Dying Bird Sounds

@tothebrinkofdarkness

Dead dogs, Dead dogs, Dead dogs, Dead dogs, Dead dogs. ;P

137 posts

loafed-beans-deactivated2020082

crab crab crab hand hand hand frighten

#this is giving an existential crisis

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therighteousdude

unicornlordart-deactivated20190

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Hey guys.

I want to know why some people get insulted when anyone says that. Like, do they not notice the fact that society has basically changed guys (dude, bro, man, boi) into the most gender neutral, hanging-out-with-your-bois terms ever?

There's always one person who just pipes up and says “and girls, I exist too”. I'm like dude, I said it to everyone in the most polite way I could. If I tried to use ‘guys and gals’, people would whine that I'm not using all the different genders or if I did use more genders, people could become prissy about using ‘more than necessary’ which is also bad.

There's no winning with trying to include other genders with a word that is already considered pretty gender neutral. So I will continue to say ‘Hey guys’ when I enter a group cause the majority of people don't care and really shouldn't care anyway.

#just let me greet people #i'm being polite

IF YOU’RE A BOY WHO LOVES BOYS GIVE ME A YEEHAW

gaysothasill-deactivated2018120

YEEHAW

FAB! IF YOU’RE A GIRL WHO LOVES GIRLS GIVE ME A YEEHAW

foundationaldecay

YEEHAW

AMAZING! IF YOU’RE AN INDIVIDUAL WHO ENJOYS BOTH, GIVE ME THE LOUDEST YEEHAW YOU CAN SUMMON

THANK YOU, MY CHILDREN

WE HAVE ASCENDED AND REACHED ULTIMATE

But wait

What about those who love girls, boys, and also the ones who don’t identify as either???

nutheadgee-deactivated20190314

I approve this message

they’re not wrong

aviewfrommercury-deactivated201

@bears-official

correct but incomplete (and therefore wrong.) consider:

aviewfrommercury-deactivated201

blocked, reported, corrected, wronged

aviewfrommercury-deactivated201

So are they or are they not bears bears? Correct me if I’m wrong, but this doesn’t seem correct…

aviewfrommercury-deactivated201

the-a-j-universe

This meme is breaking reality.

Boobs

aviewfrommercury-deactivated201

*theme from 2001 a space odyssey plays softly in the background*

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Real life sound

I really don’t like seeing gun things but this made me CRY with laughter

h0rrorgoddess-deactivated202511

rina_takei

“Why did it take you 10 minutes to clean 1 window?” “There was a cat.”

30-minute-memes

Staying Productive

quadraxic-expression-deactivate

HE CAN’T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT

One of the funniest things I ever experienced was when I went to go see John Mulaney live, and halfway through a bit about how expensive college in the States is, he looked down at the sleeve of his suit jacket and just. stopped. dead halt, mid sentence.

And after like three seconds, where we’re all trying to figure out the punchline because the story clearly hadn’t ended, and John Mulaney quietly says, “Has there been tinfoil on my buttons the whole goddamn show?”

He’d taken his suit to the drycleaner, and they’d wrapped the buttons on the sleeves and the coat with tinfoil to protect them, and John Mulaney didn’t notice until half-way through his set, and was SO FLABBERGASTED that he never did finish the story about college and instead did five minutes on how stupid it was that his buttons were reflecting the light and he just didn’t notice, and in that moment I understood more about John Mulaney as a person than I ever have.

during one of his portland shows, he noticed this like 7 year old girl in the front row and asked her (and her parents) if she ‘is aware that she is physically here right now’ or if she was just brought along. turns out her favorite john mulaney bit is the “and I’m new in town” bit and that she’s seen all his stuff. He was so shocked and discomforted by the fact a SEVEN YEAR OLD has seen his shows, that he couldn’t get through a bit about donating to charity without interrupting himself at least three times to import good life lessons on this small child, as if that makes up for all the horrible things he’s said that she heard

When I saw him in Ft. Lauderdale, there was a bar in the lobby that people kept leaving to go to. At one point, a guy in the front row just got up and BOOKED IT to get drinks. John Mulaney looked over at a woman who was next to the empty seat and asked, “Are you with him? What’s his name?”

She was, in fact, with him, and she did tell him her date’s name. John Mulaney considered this, looked around, and unplugged his microphone. Leaning in to us, he told us that we were going to trick this guy so fuckin hard. He said, “At some point during the show, I am going to stop and say, ‘Well, you guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale,’ and then you guys are all going to scream back ‘WE LOVE MILKSHAKES!’ He’ll be so confused.”

He then continued on with the show as normal, the drinks guy returned to his seat, and that was that for quite a long time. We thought he had forgotten about it until, at some point during what I believe was his McDonald’s drive-thru bit, he shrugged his shoulders and said, “You guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale…”

Naturally, we erupted with “WE LOVE MILKSHAKES” and John Mulaney SWUNG around to face the drinks guy and said, “I bet you’re real confused now, huh, JASON?!”

windyvalleyzone

ah so john mulaney is a chaotic neutral cryptid

i saw him last night and there was a good ten minute interlude where a woman told him everything she found wrong with his suit, including that his pants were too high waisted to which he replied “that’s where my hips are” and someone in the back shouted “look at that high waisted man he’s got feminine hips!” and he yelled back “that’s my joke! i’m offended!!”

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Superheroes being 197% done with wii music playing

accurate-incorrect-marvel-quotes

This is a gift to humankind

God that’s me at myself

hellyeahrihannafenty

Tom Holland does Rihanna’s “Umbrella” on Lip Sync Battle

dr0wnedperfectionist

I’m literally zendaya reacting like he didn’t have to go that hard and yet..

tothebrinkofdarkness

This is fucking beautiful?? I love it. I could with no regrets after watching this.

#tom holland you beautiful bastard #perfection #right here

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