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"As the new fiscal year begins, Crazy:B experiences a sudden surge in work. Behind the scenes, there's a major craze centered around HiMERU and Kohaku, known as "PBB (Pastel Bee Brothers)," which causes the two of them to draw odd attention from the public…"
"Basically, what it comes down to is that HiMERU-han just wanted to 'play house' with me ♪"
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Season: Spring
Location: Abandoned Mine
Days after the "Ephemeral Festival." In an abandoned mine, deep in the mountains.
Rinne: "Emergency project! Chase Nagigon, the mythical giant creature!"
"So, here we are at the abandoned mine! Today, us Crazy:B are off in search of the legendary creature, Nagigon!"
Kohaku: Well now, that's an awfully familiar intro...
HiMERU: —It was so perfectly identical that HiMERU wondered if it was a rebroadcast. Every word was exactly the same.
Niki: Nahaha! Who'd have thought we'd be heading back up this mountain again~
If it's the same as last time, does that mean Ran-kun's already here, playing Nagigon?
HiMERU: Surely, the casting has changed from Ran-san. Last time, the reason was some half-hearted thing like the deputy director venting his frustrations...
Eden is hardly a unit meant for these kinds of low-quality productions.
Rinne: Well, surprise, surprise, Nagi's continuing in the role of Nagigon this time too.
Just like Merumeru said, it seems the deputy director was planning to switch actors, but Nagi refused to step down, insisting on doing it.
Apparently, he's been here way before us, already in place, ready to go for today's shoot.
Kohaku: Nagisa-han sure is fired up...
HiMERU: Just what exactly about Nagigon has stoked his enthusiasm to this extent...?
Rinne: From the moment the last one got axed, up until now, he's been thinking 'bout how to play Nagigon.
So Nagi strongly argued against it when the question of recasting came up.
Kohaku: Ah~ When ya put it like that, I kinda get it. It's like bein' suddenly kicked off a role in a drama you were already cast in, right?
Though I still don't get why we're even reshootin' this dumb show to begin with.
Rinne: Aren't you happy that we're back to doing jobs that feel like Crazy:B?
You said you love doing these ridiculous jobs and having fun with us, didn'tcha? ♪
Kohaku: ...Still, of all the jobs to accept after a long break as Crazy:B, this is it?
Niki: Well, hey. Isn't this just our style?
At least it's better than them throwing us off a cliff for bungee jumping or skydiving right off the bat.
Kohaku: Fair enough, I guess it's a good warm-up.
Alright, shall we begin the search for Nagigon—the artist formerly known as Nagisa-han? ♪
Niki: Nahaha ♪ Kohaku-chan, for all your grumbling, you seem pretty fired up!
Kohaku: Yeah. Like Rinne-han said earlier, doin' silly jobs like this is actually a nice change of pace.
When PBB was at its peak, I was buried in nonstop work for it.
And the usual Crazy:B gigs got shot down 'cause of complaints and whatnot.
The fact we're gettin' more jobs like this now means the Ephemeral Festival announcement must've gone over well.
HiMERU: Indeed. With the official announcement you and HiMERU made, the PBB craze is gradually winding down.
At the very least, one might say that the unusual fervor which was limiting Crazy:B's activities has now subsided.
Although, there are still some who refuse to accept the announcement as it is...
Rinne: Well, that's just the way it goes. Honestly, it's quieter than I expected, considering.
People are selfish creatures who only believe what suits 'em, anyway.
It's normal for trash rumors to fly around, like that the agency forced you two to stop, or that I threatened Merumeru and Kohaku-chan into saying what they did.
Niki: Saying you threatened them isn't exactly off the mark, though, is it? You kept messing with HiMERU-kun and Kohaku-chan to sabotage them.
Seriously, Rinne-kun, for being the oldest, you're the most childish!
Rinne: Maybe you're running your mouth 'cause it's been a while since you've had anything to eat, Niki? You sure you're not hungry?
Lucky for you, I brought somethin' special—a handful of wild mushrooms I found growing around here ♪ C'mon, open wide.
Niki: Uwaah, yaaay! Thankies~♪
Niki: ...Wait, no way! Keep 'em!
Don't just shove random wild mushrooms into my mouth! Get away from me~!
Kohaku: Look at 'em—runnin' around like a couple of kids. Just how old are they supposed to be again...?
HiMERU: In the first place, searching for Nagigon itself feels like something one might expect of bored elementary school children.
Kohaku: You ain't wrong. But y'know, I've learned somethin' important from all this. Bein' too popular ain't all it's cracked up to be.
When you first told me 'bout PBB, I didn't think it'd turn into such a huge deal.
HiMERU: —That said, Crazy:B has never before received such positive popularity.
Thanks to PBB, HiMERU and Oukawa's name recognition has increased significantly.
Since PBB is on indefinite hiatus, that boost won't last forever.
Therefore, while this recognition remains, HiMERU plans to make the most of it to expand his presence as an idol.
And eventually, he wants to broaden the scope of his activities to a global scale. And he plans to use Crazy:B to achieve that.
Kohaku: Koh koh koh, so that's HiMERU-han's big ambition ♪
—And it's for your little brother's sake too, ain't it?
HiMERU: ...So Oukawa and Shiina did overhear that much.
Kohaku: Sorry 'bout that. I get it ain't somethin' you want folks pokin' into too much.
But when I heard you were seein' me as a stand-in for your little brother, I couldn't just let it slide.
HiMERU: —No. Quite the opposite, Oukawa is completely without fault in that regard.
It's just that HiMERU was selfishly projecting him onto you...
Onto that adorable figure, innocently dreaming of being an idol, like a child trying so hard to be loved.
HiMERU: That might be why "I" sought out that pseudo-family life with you, Oukawa.
To happily work as an idol alongside my beloved little brother... Such a ridiculous fantasy.
Kohaku: ...I get it now. I finally understand why you specifically chose JoyLife outta all the jobs.
Basically, what it comes down to is that HiMERU-han just wanted to "play house" with me ♪
HiMERU: —That's technically correct, but being teased about it like that is extremely unpleasant.
Kohaku: Koh koh koh. Just consider it payback for draggin' me into this little family roleplay of yours.
But honestly, I'm glad. I feel like through this, I got to touch a bit of the true feelings you always keep hidden away ♪
HiMERU: —Oh? And what exactly do you suppose those true feelings are?
Apologizing to Oukawa aside, HiMERU hasn't necessarily been telling the truth about everything else?
Kohaku: There ain't no reason for you to deceive me at this point. Well, even then, it's up to me to decide what the truth is.
Like, what kinda feelings you got, bein' here with us right now...
Or why you look like you're havin' fun stickin' around, even for a dumb job like this...
I reckon it's 'cause you love our everyday lives together as Crazy:B, too.
At least, I'll take it upon myself to think of it that way ♪
HiMERU: —Fufu. For the time being, let's leave it at that...♪
"This is a special, one-night-only festival revelry. Let us dance the night away together ♪"
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Season: Spring
Location: Ephemeral Festival Stage
Rinne: "GYAHAHAHAHA! BIG! EX! PLOSION! ☆ You bastards went and threw yourselves a nice little festival without us, didn't ya?!"
"Crazy:B's like a swarm of bees, and worker bees who forget their duties? They're in for one hell of a sting to jolt 'em back to life! ♪"
Niki: Nahaha, though rather than a 'sting', it's more of a 'boooom'? If that doesn't wake you up, you're a real deep sleeper ♪
Kohaku: Cough... Cough?! What the hell're y'all doin', bustin' in here outta nowhere?!
Right when we had everythin' wrapped up all neat and tidy...
Rinne: I don't like you talking 'bout PBB like it was some warm, fuzzy memory!
Spouting crap like, "oh, workin' as PBB was so fun," or, "life with Merumeru wasn't half bad," with that satisfied look on your face.
You weren't really thinking sweet little thoughts like that, huh, Kohaku-chan?
If you were hoping to brush it all under the rug and tie everything together with a pretty ribbon, I'll rip that plan to shreds for ya!
Kohaku: Quit screwin' around—I'll knock ya clean out! Nobody asked ya to pull some crazy stunt like that!
Aghh... Thanks a lot, Rinne-han. There go all our honest appeals right down the drain.
Just look at HiMERU-han. He's been standin' there in shock, ain't said a word this whole time.
HiMERU: —No. It simply was becoming too much of a hassle, so HiMERU thought it best to remain silent and wait it out.
Kohaku: Wait it out? There ain't no way you can do that. This stage belongs to me and you, HiMERU-han.
HiMERU: Fufu, it was just a joke. If HiMERU doesn't at least make a joke out of it, he wouldn't be able to bear it.
Niki: HiMERU-kun, are you, like... pissed off for real now?
HiMERU: Haha, no, not at all. HiMERU is perfectly composed. After all, no professional idol would disgrace themselves on stage.
Kohaku: ...I'm pretty sure it's already too late for that.
HiMERU: Besides, this is Amagi we're talking about. Obviously, you didn't just barge in without giving it any thought, right?
Rinne: Uh, nah? I just didn't like that you guys were having your festival fun without me, so I showed up to ruin it for ya.
HiMERU: ...What.
Niki: Whoa, for real?! What's wrong with this guy?! Then what was with that cryptic attitude earlier?!
I always thought you were bad news, but I didn't think you were this far gone!
Rinne: Just so you know, you're part of the bad guys too, Niki. Don't forget it.
Niki: You're the one who forced me into this whole mess! So I'm innocent!
HiMERU: .........
Niki: Uuugh, HiMERU-kun's at a loss for words... I'm scared...
Rinne: C'mon, chill out, Merumeru. I'm a great idol too, y'know. I wasn't planning to just wreck the place and leave with all these fans watching.
Kohaku: It's already completely in shambles, though, ain't it?
Rinne: Hell, that kinda chaos is exactly what Crazy:B's all about ♪
Crazy:B was always meant to be a swarm of venomous bees, sneaking into a pristine flower garden just to screw shit up.
Basically, we're just here to stir up trouble at PBB's stage, carrying the bomb of internal strife among our group.
HiMERU: ...Hm. So, you didn't rush in thoughtlessly after all.
That said. It's been quite a while since you've hijacked another unit's performance...
Niki: Uh, so... what's this mean, exactly?
HiMERU: In short, Amagi intends to turn this stage into a Crazy:B show from here on out.
Kohaku: Then why the hell didn't ya say that from the get-go?! You didn't need to fire off a goddamn bazooka, dumbass!
Ugh... But then again... This is how Crazy:B's always been.
HiMERU: —It would be preferable to disagree, but Oukawa is right.
It seems that even HiMERU, after living a peaceful life as PBB, had begun to forget how much of a nuisance you all are.
But since PBB is going on hiatus after today, perhaps it's time he gets back in shape and remembers how to deal with these noisy bees.
Rinne: Gyahaha, now that's what I call Crazy:B's busy worker bee!
"Anyway. Kept you waiting, huh, folks! From this point on, it ain't PBB's show anymore—it's Crazy:B's time to shine!"
"'In Spring one sleeps, unaware of dawn.'[1] The dreamy air of early spring just makes you wanna sleep in—just like the wise folks of old used to say."
"All you suckers have been sinking deeper into your sweet PBB dream, but it's about time to wake up!"
"Evanescent dreams don't last till morning. And if there's any softie who wants to keep dreamin'..."
"We Crazy:B are here to sting you the hell awake ♪"
"♪~♪~♪"
Kohaku: "Koh koh koh. Remember this well, 'cause this is the Crazy:B I love."
"Sure, that peaceful time in PBB was nice and all, but I'd take doin' this kinda stupid shit with Crazy:B any day."
"They might be a buncha reckless jerks who hijack stages like this, but here with 'em—this is where I feel I truly belong."
Kohaku: "Now I'm fixin' to show everyone here just what makes Crazy:B so special, so y'all better brace yourselves!"
"♪~♪~♪"
Niki: "Nahaha! Kohaku-chan looks like he's having fun after all ♪"
"Maaan, when the whole venue went dead silent after that bazooka blast, I thought we were toast!"
"Oh well, I'll just go with the flow and hype up the crowd too~♪"
"♪~♪~♪"
HiMERU: "♪~♪~♪"
HiMERU: (Good grief. Everyone's just doing whatever they please. The detailed plan HiMERU crafted in advance is completely ruined.)
(Well, since that's broken beyond repair and they're making the stage more lively, there's no point dwelling on it.)
HiMERU: (Actually... "I" might have been hoping for this to happen, somewhere deep down.)
HiMERU: "—Well then, now that you've made a complete mess of things, you'd better make it worthwhile, Amagi, Shiina!"
"Everyone, Crazy:B's Ephemeral Festival is far from over."
"This is a special, one-night-only festival revelry. Let us dance the night away together ♪"
"♪~♪~♪"
[ ☆ ]
Rinne is quoting the poem Spring Dawn by Meng Haoran, one of the most celebrated Chinese poems in Japan. The opening line is a common saying, and interestingly, 春眠 is pronounced 'shunmin,' similar to how the story title would be pronounced 'shunsairei.'
"That is the true meaning behind this Ephemeral Festival—a performance of gratitude brought to you by HiMERU and Oukawa."
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Season: Spring
Location: Ephemeral Festival Stage
HiMERU: "♪~♪~♪"
Kohaku: "~...♪"
HiMERU: "—Everyone, HiMERU trusts you're all enjoying today's PBB Live?"
Kohaku: "Thank y'all kindly for comin' out to support this JoyLife pair ♪ Sure is excitin' to hype things up with so many folks here!"
"Ain't that right? HiMERU-han...♪"
HiMERU: "Yes, of course ♪"
Kohaku: Woah... There're shrill cheers echoin' through the whole venue.
(Whisper) I tried layin' it on thick with the fanservice, but they seem even happier than I figured.
HiMERU: PBB originally gained popularity from a rather niche fanbase, you know.
HiMERU thought being more blatant would appeal to them, and it seems like the effect was just as intended.
Kohaku: I ain't completely on board with PBB's direction, but it sure is nice seein' the fans so happy.
Anyway, the show's headin' into its final stretch. Ain't it about time we bring up the "main topic," HiMERU-han?
HiMERU: Yes, that's right... Are you ready?
Kohaku: I've been ready from the moment I stepped foot on stage.
It's okay. As long as I can be honest 'bout how I feel, that'll be enough.
HiMERU: "—Well then. It seems our time together is drawing to a close."
"We would like to make a very important announcement to all of you present."
"Following this Ephemeral Festival, PBB will be suspending its activities."
Kohaku: "We're real sorry to be givin' y'all such sad news after gettin' your hopes up so high..."
"But don't worry now—it ain't like we're retirin' from the idol business."
HiMERU: "Indeed. HiMERU and Oukawa will continue to stand on stage as idols."
"This is not a farewell, so please don't be too sad."
"—If that is the case, you might be wondering why PBB's activities are being suspended."
Kohaku: "Of course, it doesn't mean that we've come to hate PBB."
"And it surely ain't that workin' alongside HiMERU-han got tiresome, either. On the contrary, I actually had a lot of fun."
"All y'all who've been followin' us closely probably know that better than anyone, right?"
"But I—well, we—don't wanna be tied down to PBB alone."
"PBB was a cozy, laid-back space where I could relax and happily enjoy my time with HiMERU-han."
"But as an idol, I wanna tackle all sorts of new challenges."
"I don't wanna stay just with HiMERU-han. I wanna connect with all sorts of people, explore new places... and show y'all just how much Kohaku Oukawa can grow as an idol."
HiMERU: (—The crowd's chatter is starting to die down in response to Oukawa's appeal. It's all going as planned.)
(To put it simply, this Ephemeral Festival is essentially a disbandment concert for PBB...)
(We want to fully bring this boom to a close by announcing a halt to our activities.)
(...But just making the announcement wouldn't be enough for the fans to truly accept it.)
(As such, HiMERU and Oukawa will earnestly articulate the reasons for the break, appealing honestly to the fans about the way we want to be and the direction we wish to take.)
(If we were to resolve this in the typical Crazy:B—or rather, in Amagi fashion, we could fabricate some conspiracy behind PBB's craze...)
(We could force the trend to die out by giving it a bad reputation. But this time, that kind of drastic measure didn't feel right.)
(PBB's phenomenon was brought about by the fickle whims of fate, but it wasn't malicious.)
(And as a result, there are so many fans who have come to love HiMERU and Oukawa.)
(There's no reason to pursue a forceful resolution that would cause them needless pain.)
(Human beings are creatures with an innate desire to help fulfill the dreams and wishes of those they support.)
(So if HiMERU and Oukawa truthfully explain that we've chosen to suspend PBB's activities in pursuit of new dreams, most people should be persuaded.)
(No, that's not quite it. Even if they aren't fully persuaded—it'll still give them a reason to continue supporting us.)
HiMERU: "—There will likely be a lot of speculation and rumors surrounding this sudden hiatus."
"Given its abrupt nature, such things are to be expected."
"But HiMERU and Oukawa are committed to pushing forward, thriving, so that any of those worries can be put to rest."
"The both of us planned this Ephemeral Festival with that commitment in mind."
"Though PBB's rise may have been part of an 'ephemeral' 'festival' revelry, we want to express our 'gratitude' for the love and support you've shown us..." [1]
"That is the true meaning behind this Ephemeral Festival—a performance of gratitude brought to you by HiMERU and Oukawa."
Kohaku: "Did our Ephemeral Festival get across how we truly feel?"
"Hehe. Thanks so much, y'all. Thanks to each of ya, we were able to have so much fun as PBB...♪"
"Now then, it's a shame, but it's time for the last song! For our final track—"
???: "Hold it riiight there!"
Kohaku: Wha— What the heck?!
The lights just went out! Was this part of your plan, HiMERU-han?
HiMERU: —No, HiMERU is also unaware of this. To begin with, there's no way he'd set up anything without telling you, Oukawa.
Kohaku: Yeah, I figured. I mean, that voice just now was clearly...
Whoa... Now what?! The spotlight's suddenly pointin' over there...
Rinne: "Oi, oi, oi! What, you thought you could ditch us and ride off into the sunset? Think again, PBB lovebirds—I ain't letting that shit slide!"
Kohaku: Well, of course it's Rinne-han and Niki-han. No wait, hold up—what's with that ridiculous weapon?
HiMERU: Judging by its shape, it seems to be a bazooka... and it's aimed right at us. But what on earth are you trying to pull, Amagi?
Rinne: "What on earth am I tryna pull? Guess you two still don't get the crimes you've committed, huh?"
"So let me gift ya a big ol' blast to jog your memories ♪"
[ ☆ ]
Here, HiMERU is explaining the festival (and story) name. In Japanese, the story is titled 瞬祭礼, with 瞬 being "ephemeral/momentary," 祭 being "festival" and 礼 being "gratitude." It'd be pronounced 'shunsairei.'
On a slightly related note, these chapter titles are 泡沫 (utakata, like the song title) which also means ephemeral/transient, though since they use different kanji and Rinne says it later, I went with "evanescent."
To explain the nuance between the two words, 瞬 is ephemeral as in "in the blink of an eye," while 泡沫 is ephemeral as in "bubbles/foam on the surface of water."
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"...Don't you feel even a little bit jealous? I know you don't care about idols, but still..."
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Season: Spring
Location: In Front of Live Stage (Food Stalls)
Several days later. Somewhere in Tokyo, in front of a street lined with food stalls near the stage of "Ephemeral Festival."
Niki: Nom, nom, nom... Ah, man~! When it comes to festival food, you can't beat yakisoba and grilled corn!
Why's it that yakisoba made at stalls always tastes better than usual?
Well, I mean, I always think it's delicious no matter when I eat it, but if I could crack the secret, my cooking would go up a notch for sure!
Don't you think so too, Rinne-kun?
Rinne: .........
Niki: Huh? Rinne-kun? Hellooo~? Were you even listening to me?
Oh, wait, could it be that you're hungry?
If you are, I found a stall selling this festival's original treat called "kohakuyaki"! I figured you'd wanna—
Niki: UGYYAAGH!
Rinne: Don't just ditch me and enjoy the festival all by yourself, Niki, you prick!
The hell's a "kohakuyaki" anyway? They just slapped his name on it and called it a day? [1]
...Okay, fine—it's actually kinda good. But come on, it's just baby castella? Not some "kohakuyaki" or whatever.
Niki: Ughhh... Why do I have to get hit with a wrestling move just for kindly sharing my food...?
Rinne: I told you it's 'cause you were off enjoying the festival by yourself!
You left me alone to man the shooting gallery stand! It's bad enough I was already feeling lonely after Merumeru and Kohaku-chan bailed on me...
Picture this: Me. Alone. Running a stall. In a goddamn Merumeru mask. I looked pathetic! Miserable as shit!
Niki: Huh~? Was it really that bad? I thought the Kohaku-chan mask was cute when I wore it.
But that aside, why'd we have to wear Kohaku-chan and HiMERU-kun masks in the first place?
Rinne: Hey... You didn't even bother to read the project plan Merumeru put together for this, did you?
Niki: Sure I did! I remember... something about a bunch of food stalls being lined up, at least!
Rinne: All you ever think about is food, huh...
If I'm saying it as it appears in the proposal, then this "Ephemeral Festival" is PBB's first official live event.
Merumeru pushed the project through with the deputy director while Kohaku-chan was resting up.
Now that we're entering the real summer season, they set it up as a festival where PBB thanks their fans as summer arrives.
The agency also saw a chance to cash in on their insane popularity, so the plan got approved in no time.
PBB's turned into a gold fountain. They're gonna rake in a fortune by selling merch at the concert, no doubt.
Niki: Ohhh, so that's why there's so many HiMERU-kun and Kohaku-chan-themed merch and stalls around~
They were also giving out hand fans all over the venue, to keep up that summer festival theme, I guess?
Rinne: Looks that way. The stalls are probably here to sell the vibe even more.
Niki: Hmmm...? But, doesn't something feel off?
If I remember right, HiMERU-kun mentioned something about bringing the PBB trend to an end...?
Rinne: Who knows. I was told my help wasn't needed, so I wasn't involved in the planning at all.
Well, the deputy director said he'd milk it for all its worth since it's PBB's first and last live, so he's probably figured out a way to pull it off.
Must be nice for them, though. They're up on stage surrounded by fans right now.
Meanwhile, look at us. Stuck here manning a shooting gallery stall.
Same unit, my ass. The way we're treated, it's the difference between heaven and hell. It's like I'm just some convenient lackey.
Even this outfit, I only got it out of pity from Anzu-chan.
Niki: Now, now, Rinne-kun. You’re pouty again 'cause those two are the center of attention, huh?
If I fan you with this, do you think it'll cool off that hot temper of yours~? Flap flap...♪
Rinne: ...Don't you feel even a little bit jealous? I know you don't care about idols, but still...
Niki: More than that, I just feel proud that Kohaku-chan and HiMERU-kun are so loved by everyone, y'know?
Like you said, I don't care about the idol world as much as you do, Rinne-kun.
Even if the fans get fed up with me, as long as I can still cook, I don't mind at all! ♪
Rinne: Yeah, yeah, that's so typical of you, Niki. I'm the one who dragged you into this idol stuff in the first place anyway...
Niki: Well, even if your idol career doesn't work out, I'll always be here to cook you something delicious, no matter what.
Rinne: ...Look at you, getting all cocky.
Fine then. If you're gonna say that, I won't hesitate to mooch off you from now on. Oh, I'll be eating real good. Thanks a bunch! ♪
Niki: Crap! I let my soft heart get the better of me and said something I shouldn't have! Forget I said that!
Rinne: Gyahaha. Too late now. No take-backs in life, buddy...♪
Besides, Niki. Do you really think I'm the kinda guy who's just gonna sit here and sulk all day?
Niki: ...Heh?
Rinne: Don't worry. There ain't no way I'm just gonna take this lying down.
Brace yourself, Merumeru. You're gonna pay for leaving us out of the spotlight. There'll be no mercy...♪
[ ☆ ]
Originally, he asks if "kohakuyaki" is like a sibling to "konjouyaki", which is the act of burning cigarettes on skin. I guess the joke is they sound similar, but I couldn't come up with a way to carry it across in English, so...👍
"Even if HiMERU doesn't say it, you already know, don't you."
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Season: Spring
Location: Hospital Lounge
HiMERU: .........
Rinne: Hey there, you're looking gloomier than usual, Merumeru.
So, what, an idol can make even a sorrowful expression bloom into a beautiful one? As expected of Crazy:B's ultimate heartthrob, gyahaha ♪
HiMERU: ...Amagi. This is a hospital, so please keep it down.
Rinne: I'm being considerate, ain't I? I'm keeping it low enough.
So? What're you doing here, Merumeru? Abandoning your beloved Kohaku-chan?
HiMERU: .........
Rinne: Silent treatment, huh? Normally, you'd have a more convincing deception scheme up your sleeve by now. ...Yeah? HiMERU?
Shall I change my line of questioning a little? What business would you have on a whole different floor from Kohaku-chan's room?
HiMERU: —You're still as awful as ever.
The same goes for you, Amagi. Why are you waiting for HiMERU on a floor that doesn't concern you?
Even if HiMERU doesn't say it, you already know, don't you.
Rinne: Bingo ♪ Of course I know all there is to know about my precious unit members—right down to the nitty-gritty details.
Like, for exaaample... How our Merumeru here's actually lying about his age by a year...♪
I mean, you gotta keep up the act, right? Gotta stay in character to impersonate your little brother, Kanamecchi Tojo—that is, "HiMERU." But hey, turns out you and Niki are the same age, huh! ♪
HiMERU: —Profile details are inconsequential. Shaving a year off one's age is commonplace enough, isn't it?
More importantly. For you to even know the exact location of his hospital room...
HiMERU: Let me make this clear. If you intend to drag Kaname into anything, "I" won't show any mercy.
Even if it's you I'm up against, if you lay a finger on him, I'll annihilate you beyond recognition...!
Rinne: Whoa there. Is that what you look like when you've been stripped off your perfect facade? Gyahaha, you're lookin' pretty cool, Merumeru ♪
Relax. I'm not planning to go that far.
I just figured maybe the reason you've been acting all weird lately might have something to do with "HiMERU."
HiMERU: .........
Rinne: I mean, I could've just snuck into Kanamecchi's room without telling you and forced him to spill the beans, y'know?
But I didn't wanna take any unnecessary gambles that might ruin the trust between us I've built so far.
HiMERU: ...Haah. Do you truly believe I have any trust to place in you, Amagi?
Rinne: No need to get all bashful now, okay? Since we've got a close bond, you and I...♪
HiMERU: .........
—Has Oukawa woken up yet?
Rinne: He's all better now. Despite being the one who collapsed, he spent more time worrying about everyone else.
Kohaku-chan's too nice for his own good. Even though he got dragged into this 'cause of you, Merumeru.
HiMERU: HiMERU caused Oukawa a great amount of trouble. Projecting his little brother onto him... And forcing him to bear the burden of Kaname's dreams...
That's where HiMERU went wrong.
Rinne: ...So, it was about Kanamecchi after all.
HiMERU: Yes. The reason HiMERU noticed the trend was because Kaname had some PBB merch in his room.
He must have bought it while he was conscious. It's clear he was happy watching the trend unfold.
That's why HiMERU—why "I" thought it was Kaname's wish for HiMERU to pursue that dream. Even though "I" was personally skeptical of the trend...
It's only natural that others thought something felt strange. After all, HiMERU has been going through the motions while simultaneously doubting HiMERU.
Kohaku: —Well, that's rich. So you were doubtin' it too, HiMERU-han.
HiMERU: ...?! Oukawa?! And Shiina too...? How long have you been here?
Niki: Uh~m. We came in around the part where you were talking about something feeling strange?
Kohaku: Rinne-han texted sayin' you were in the lounge. Then, we heard y'all arguin' up a storm, so we came to check in on things.
HiMERU: ...... (Scowls at Rinne)
Rinne: ♪~♪~♪ (Whistles)
HiMERU: Sigh... This confirms there really is no trust to place in Amagi.
Kohaku: Well, ain't that somethin' you've known and hated for ages now?
More importantly—so you weren't happy with JoyLife's whole deal either, HiMERU-han?
HiMERU: HiMERU did desire to share a life with Oukawa, and it's the truth that he genuinely had fun, though...?
Kohaku: So that part was true after all, huh...?
HiMERU: —Does that mean you didn't enjoy it, Oukawa?
...No, of course you didn't. In fact, you were so stressed you even had a panic attack...
Kohaku: Argh, geez, enough already! Quit that sulkin', it's such a pain in the ass! That part don't even matter!
If you're askin' if I had fun, then yeah, I had a good time!
I just think the show coulda been handled better, is all...
Rinne: Hee-yoo ☆ Things sure are heatin' up between you two, huh~♪
Kohaku: Will ya knock it off?! That ain't even what I'm tryin' to say...
HiMERU: —Not everything was a lie, you know.
Reproducing exactly what everyone wants to see, without a millimeter of error, and showing his fans a perfect HiMERU... He still believes that's the right thing to do.
Kohaku: I get that, and I agree with it.
What I don't agree with is actin' like there's no point in doin' anythin' else.
I want my fans to see all kinds of different sides of me.
Sure, I wanna cherish the image they love, but I also wanna do work that catches 'em off guard and surprises 'em.
The world's big, after all. I wanna experience more and show off all that Kohaku Oukawa has to offer.
Niki: Nahaha. I get what Kohaku-chan's saying, too.
Kohaku: ...Even though you were agreein' with HiMERU-han earlier?
Niki: It's not like I have to pick sides, right? I still think what I said to HiMERU-kun was true too.
A regular menu doesn't need to change. But if that's all you serve, customers are gonna get bored real fast.
That's why we chefs rack our brains trying to come up with new dishes all the time.
And when we put 'em on the menu as seasonal specials, customers gobble 'em right up ♪
HiMERU: —Fufu. Shiina, you've been surprisingly sharp with your metaphors lately.
HiMERU doesn't want to limit any of HiMERU's opportunities to succeed, either.
(Really, Kaname wasn't looking at just PBB.)
(That boy was simply dazzled by watching HiMERU succeed. Like an innocent little kid...)
(So nothing about what "I" do will change from now on.)
—For HiMERU's perfect self to be shown to as many people as possible... That is HiMERU's true and honest dream...♪
Kohaku: Hearin' that makes me feel relieved. Feels like the usual HiMERU-han's finally back.
HiMERU: Oukawa. HiMERU sincerely apologizes for causing you trouble by dragging you into his plans and putting undue pressure on you.
Kohaku: Don't worry 'bout it. Now that I've heard what's been on your mind, I actually feel way better than before.
Rinne: Looks like you two survived your little breakup crisis and came out with a happy ending, gyahaha! ♪
But, y'know. It ain't exactly all sunshine and rainbows yet.
The world's still completely hooked on PBB, and Crazy:B can't properly get back to work. So, what's the game plan now?
If you want, I can solve it all with one last glorious bang.
HiMERU: Your offer is appreciated, but HiMERU must decline. Your methods always make too many enemies, Amagi.
Besides, since HiMERU was the one who set much of this into motion, he will take responsibility for it himself.
Rinne: Huuh. Well, aren't you just brimming with confidence?
HiMERU: With Oukawa having collapsed, PBB's activities will likely be on hold for a while. During that period, HiMERU will handle the preparations.
HiMERU: Just you watch. Allow HiMERU to demonstrate how to bring this capricious frenzy to a peaceful end ♪
"...Hey, Kaname. What would you do in this situation?"
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Season: Spring
Location: Ward
A few hours later. In a hospital room.
Kohaku: Ngh... Nngh?
Niki: Ah, Kohaku-chan, you're awake! What a relief~!
When HiMERU-kun called saying you collapsed, even I stopped eating for a sec, y'know?
Kohaku: ...Haha, now that's a big deal. No matter what kinda prank you get caught up in, the one universal constant is that Niki-han won't stop eatin'.
Maybe the sky's fixin' to start fallin' tomorrow?
Niki: Nahaha! Even I'd focus on dodging if that happened.
Rinne: If you're cracking jokes, looks like you're fine for now. Well, my guess is it was just stress-induced hyperventilation.
Still, passing out 'cause of stress? You're still just a brat after all, huuuh. Gyahaha!
Kohaku: Ughhh... well, I can't even argue, seein' as I did collapse.
Managin' your health's part of an idol's job, too. If I couldn't even do that, callin' me a brat's fair enough.
With this whole mess, I've caused trouble for not just HiMERU-han, but the agency, too...
Rinne: Nah, no need to worry 'bout that. The fact you passed out ain't public knowledge yet.
Kohaku: ...It ain't?
Rinne: It's thanks to Merumeru's smart move. He contacted the agency while calling the ambulance.
The deputy director made sure you were brought here on the down-low. Plus, this hospital's connected to CosPro, so no worries about the press finding out.
Kohaku: That so? Well, that's a relief, at least.
Right now, folks are already way too touchy 'bout me as it is. If word got out I collapsed, the agency'd be flooded with complaints all over again.
I oughta thank HiMERU-han for his quick thinkin'.
...Speakin' of which, where is he, anyhow?
Niki: Huh? Now that you mention it... He's gone all of a sudden?
He was with us when he led us to your room, but...
Kohaku: ...That dumbass. Ain't no reason for him to be so considerate of me.
Right before I passed out, we got into a bit of a tiff.
I ended up sayin' some nasty stuff, like how just seein' his face made it hard to breathe...
Rinne: Whoa, Kohaku-chan, that's harsh~ No wonder Merumeru felt awkward hanging around your room.
Looks like the town's favorite lovey-dovey couple finally broke up, huh? Bet Merumeru's off on some emotional soul-searching trip to fix his broken lil heart. Gyahaha ♪
Kohaku: Oh, shut your trap! Takin' advantage of this situation to mess with me... Keep it up, and I'll see to it you never get the chance to run that mouth again!
Rinne: Ooh, scary, scary. Well, I'll get the hell outta here then.
Niki, why don't you peel Kohaku-chan an apple or somethin'. He looks alright, but you did bring some get-well gifts, right?
Niki: Leave it to me! Kohaku-chan, what do you like? I've got apples, bananas, and even a melon~
Kohaku: Ah, thanks. I'll take an apple, then.
Rinne: Alright, I'm heading out. Might as well hit the pachinko parlor...
Or maybe I'll go poke fun at Merumeru's shattered heart while I'm at it.
(...Come to think of it, isn't this also the hospital where he's staying?)
(The real HiMERU... Kaname Tojo.)
HiMERU: —Looks like you've been busy again, collecting things while "I" was absent.
There's even more PBB merchandise than before. You can hardly walk yet, so are you asking the nurses to gather them for you?
...... (Holds Kaname's hand.)
HiMERU: (Kaname is recovering. Slowly, but surely.)
(He's still mostly bedridden, though the doctor says he's managing to stay awake for longer stretches than before.)
(Even so, he still cries out incoherently... The loathsome wounds carved into his heart continue to bleed.)
(—But, even for Kaname, there are moments when he can forget that pain. It's only when he's watching over "HiMERU's activities" that he finds peace.)
(Being surrounded by all this HiMERU merchandise must be part of what keeps him stable.)
(And yet...)
HiMERU: ...Hey, Kaname. What would you do in this situation?
(Is PBB what you want HiMERU to be...? What you want to be?)
(Can "I" really be the one to protect where you belong?)
(Is the place where "I" currently stand suitable for you to return to?)
(Kaname... What kind of idol did you want to be?)
HiMERU: ......
HiMERU: ...I'll come see you again. Rest well, Kaname, and keep watching over your Onii-chan.
"I" swear... I'll protect your dream, your place as HiMERU, no matter what.
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Season: Spring
Location: Abandoned Mine
Days later, in an abandoned mine deep in the mountains.
Rinne: "Emergency project! Chase Nagigon, the mythical giant creature!"
"So, here we are at the abandoned mine! Today, us Crazy:B are off in search of the legendary creature, Nagigon!"
Kohaku: ...What the heck's this? Feels like somethin' a washed-up internet streamer would come up with...
Rinne-han said he had a weird yet foolproof plan to solve our dire situation, but is this really the solution he meant...?
HiMERU: —Fufu. That line sounds somewhat familiar.
You said something similar during the initial rehearsal for JoyLife, Oukawa.
Kohaku: Even your JoyLife was the same. You got so serious 'bout it, yet what you delivered was such a letdown...
Rinne: Oi, oi. Kohaku-chan, you've really gotten quite high and mighty, haven'tcha...?
What happened to the Kohaku-chan who used to say he'd take any job just to rack up experience?
Kohaku: You were the one sayin' we had to be picky about the jobs we take. And besides, things're different now.
Crazy:B's in high demand, so surely there were some better gigs out there?
Rinne: Nah. That's only true for you and Merumeru. The public's focusing on PBB, not Crazy:B.
HiMERU: Hm. In other words, the work for Crazy:B's four members remains unchanged?
Rinne: That's right. Niki and I are only seen as evil pests meddling with you two.
Niki: Nahaha. Thanks to that, I've been able to focus on my cooking job lately, and it's been awesome!
And with Rinne-kun off sulking somewhere, I got to work in peace. No interruptions, no chaos ♪
I wouldn't mind staying like this forev... Hey, Rinne-kun, quit holding onto my clothes! You're not gonna suplex me again, are you?!
Kohaku: Niki-han, you really just never learn...
I do understand your situation, Rinne-han. But I still don't get how this show's a solution to the problem...
Rinne: Well, as you pointed out, there's pretty much nothing deep or complicated here.
It's just a typical Crazy:B-style project to ruffle some feathers with the public's interest in PBB.
Wasn't I spending most of my free time tryna wreck the happy little lovefest you two had going?
Niki: Waugh... That's such a scummy thing to admit.
Rinne: Shuddup! This project's just a way to pass the time, forcing work outta Vice Prez Glasses-kun.
Kohaku: I see. So that's why it's so half-baked. I feel a bit sorry for the deputy director now...
HiMERU: He probably buckled under Amagi's insistence and threw together a project on the fly.
Kohaku: But seriously, what's with this "Nagigon" thing? Ain't it usually somethin' like a tsuchinoko[1] or what have ya?
And it's real strange that Nagigon sounds so close to Nagisa-han's name.
???: ...You picked up on that quickly.
Nagisa: ...Hello there. I'm Nagigon ♪
Kohaku: Hold on, it really was Nagisa-han!
You ain't even gonna wear a costume or nothin'? You're not honestly plannin' to appear lookin' like that, are ya?
Nagisa: ...No. We have various costumes prepared. A deep-sea octopus, a lion, a kaiju... I'll cater to everyone's preferences.
Kohaku: You haven't decided yet, huh. That's real sloppy...
HiMERU: —Still, to have Ran-san come for a project like this... It's hard to believe the deputy director gave the go-ahead.
Or does he have some hidden agenda behind this proposal?
Nagisa: ...That's not it. It's probably just to vent out his frustrations.
...Lately, I've been going behind Ibara's back, showing up on variety shows and acting on my own accord. I suppose it's accurate to say that his patience has finally snapped.
Kohaku: Is that really somethin' to say with a smile on your face...?
Nagisa: ...Hehe. It seems we've become close enough for Ibara to lash out at me, so that makes me happy.
...But more importantly than that. What kind of sound do you all think a Nagigon would make?
Kohaku: Nagisa-han, you're awful particular 'bout details. You don't need to go that far for such a pointless project! ♪
HiMERU: —It seems like you're having quite a lot of fun today, Oukawa. You're more energetic than usual.
Kohaku: Mm? Really? I don't notice it much myself, so I can't rightly say.
But yeah, I've been gettin' real sick of only doin' PBB gigs lately. Even if this project's ridiculous, it feels more enjoyable ♪
HiMERU: .........
Niki: Huh? Rinne-kun, I think the staff over there's looking for you?
Rinne: Ah? What's going on? They look real stressed. Something go sideways?
Kohaku: Huh? They're cancelin' the filmin'? Just like that? The weather don't even seem to have taken a sudden turn for the worse...
HiMERU: —So that's it. It appears that information about the filming here has leaked to the outside.
Upon learning about it, several fans gathered at the base of the mountain to protest against PBB being assigned dangerous work, causing a bit of an uproar.
Kohaku: What the heck's that?! I mean, it's bad enough that info got leaked in the first place, but...!
But it's up to us to decide what kinda work we do!
Rinne: ...This is the sign of impending doom after hitting the jackpot, Kohaku-chan.
We... Well, more specifically, you and Merumeru, have been forced into a position where fans dictate your work.
Kohaku: Fans dictatin' our work...?
Rinne: PBB fans enjoy watching you two living peacefully and happily.
No one wants to see Crazy:B going on dangerous adventures in abandoned mines, not like the kinda stuff we used to do.
On the contrary, some blind, overprotective fans must be thinking like this:
"They're being forced to deal with those two bothersome Crazy:B members, taking on dangerous work they never asked for."
"Poor Kohaku-kun, we need to stop this immediately. We must protect him..." Somethin' like that.
Kohaku: Haah...? That's such unnecessary meddlin'! I chose to take this job!
Rinne: But the world don't see it that way. With PBB in the spotlight, Kohaku-chan's seen as a cute idol living a peaceful life.
That's the role society's expecting from you now, and the label that's been stuck on you.
Kohaku: .........
Rinne: Anyway. With so many fans crawling outta the woodwork, it'll be tough to keep filming.
Nagisa: ...Mhm. I've contacted Ibara. It'd be wise to withdraw for the time being.
Rinne: Them's the breaks. Kohaku-chan, stuff like this is bound to keep happening from here on out.
I was late to catch on as well, but just like I suspected, things have gone horribly wrong.
[ ☆ ]
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"That's right! I wanted to be loved by everyone too! Because I'm an idol!"
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Season: Spring
Location: An Apartment Room
Rinne: .........
Niki: Nahaha. Looks like you really were scared, Rinne-kun. You've been clinging to my clothes and won't let go.
There, there... You're alright now~ Just learn from this, okay? Maybe don't do anything so stupid again—
Niki: UGYAAAH?!
Rinne: SHUUUUDDUUUPPP!
HiMERU: Oh, what an impressive German suplex.
Kohaku: Niki-han... If you hadn't gone and said somethin' unnecessary, you wouldn't be gettin' hit with wrestlin' moves right now...
Rinne: You fuckers! What the hell?! How could you just ignore me and toss me into the storage room like that?!
HiMERU: Actually, it was the staff who threw you in there, not us.
We had asked them to move any furniture that wouldn't be used in the filming out of the way.
Rinne: So then, don't buy shit you're not gonna use to record! Plan your shopping better, dumbasses! How many goddamn years have you been in the workforce, huh?!
Thanks to you, I was freaking out and legit thought I was gonna die?! It scared the living fuck outta me, wondering if I'd just slowly rot away with no one finding me...!
Kohaku: And now he's pitchin' a full-blown tantrum... Serves you right, though. That's what you get for stickin' your nose where it don't belong.
HiMERU: What were you thinking to begin with? While your behavior is generally incomprehensible, this instance is particularly baffling.
Rinne: I spelled it out in the video, didn't I?! I wanted to take you pricks by surprise!
HiMERU: And what exactly was the point of this prank?
Rinne: I said that in the video too! Pay attention and watch it properly, damn it!
Niki: Wait? Just a basic question, but Rinne-kun, you were locked in this storage box this whole time, right?
So, who posted the video?
Rinne: Moooron, there's a little something called scheduled posting. I filmed and edited the part where I hid in the storage box in advance and scheduled it to upload.
Here's how it went: I crawled outta the box, went all the way back to Seisoukan, edited the footage, then dragged my ass back here just to hop back in the box.
Niki: And here I thought all you were doing lately was just holing up in your room... But nope, you were actually off pulling weird stunts like this.
HiMERU: It's behavior that resembles the culprits in detective novels. When viewed objectively, it's nothing but ridiculous—one can't help but wonder why anyone would go to such lengths.
Kohaku: I get it now. So you posted that video of the prank ahead of time and planned to reveal the results later—that was your whole plan, huh?
Rinne: Exactly! And look how that turned out—a complete disaster! Ughhh, just goes to show this is what you get for trying stuff outta your wheelhouse, huh?!
I blew it, even though I brought gear like cameras to capture the prank's moment!
But I didn't have anything to connect to the internet, so I couldn't call for help!
I was so scared I ended up shouting myself hoarse, and I couldn't even yell to you guys for help!
So I desperately tried to make noise, but you bastards just ignored me?!
Thinking, is there no god or buddha?! I even got all sentimental and left a will on camera!
Niki: Oh, like those guys who get lost in the mountains and leave a last message...
HiMERU: Won't you please try not to get lost in a residential area's storage room. Really, good grief.
Well, in hindsight, it's fortunate that nothing serious happened.
Currently, it would be inconvenient for HiMERU if you were to die.
Rinne: That so? No, that can't be right, hm? As it stands, our Crazy:B is PBB—in other words, it's you and Kohaku-chan's popularity that's holding it up!
So let's be for real. Niki and I are completely unnecessary, aren't we?
HiMERU: Are you saying that you did something so foolish out of bitterness and a desire for attention?
Rinne: That's right! I wanted to be loved by everyone too! Because I'm an idol!
Rinne: —And also. At first, I thought it was fun to watch, but the longer this dragged on, it hit me. "If this keeps up, things are gonna get real bad."
HiMERU: What do you mean by "this"?
Rinne: The abnormal popularity of PBB and JoyLife, that's what.
At first, it felt like we hit the lottery—just like I said a million times. Though really, it's more like landing on one of those lucky spaces in Sugoroku.
But you've heard the stories, right? About people who won the lottery. How their lives went haywire after that.
It ain't just "happily ever after" when you hit the jackpot.
Life goes on after that. And that "excessive good fortune" distorts the life and personality of the person it's given to.
Rinne: I realized we're facing a shitty situation like that.
"What are you, a stray kitten in need of a rescue team?"
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Season: Spring
Location: An Apartment Room
Rinne: "Mwa-hah-hah...♪"
"So, I crammed myself inside the storage box they bought at the mall."
"I really struggled... If it was just the storage box, it'd look outta place, so I stayed up all night arranging all the other furniture."
"I've duped JoyLife's management into giving me a spare key, so it's easy for me to break into the room."
"They've both already gone back to Seisoukan after filming, though."
Rinne: "I mean, ain't this supposed to be some "cohabitation life"? Then why don't they stay here forever?! They shouldn't be heading back to where they usually live!"
"Everyone watching back home! Is it really okay to let such deceit slide?! Ain't this dishonest?!"
"And seriously, why'd they buy such boring stuff like storage boxes? What, are they fresh outta college or something?"
"...Or are they newlyweds?! 'Let's fill these boxes with our precious memories, one by one'—aghh, what a bunch of stupid assholes!"
"I'll give those jolly idiots a rude awakening! I'm gonna bust in and blow their shallow 'ordinary life' to smithereens!"
"So here's the plan: I stay curled up in this box, just waiting for them to stroll in for their next filming session—"
"The second they touch this thing, I'm popping out like a jack-in-the-box! Can't wait to see their faces when it happens~! Gyahahahaha! ☆"
Location: Café Cinnamon
HiMERU: .........
Kohaku: .........
HiMERU: ...Did you notice the storage box?
Kohaku: No, I'd even forgotten we bought it. We didn't know what we'd need, so we just bought random furniture for the heck of it.
HiMERU: It's not such a large room, so it was a challenge to figure out where to place everything.
In the end, any furniture deemed unnecessary was supposed to be listed and tossed in the unused room intended for storage.
The staff likely followed our instructions and threw that box into the storage room, without realizing Amagi was inside.
Either he was fast asleep and failed to notice, or he held his breath, realizing it wasn't us outside the door—
As a result, Amagi's presence went unnoticed by the staff, and he was transported to the storage room.
Kohaku: ...Now that you mention it, there were eerie noises durin' the filmin'.
Niki: Eel? You had eel sushi?
Kohaku: Not eel, eerie. Umm, I'm talkin' poltergeist stuff. Y'know, strange noises comin' from the walls and all that.
HiMERU: Come to think of it, there was a sound during filming that resembled a banging noise against the wall.
Kohaku: Yeah. I remember talkin' 'bout how the filmin' was so noisy that the neighbors mighta been bangin' on the wall.
HiMERU: The broadcast playfully included captions such as "Could this be a supernatural occurrence?!" But that's not the case. What it means is... No, could it actually be—
Location: An Apartment Room
A few minutes later, at the JoyLife filming set.
Rinne: .........
HiMERU: —Amagi. There has never been a moment in which expecting anything from you seemed reasonable, yet somehow, you've managed to outdo yourself this time.
Now make sure to look HiMERU in the eyes and answer properly. What the hell were you trying to accomplish?
Kohaku: Oh shit, he's gettin' chewed out for real...
Niki: To be honest, it feels kinda good seeing him get what he deserves!
HiMERU: What was your plan if we hadn't noticed the video? You could have ended up dead.
Kohaku: Yeah... The staff didn't realize he was hidin' inside the storage box, so it looks like they went and piled a buncha heavy furniture on top of it.
Rinne-han ended up stuck.
HiMERU: What are you, a stray kitten in need of a rescue team?
"—With that in mind, I went ahead and rigged the furniture they bought in episode six with bombs."
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Season: Spring
Location: Shopping Mall 2F
The mysterious program footage that was uploaded to the same channel about the same time as JoyLife's 7th episode.
Rinne: "It's Rinne Amagi-kun's~♪"
"Plan to totally wreck their 'joyful life'~♪"
"—So, here's the deal. I'm pissed off that those guys are so popular, sooo I've decided to totally fuck everything up!"
"I get it! Oh, I get it, I know what y'all are gonna say!"
"Since your unit buddies are killin' it, shouldn't you be happy for 'em? Congratulate 'em instead of getting all weirdly jealous?"
"Uh, hell no! I can't stand it if only they get to be happy—I'm gonna drag 'em down to the same muddy misery Niki and I are stuck in! Gyahahaha! ☆"
"—With that in mind, I went ahead and rigged the furniture they bought in episode six with bombs."
Location: Café Cinnamon
Kohaku: What the hell's he doin'?!
HiMERU: Amagi has been unusually subdued as of late—
It seems he's up to some more lousy schemes again.
Niki: Ack! If he's gonna do something shady, I'd rather he just go ahead and do it by himself! Don't drag my name into this, it's really freaking annoying~?!
I-I don't wanna get mixed up in Rinne-kun's mess!
Kohaku: Welp, might be best to just give up on that front, Niki-han. You're probably stuck with that fate, like it or not.
Niki: Anything but thaaat! I just wanna live a normal life without involving myself with criminaaals!
HiMERU: Please calm down, Shiina. It's precisely during these emergencies that one should remain composed and handle things rationally.
First, let's assess the current situation. Oukawa, please contact the JoyLife management team.
Then, find out how this strange video was uploaded in the first place.
Amagi can be dealt with later.
Kohaku: Dealt with, huh... Yeah. I reckon we need to do just that.
HiMERU: Indeed. Just when everything was going so smoothly. As punishment, it's necessary to execute that brainless imbecile for acting out of turn.
Kohaku: Uh, execute? I meant dealt with, not have him killed. But anyway, why's Rinne-han pullin' these bizarre stunts again...?
HiMERU: ...Could it be that... he simply couldn't stomach seeing us be more popular than him?
Kohaku: Hm, I dunno... Rinne-han kept pokin' fun, but it kinda felt like he was cheerin' us on in his own weird way.
HiMERU: Perhaps deep down, he harbored a simmering jealousy towards us. Hmph, he clearly lacks the maturity of a proper person.
Kohaku: Hnn... I ain't so sure. Doesn't seem very "Rinne-han-like," does it?
Niki: But anyway, the video said something about a bomb. Were you guys okay?
HiMERU: Obviously. We're here precisely because we were fine.
Kohaku: But, if you think 'bout it, there were some odd points. Like today, along with this bizarre video, the seventh episode of JoyLife got uploaded...
We were supposed to arrange the furniture we bought in the last episode. But when we got to the set...
HiMERU: Ah, yes, the furniture had already been properly arranged.
Niki: Wait, really? But didn't you say in the preview for the sixth episode that the next one was all about arranging furniture?
So what did you do in episode seven?
HiMERU: In a hurry, we decided to alter our plans and focus on testing the furniture's usability, skipping the layout phase and starting with practical use.
Kohaku: Yeah. We just lazed around on that sofa we bought and stuffed the fridge with food for no reason at all.
And then we cooked with the ingredients we bought and ended up sittin' down to eat together.
Niki: Huh?! Why didn't you call me to help with the cooking?!
Kohaku: I can never quite figure out what triggers Niki-han's berserk button...
HiMERU: On the contrary, isn't it the most straightforward of all?
At any rate, the seventh episode wrapped up rather peacefully.
Kohaku: Mhm. Just the usual, peaceful and carefree JoyLife—
So, we hadn't noticed Rinne-han's disturbing actions until just now.
HiMERU: Hmm...? What on earth could that nuisance really be up to...?
"At what point did we lose this kind of 'earnestness'?"
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Season: Spring
Location: Department Store's Furniture Area
Kohaku: "I'm tellin' ya, we don't need such a gargantuan fridge."
HiMERU: "Are you unfamiliar with the aphorism, 'better too big than too small'?"
Kohaku: "That may be true, but it ain't like we're gonna be livin' together forever; a small fridge just big enough to chill drinks should do the trick—"
Location: Café Cinnamon
Kohaku: Snore... Snooore...♪
HiMERU: Oukawa fell asleep, possibly due to the program being so uninteresting.
Niki: His sleeping face's sooo cute~♪
HiMERU: Agreed. Moreover, since JoyLife requires absolutely no effort, Oukawa seems to have an abundance of energy to spare.
So, during his free time, he has apparently taken on various individual jobs.
And these are more proper, "idol-like" activities—dramas, magazine photoshoots, handshake events, autograph signings, and even some promotional appearances...
Niki: Kohaku-chan may be tiny, but he's full of energy, huh?
HiMERU: He likely only has the stamina suitable for his age and build. Yet, he pushes himself beyond his limits, which is why he ends up dozing off like this.
Niki: He's like a kid who plays 'til his energy levels drop to zero!
HiMERU: Hehe, indeed. It's rather enviable, and stunningly bright.
At what point did we lose this kind of "earnestness"?
Niki: I'm still the same way, though! Go, go, go, until I've got nothin' left in the tank! I'm always an elementary schooler at heart~!
HiMERU: ...That's more likely to be a result of your physical constitution.
Fufu. HiMERU is already an adult, so he tends to prioritize efficiency.
As it stands, there's no real need to stray beyond JoyLife. Its immense success alone brings both the fame and the wealth required.
In fact, some are even suggesting that we avoid additional activities and focus exclusively on JoyLife.
Niki: Man, the people who eat are pretty selfish, huh? We put all this thought into the nutritional balance when we cook, but then they're like, "I want curry rice every day!"
But if we actually give them curry every day, they start whining that they're sick of it.
HiMERU: That's an unusually nuanced remark.
Niki: It's pretty much how Rinne-kun was. He's basically just a tall kid, that guy.
HiMERU: Fufu. Parenting is no easy feat for either of us, is it?
Niki: Huh? I thought Kohaku-chan was the one taking care of you, though~?
HiMERU: Despite HiMERU being the one constantly supporting everyone from an adult's standpoint? Even this current project was brought in by HiMERU, was it not?
Niki: Nah, I meant emotionally.
Kohaku: Nn... Ah, shoot~ I nodded off.
HiMERU: Good morning, Oukawa ♪
Kohaku: Mm. I'd like to make an excuse, but I know it ain't proper for the actors to go criticizin' their own show. Still—this JoyLife's just plain too dull.
HiMERU: We are the performers, after all. Since we already know what's coming, it's bound to feel more monotonous to us than to the audience.
Kohaku: That's true, too. And I get that it's supposed to be the show's gimmick, but it's so uninspired it just makes me sleepier and sleepier...
I'm not askin' for car chases or nothin', but a gunfight or two wouldn't hurt.
HiMERU: ...That would be difficult to pull off in peaceful Japan.
Kohaku: It's precisely because we live in peace that folks start cravin' a bit of danger and excitement, ain't it?
...Or somethin'. Haha, funny, I used to be the one wishin' for a peaceful, uneventful life.
Niki: Well, having curry every day would get boring ♪
Kohaku: ? What're you talkin' 'bout?
HiMERU: Fufu. Just a little adult conversation. Right? Shiina ♪
Niki: Huh. Hmm...?
HiMERU: ...What's wrong?
Niki: Nah, it's just... for a sec, I thought I saw something creepy flash on the screen.
Huh? I don't remember seeing anything like that last time I watched...? But I wasn't really paying attention, so maybe I'm wrong?
Kohaku: What d'ya mean by somethin' "creepy"?
Niki: Well, it's like... something that looked like Rinne-kun—
"In fact, ain't it harder to figure out what we're even missin'?"
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Season: Spring
Location: Café Cinnamon
HiMERU: Shiina has shared an uncharacteristically well-thought-out opinion, huh.
Kohaku: Yeah, insights from folks with experience in other fields can be valuable. As for me, other than bein' an idol, all I know's the dirty work I did back home. HiMERU-han, you also—
HiMERU: —HiMERU is an idol nurtured in an axenic culture. Though, as a hobby, he has dabbled in things like stocks and handling numbers.
Essentially, he only knows about being an idol, so it's interesting to hear experiences from other professions.
Niki: That's why I'm thinking, maybe a lot of people feel the same way?
Thanks to ES, idol stuff's gotten way more attention. But for us regular people, idols are still these mysterious aliens, y'know?
Kohaku: Now hold on, don't lump yourself in with "regular people." You're an idol too, aren'tcha?
Niki: Yeah. But that's why idols are so rare and intriguing to everyone. It's probably why there's interest in JoyLife as well.
You can see dogs and cats everywhere just by walking around town, but if you wanna see lions or pandas, you've gotta go to the zoo.
Lions aren't all that different from cats, but seeing that first-hand might make you feel like you've gained something?
Kohaku: No, wait, lions and cats are real different.
Niki: They taste the same!
HiMERU: Ultimately, the conversation developed in a very "Shiina-like" manner—both understandable, yet perplexing at the same time.
Niki: Ehh? But for once, I thought I was being logical, y'know? Logical!
Kohaku: Still, that was a pretty clear metaphor. Yeah, I mighta caught the same bug as that apprentice chef in your story.
Niki: The so-called May Blues! [1] Nahaha ♪
Kohaku: Yup, that's right... Even though I knew from the start that reality and ideals don't always match up...
But... I know I'm soundin' obstinate, but I just can't accept it. Seriously, why're JoyLife and PBB so popular?
I get that's how trends work, but it feels like everyone's just up and lost their minds...
Is it just that everyone says it's interestin', so they convince themselves it is?
Look, the latest JoyLife episode just got uploaded.
HiMERU-han. You're surprisingly stubborn, so I reckon you won't change your mind. But could ya watch this one more time and give it a calm, honest judgment?
Just to see if it's really all that entertainin'.
HiMERU: Hm. The latest episode... Umm, let's see, what was it that we did?
Kohaku: Well, it's JoyLife, so nothin' too special. Last time, all we did was pick out some furniture for livin' together...
Niki: It's kinda a follow-up from the last episode, so it's probably easier to get if you start there. I think I watched it, but I can't remember a thing about it.
Kohaku: When it's over, you don't remember a thing—it's 'bout as dull as plain lukewarm water... Welp, whatever. I'll just pull it up on my phone, then~?
Let's go with Niki-han's suggestion, since he's been strangely reliable today, and start with the last episode ♪
Location: Department Store's Furniture Area
<Kohaku & HiMERU's Daily Joyful Cohabitation Life: Episode 6 - Epic Fight at the Shopping Mall Arc~!>
HiMERU: "So, we've come to the nearby shopping mall to get some furniture."
"We'll need some household appliances and such for our cohabitation, right?"
Kohaku: "But there was already a decent bit of stuff in the room they set up for us. There's a bed, a dresser... In fact, ain't it harder to figure out what we're even missin'?
HiMERU: "There weren't any cooking utensils, however. Not even a microwave, nor a knife or cutting board."
Kohaku: "We could just go back to Seisoukan to eat."
[Seisoukan refers to a dormitory where male idols affiliated with ES live together.]
Kohaku: "Or, we could just summon Niki-han. He'd happily whip up some delicious food for us."
Location: Café Cinnamon
Niki: Oh, my name popped up! Right, right... So, I got really happy, or rather, it startled me a bit, and it made me stop cooking for a sec.
Kohaku: So you really do watch the show while you're cookin'...
Niki: That's how most people do it, right? Time's tight, so they just let it play in the background while they're busy with other stuff.
The only ones glued to the screen are the hardcore fans, I bet.
Kohaku: That's not somethin' I wanted to find out... We work our tails off on these shows, hopin' folks'll watch them with passion and excitement, not as background noise.
Niki: Just like I cook every meal, hoping people will enjoy them to the max ♪
Kohaku: .........
[ ☆ ]
Gogatsubyou (May Blues) is a social phenomenon in which students or employees feel depressed from coping with the stress of change and having to adjust to the start of routine life.
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"The people who love cooking and aim to be great chefs... They often break down when they face that reality."
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Season: Spring
Location: Café Cinnamon
One week later. At Crazy:B's hangout spot, the coffee shop Cinnamon.
Kohaku: I just can't wrap my head around it...
HiMERU: What exactly are you talking about?
Niki: Nahaha, Kohaku-chan, you're making that ugly face again~♪
HiMERU: Please don't scowl like that. You're much cuter when you smile, Oukawa ♪
Kohaku: Oh, shuddup. I was born with this face, leave me be.
More importantly... I'm talkin' 'bout that show of ours—the one with the name so embarrassin' I can hardly bring myself to say it...
HiMERU: Are you referring to "Kohaku & HiMERU's Daily Joyful Cohabitation Life"?
Kohaku: Yeah, that one. How can ya say that with a straight face, HiMERU-han?
HiMERU: Once you get used to it, it's really nothing at all.
However, since the official name is unnecessarily long, it seems fans have taken to abbreviating it as "K&H JoyLife."
It appears management is also jumping on the bandwagon and using that name in hashtags
Kohaku: Where'd they even get that shortenin' from? I kinda get it, but also... don't?
HiMERU: Well, what's the issue with "JoyLife"...?
As HiMERU predicted, the show has gained notable popularity with the public.
Niki: Right. It's been updated daily for a week now, so... one, two, three... Umm, it's already on episode seven, I think? Probably?
HiMERU: ...How about taking a bit more interest in idol work, Shiina?
Niki: I'm not interested in idol work is the thing! I do like you guys, though, so I've been tuning into JoyLife pretty often.
It's easy to watch, no stress, so I just let it run in the background while I'm stuck doing tedious chores.
HiMERU: Tedious chores? Like cooking?
Niki: Huh? But it makes no sense to say cooking is tedious?
HiMERU: —Anyway. This program has gained wide acceptance, including those who casually watch videos in that manner, and its view count is skyrocketing.
It reaches beyond those indifferent to HiMERU and Oukawa, or even PBB; it's attracting those who normally care little for Crazy:B or idols altogether.
Niki: Yeah. Crazy:B's style was supposed to be pretty edgy, y'know?
It surprised me to see regular parents and kids at the store chatting about JoyLife.
Rinne-kun's been pouting, saying "They beat me to it!" He's so upset, he's been holed up in his room.
HiMERU: Heh. If only everything had been left to HiMERU from the start, instead of Amagi.
In the end, HiMERU is the best at handling Crazy:B.
Kohaku: Hmm... Well, hate to say it, but I might be with Rinne-han on this one. I really don't see what's so appealin' 'bout JoyLife.
Could it be that we're the ones who are outta touch or somethin'...?
Is there really no need for creativity or actual entertainment in a show?
If a show with us just lazin' around is this popular, then we don't have to think or do anythin' special at all, now do we...?
That's no different from the rare creatures kept at zoos or aquariums.
HiMERU: Yes. Which means that is precisely the ideal standard idols should aspire to.
There's no need for us to think at all. All we have to do is act either beautifully or cutely; in other words, just being charming is enough.
Kohaku: That's just like bein' a doll on display. I still can't accept that.
You've been actin' strange this whole time, HiMERU-han, but now even what you're sayin' has gotten weird. Are you seriously fine with acceptin' this?
HiMERU: Once again, we don't even need to accept it. To embody exactly what everyone desires, without a single millimeter of error—
Isn't that what it means to be an idol?
Kohaku: Hmm... Well, seein' how well JoyLife's doin', I can't exactly argue.
But still, it just... don't sit right with me.
Niki: I kinda get what you're saying, HiMERU-kun.
HiMERU: Shiina? You understand HiMERU?
Niki: Ah! You think I'm too dumb to understand complicated stuff, don't you! Well, that's exactly right!
But, it's kinda the same as cooking.
HiMERU: Hm...?
Niki: Chefs always wanna put their own spin on things, get fancy, but that's not really necessary. Fundamentally, you just need to stick to the recipe.
I'm satisfied with just making and eating the food, so I was pretty fine with it, but...
The other apprentices at the restaurant I trained at, they often couldn't handle the burnout and ended up quitting.
They'd say stuff like "We're not just machines in a factory, repeating the same task over and over!"
HiMERU: ......
Niki: Especially in a restaurant, you have to make the same dish over and over and over again. Like a machine.
The people who love cooking and aim to be great chefs... They often break down when they face that reality.
Being a chef and being an idol are different jobs, but in that way? They're kinda the same, right? Maybe?
"Such a contrarian. When everyone tells you to work, you laze around, but the minute they say it's fine to rest, you suddenly want to work..."
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Season: Spring
Location: An Apartment Room
Rinne: Hey, hey, hey, how long're you gonna keep chatting away like best buds?
If you don't start filming soon, this whole schedule's gonna go to shit?
It's common for internet shows, so it seems like this one's updating daily, y'know? Keep dragging your feet, and you're gonna crash and burn real fast.
Niki: Munch, munch, munch... Rinne-kuuun, this catered bento's so delicious~♪
Rinne: Tch, that ain't some fancy catered bento you're munchin' on, it's just a cheap one from a convenience store.
Niki: If it tastes good, it's good, end of story!
Kohaku: Rinne-han, Niki-han! Huh? Y'all gonna be in this show too?
Accordin' to the request form, it was supposed to be just me and HiMERU-han—the two from that PBB thing.
Rinne: Yeah, true. But that doesn't mean we get to slack off and hit the pachinko parlor while you guys work, right?
Kohaku: You literally slack off all the time.
Niki: For real, Rinne-kun, what's up with you suddenly wanting to do stuff?
HiMERU: Such a contrarian.[1] When everyone tells you to work, you laze around, but the minute they say it's fine to rest, you suddenly want to work...
Rinne: Well, yeah, you could say that. This show's a small-time project from a small-time studio, so having more hands on deck ain't a bad idea, right? Probably doing 'em a favor.
Unlike those big ES productions, they're not gonna be sweating the small stuff here.
Niki: Yeah, it's probably their first time using external talent, so that's why they had to grab convenience store bentos at the last minute. Nom nom.
HiMERU: Hm. Well, that may be fine... Shiina aside, if Amagi is left to his own devices, he might get up to no good, so it's more reassuring to keep him within sight.
Rinne: Don't talk about me like I'm some punk-ass kid. I'm a seasoned big bro with plenty of idol experience!
HiMERU: Please just don't be a hindrance.
Rinne: Yeah, yeah, I got it already. Treat us like air! Like we're not even here.
Niki: You're too gaudy to be air, though! You're more like poison gas, if anyth...
Ahh! Rinne-kun! You ate the karaage I was saving for lateeer!
HiMERU: ...Is this an elementary school field trip?
Kohaku: Well, I think it's a relief. I mean, there ain't much to do, but it's our first time dealin' with this client, so I felt a bit uneasy bein' surrounded by folks I don't know.
HiMERU: Huh? Does working alone with HiMERU make you anxious?
Kohaku: Uh, it just seems like you're actin' kinda off this time, HiMERU-han... No, well, let's just put that aside.
Kohaku: Now ain't the time for chit-chat—it's rehearsal time. We gotta make sure everything's squared away.
HiMERU: As expected of you, Oukawa. Always so serious ♪
Rinne: Kyaaa~! Kohaku-chan, you're sooo serious~!
Niki: Kyaaa ☆
Kohaku: Keep bein' such a pain, and I'll boot ya both to the curb?
Okay, well, whatever. Let's see, this time—jeez, that's such an embarrassin' name to say out loud, but here goes. "Kohaku & HiMERU's Daily Joyful Cohabitation Life" is...
Basically, the show's just me and HiMERU-han loungin' around and livin' together, right?
HiMERU: Yes. It seems we don't need to do any variety show-style games or anything to make it more exciting. The client just wants us to show our usual, friendly selves—
They believe that alone will make the viewers happy.
Kohaku: I don't get it at all... So, you're tellin' me we can just sit around doin' nothin', like we've been doin' so far?
What's so fun 'bout watchin' that?
HiMERU: Well, zoos and aquariums are fun, aren't they? This is the same kind of thing. Probably.
Kohaku: We ain't the sorta exotic creatures that would be kept captive in a place like that.
Rinne: I hate to butt in, but it really seems like that kinda laid-back, uneventful daily life's all the rage these days.
I thought it was funny and started reading a buncha PBB doujinshi, and no joke, about 80% of 'em were just like that.
You guys were just, what do you call it, going about your everyday lives.
HiMERU: Essentially, what we are about to do is a live-action adaptation of those doujinshi.
Kohaku: That's easy enough to follow, but I'm still lost on the basics here.
Seriously, is it really enjoyable to watch somethin' like that...?
If this show's gonna be aired worldwide, don't ya think it oughta be a little more interestin', have a touch of creativity or flair?
[ ☆ ]
HiMERU calls Rinne an 天邪鬼 (Amanojaku) here. When used to describe someone, it means "contrarian," but in folklore, it refers to demon-like beings known for their contrary nature; they tend to do the opposite of what they're told. They're believed to awaken a person's darkest desires, leading them to commit immoral acts. It also shares the 天 kanji from Amagi.
