I feel so fucking miserable at this point.
I just want to sleep and not have to be so awake all the time.
In fact, I’m getting sick and tired of waking reality and starting to struggle with whether it’s real or not again. Day by day, it’s slipping yet again.
But honestly, I’m okay with that. If none of this is actually truly real, and I am indeed just a walking something… then this “body” is just malleable, my mind an enigmatic liminality, and my soul devoid of real physical or material existence.
I act like I have it all together, but I’m just genuinely losing my grip more and more every single day. And I’d rather hold on to what little autonomy I have left for this self-perceived lie that is “being human” or a “consciously existing being”.