i'll be a better man today

❝   I   SEE  YOU’RE  JUST  AS  STUBBORN  AS  BEFORE  .   ❞

were  it  any  other  circumstance  ,  roche  would  have  perhaps  greeted  him  with  a  smile  ;  a  kiss  that  tasted  like  desperation  ,  overflowing  with passion  enough  to  fill  the  gaps  of  time  lost  to  …   whatever  this  was  .  biggs  isn’t  that  much  different  from  his  mother  nowadays  ───  someone  who  watched  them  grow  ,  watched  them  disappear  only  to  reappear  years  later  and  disappear  again  .  why  ?

leave  it  to  fear   and  shame  to  cast  a  veil  on  this  ugly  sight  ;  this  rapid  descent  into  madness  ;  this  crash  -  landing  into  demise  !  why  should  they  have  to  see  it  ?  why  should  they  have  to  feel  it  ?

❝   i  told  you  to  stay  away  from  me  .  why  won’t  you  listen  ?   ❞  he  finally  turns  ,  and  he  is  hands  grasping  at  the  fabric  of  biggs’  shirt  ,  brute  force  pinning  them  to  the  wall  of  a  dingy  wall  market  bar  .  naught  but  the  alley  and  the  night  and  the  hustle  and  bustle  outside  to  follow  the  silence  .  would  cruelty  drive  biggs  away  ?  would  this  callousness  ;  ugly  and  just  for  show  ?  

stay  .  please  stay  ,  he  wants  to  say  .  and  then  ,  the  mind  speaks:  swallow  your  heart  .  again  and  again  and  again  and  again  and  again  and  again  and   ──────────

@towardsbrightness​ 

MAYBE HE WAS STUBBORN, but seeing roche again even for a second got him thinking again. it got him feeling again. he wanted to hold onto that feeling again, he wanted to go back to those days-- was that so wrong? he wanted to feel like a child again. tomorrow he could lose it all and if this was his last day...he’d be content spending that here and now.

he was about to speak but then hands gripped at his shirt and then he was backed into a wall. a grunt slipped out, he assumed what roche was doing was trying to drive him away. but roche should know biggs, roche should know that it would talk much more than THIS to push him away.    “ y’know i’ve never been the type to listen. ”    

                      eyes drop and he just chuckles.