SOME sort of severe autoimmune condition, fibromyalgia, EDS, etc) and am not currently employed, though i am working on that for what it's worth. but i am currently stuck in a severely dangerous home situation where my family has become extremely abusive (physically, mentally, emotionally, etc) and no amount of family therapy or effort on my part has worked to reduce this, which is making me sicker and is likely going to kill me sooner rather than later if the lupus thing is confirmed. in addition to that my extended family is lashing out in the same ways as well and has largely abandoned me despite offering aid previously.

and to top it off on all of that, my mother's "husband" (who is my age. and who she's known for all of a year, and has dated for even less time than that before getting married in secrecy behind all of ours backs to get him a green card while lying about his age and legal status. who is ALSO abusing me, of course.) has been arrested as of this morning, and is now on ICE hold and is likely going to be deported. he had our only car with him which has now been confiscated, and was the only person in our home who is (was...) currently employed which means we no longer have any income.

i have already been missing meals due to a lack of funds/nausea and struggling with the chronic pain that the stress of all of this has brought on, but it's ummmm. really bad now. i'm going to be looking into group home living on monday, and i will begin job training sometime in early january. but regardless of how things play out from there, i really do think it's imperative that i make some sort of effort to get even an ounce of stability and support going forwards.

so, um. please do not give anything if you can't afford to, i understand that times are tough for everyone right now and we're all struggling. and please don't feel bad if you aren't able to help either. but if you can do anything, even just reblogging this, i would very much appreciate it.

i'm pretty severely chronically ill (narcolepsy, POTS, suspected lupus though if its not that then it def is SOME sort of severe autoimmune condition, fibromyalgia, EDS, etc) and am not currently employed, though i am working on that for what it's worth. but i am currently stuck in a severely dangerous home situation where my family has become extremely abusive (physically, mentally, emotionally, etc) and no amount of family therapy or effort on my part has worked to reduce this, which is making me sicker and is likely going to kill me sooner rather than later if the lupus thing is confirmed. in addition to that my extended family is lashing out in the same ways as well and has largely abandoned me despite offering aid previously.

and to top it off on all of that, my mother's "husband" (who is my age. and who she's known for all of a year, and has dated for even less time than that before getting married in secrecy behind all of ours backs to get him a green card while lying about his age and legal status. who is ALSO abusing me, of course.) has been arrested as of this morning, and is now on ICE hold and is likely going to be deported. he had our only car with him which has now been confiscated, and was the only person in our home who is (was...) currently employed which means we no longer have any income.

i have already been missing meals due to a lack of funds/nausea and struggling with the chronic pain that the stress of all of this has brought on, but it's ummmm. really bad now. i'm going to be looking into group home living on monday, and i will begin job training sometime in early january. but regardless of how things play out from there, i really do think it's imperative that i make some sort of effort to get even an ounce of stability and support going forwards.

so, um. please do not give anything if you can't afford to, i understand that times are tough for everyone right now and we're all struggling. and please don't feel bad if you aren't able to help either. but if you can do anything, even just reblogging this, i would very much appreciate it.

we did get the car back. this is objectively good

he is being deported as of monday and we will no longer have any source of income, and again, i don't begin job training until january.

my mother is too busy having a meltdown to actually do anything helpful for anyone in the house, let alone herself, and is continuing to take it out on me

the stress from all of this Is making my health significantly worse

my mother gave herself pneumonia over this mess with her "husband" while refusing to take care of herself, and refused to call 911 instead forcing me to come into her room and use her phone (calling And texting me twice. to do so herself. btw.) while coughing all over me despite knowing i am immunocompromised. my family began pretending they knew anything about stress, health, and mental conditions for her specifically while coddling her and ignoring me, and are now refusing to speak to me again. i am home alone on christmas eve with very little "proper" food and no support at all.

i'm pretty severely chronically ill (narcolepsy, POTS, suspected lupus though if its not that then it def is SOME sort of severe autoimmune condition, fibromyalgia, EDS, etc) and am not currently employed, though i am working on that for what it's worth. but i am currently stuck in a severely dangerous home situation where my family has become extremely abusive (physically, mentally, emotionally, etc) and no amount of family therapy or effort on my part has worked to reduce this, which is making me sicker and is likely going to kill me sooner rather than later if the lupus thing is confirmed. in addition to that my extended family is lashing out in the same ways as well and has largely abandoned me despite offering aid previously.

and to top it off on all of that, my mother's "husband" (who is my age. and who she's known for all of a year, and has dated for even less time than that before getting married in secrecy behind all of ours backs to get him a green card while lying about his age and legal status. who is ALSO abusing me, of course.) has been arrested as of this morning, and is now on ICE hold and is likely going to be deported. he had our only car with him which has now been confiscated, and was the only person in our home who is (was...) currently employed which means we no longer have any income.

i have already been missing meals due to a lack of funds/nausea and struggling with the chronic pain that the stress of all of this has brought on, but it's ummmm. really bad now. i'm going to be looking into group home living on monday, and i will begin job training sometime in early january. but regardless of how things play out from there, i really do think it's imperative that i make some sort of effort to get even an ounce of stability and support going forwards.

so, um. please do not give anything if you can't afford to, i understand that times are tough for everyone right now and we're all struggling. and please don't feel bad if you aren't able to help either. but if you can do anything, even just reblogging this, i would very much appreciate it.

we did get the car back. this is objectively good

he is being deported as of monday and we will no longer have any source of income, and again, i don't begin job training until january.

my mother is too busy having a meltdown to actually do anything helpful for anyone in the house, let alone herself, and is continuing to take it out on me

the stress from all of this Is making my health significantly worse

my mother gave herself pneumonia over this mess with her "husband" while refusing to take care of herself, and refused to call 911 instead forcing me to come into her room and use her phone (calling And texting me twice. to do so herself. btw.) while coughing all over me despite knowing i am immunocompromised. my family began pretending they knew anything about stress, health, and mental conditions for her specifically while coddling her and ignoring me, and are now refusing to speak to me again. i am home alone on christmas eve with very little "proper" food and no support at all.

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