⚤

The conversation on straight trans people always seems to go "well, they're straight, so they must occupy the societal position of straightness" or "well, they don't occupy the societal position of straightness, so they're not really straight." And both of these perspectives are awful in different ways, because the reality is that straight trans people don't occupy the societal position of straightness, and we really are straight. Both of these are true, but people either insist on misgendering us and denying our straightness, or dismissing our lived experiences as people who exist outside of allocisheteronormative standards.

everyone wants to talk about how being queerhet is a contradictory label identity but nobody wants to accept that being transhet/straight and trans is also widely considered a contradictory identity by the lgbt community for the same reasons

like we live in a cisnormative society and being gay/queer is widely seen from a cisnormative lense. a lot of people believe that the only way to be queer is to be some level of same gender attracted (non straight). so when straight trans people assert their queerness as well as their heterosexuality, theyre met with invalidation of their straight identity ("trans people cant be straight, you can be het" or otherwise calling straight trans couples and especially st4t couples "gay") and on the other hand theyre met with invalidation of their queer identity (terfs and gay transphobes saying we're just "straight breeders" and saying we have no place in the queer community). like, we literally experience very similar rhetoric and pushback on our identities that other folks with contradictory identities do. but nobody wants to accept that being straight and trans isnt widely accepted by the community or cishet people. we're either considered gay and not straight, or straight and not queer. again, because we live in a cisnormative society and most lgbt people view being queer and being gay as synonymous

The queer community as a whole does basically nothing to make itself welcoming to straight trans ppl. Like the second a gay man or lesbian transitions into a straight trans woman or trans man, there’s about 4 million transphobic cisgays gnashing their teeth and wishing ill fortune upon them and other trans people and cis allies just lowkey expect us to defect from the queer community and decide we don’t matter that much. Super useful to decide straight is the polar opposite of queer. Super cute that straight people are all lame and boring and every queer person hates them. Super funny that it’s decided that straight men being attracted to women is basically always creepy and gross, let’s not examine that bit of terf rhetoric. It’s cool to just subconsciously think every transhet person passes perfectly and didn’t want to be queer anyway. This will make trans people feel super welcome I’m sure. Im going to be annoying about this forever because when my egg cracked I spent years feeling disgusted with my sexuality because for years prior it was just accepted fact that women loved women in a good pure way and men being attracted to women was disgusting. And because my sexuality was straight there was no attempt at all by the broader queer community to reassure me that that was false, it was fine for me to be who I was, that I wasn’t two steps away from harassing a woman cuz I thought she was hot. Cishetallo people have their sexuality respected (even then it’s on thin ice cuz if they’re poly or kinky or generally nonstandard…). Transhet people do not. We’re either broadly seen as gay and victims of homophobia for that, or transphobes try and detrans us into being gnc gays because then we’re more fuckable to them and aren’t becoming evil by being trans. There might be some small social privilege transhet people can get if they pass as cis well enough just by not being gay, but it’s not like being stealth is all that wonderful either. And you can’t fall back on the queer community to help you in that situation. It can feel like that even if you don’t pass as cis. Because no one’s gonna say it but to around half of yall we don’t really count as queer and you can just forget about us because no one’s gonna call you on it cuz no one fucking cares about us. I swear even after I made myself comfortable in my sexuality (with no backup or support or encouragement from the broader queer community btw) I still feel like I’m an outsider in queer spaces, like I only belong cuz I don’t pass at all and people think I’m a cis butch lesbian. You know I used to actually cry if someone made a “hurrdurr icky straight man” joke at me cuz I was still so fragile in feeling like I wasn’t some fucking pervert for wanting to fuck women? You know I feel like a predator on dating apps cuz obviously no woman’s gonna wanna date a guy who doesn’t even look like a guy? But I transed my gender into being a straight man and no one gives a shit, I see how it rolls. Can’t wait for next year’s Pride month where I can once again be reminded I only matter if people mistake me for something Im not

today i love transhet transmascs who are married to trans women whom they love and cherish. tomorrow? who knows

this pride i am begging cis gays to not be fucking weird about straight trans ppl

i love you straight queer people. straight trans people i love you straight t4t people i love you straight aro people i love you straight ace people i love you…. thank you for being straight and queer the community needs you forever☝️thank you

happy pride to all transhets!!! we are so very wonderful :3

I just want every transhet person, especially transhet men, to know that even if we don’t have the rest of the community, we have each other 🩷 I always feel so warm by you guys and we are all in this together even if nobody else is