Battered Slightly

My cat is dying. Not unexpected for an eighteen year old sick cat. But it’s hitting me harder than I anticipated. I love my primo prin- prin. Princessmakes our chaotic family complete.

Loving life! A day out! It’s been a tough two months, in and out of the ER and lots of bed rest. The fatigue and grey outs have been taking over. But in between I have been loving life!!! Spending time with family, chatting with friends,volunteering at sfSPCA, and sipping my tea and coffee. Even on bed bound days I have my music and video games to see me through.#vEDS #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #lovinglife #chronicillness #actuallyautististic #turtlezebra #autistic findingmyvoice #autisticontherun #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #recoveringbulimic #recoveringselfharmer #enjoyinglife #sobrietyisworthit #sober #mentalhealth #invisibleillness #wellnessjourney (at Downtown San Francisco) https://www.instagram.com/p/BydY2YiAZGi/?igshid=svau723u13h0

My kitten-corn, Princess Cupid. I collect unicorns and kittens. 8. purple #FMS_purple #fmspad #littlemomentsapp #kittencorn (at Starbucks) https://www.instagram.com/p/BxNnI_8g9Ff/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1xs48tgs2el5g

Grass with daisies. From my trip to the Maritime Park. 24. grass #FMS_grass #fmspad #littlemomentsapp #MaritimeParkSF https://www.instagram.com/p/BwpcIOGgHql/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=i2g5cicoay8v

Today cleanup begins in earnest! After the shock has warn off an the smoke has cleared at least enough for me to breathe I can finally take stock of the real damage. The mattress , obviously. Everything that hadn’t been unpacked, so most of our clothes, paperwork, the art supplies for our business, our towels and shoes and baby stuff! But in other words mostly REPLACEABLE possessions.Momentos from our loved ones passed and our alter is smoke and water damaged but mostly unscathed. The unit is not quite habitable yet. Although we are still there simply because we have no where else to go. Yes, it damaging my already failing heart and and lungs. And also hurting my medically fragile partner. But we are alive. We lost STUFF. We can find a way to deal with the smoke and constant hum of industrial strength dehumidifiers. We are upset by the total lack of humanity dealing with the the aftermath. Property management (TNDC) is still hanging up on us. But if they won’t do what’s right they are going to find out how Buddhists fight back. I think they except that we will just roll over and accept being ignored. #WeSurvived#autistic #enjoyinglife #findingmyvoice #430fire #sanfrancisco #eds#ehlersdanlossyndrome #vEDS #spoonie #autistic (at Civic Center) https://www.instagram.com/p/BwmtOTRgIxi/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1dv8yf2u9pb0n

The sooty damp start to my morning. At 3 am I got home from urgent care. At 4 am the next door neighbor started screaming for help and begging for the police. I called them. Continued till 5. Cops eventually showed up. Left while he was still in distress and screaming. 6:00 fire alarm goes off like it randomly does every few days. 6:10. Alarm goes off, ash water and smoke start pouring into our unit, flooding bathroom and soaking through the unpacked boxes from moving. (at Tenderloin, San Francisco) https://www.instagram.com/p/BwcStcvAKPW/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=klikrnh3i8d3

The sooty damp start to my morning. At 3 am I got home from urgent care. At 4 am the next door neighbor started screaming for help and begging for the police. I called them. Continued till 5. Cops eventually showed up. Left while he was still in distress and screaming. 6:00 fire alarm goes off like it randomly does every few days. 6:10. Alarm goes off, ash water and smoke start pouring into our unit, flooding bathroom and soaking through the unpacked boxes from moving. (at Tenderloin, San Francisco) https://www.instagram.com/p/BwcStcvAKPW/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=149vjbc5knqvh

There is something pink in the tree. I spotted this when I was out on my assisted walk today. 18. pink #FMS_pink #fmspad #littlemomentsapp #livingjoyfully #enjoyinglife #findingmyvoice #flamingosintrees #treesweaters (at Civic Center) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bwa-HOZAmnS/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1wycj1xent53q

Remember, it is physically impossible to do better than your best. If you are trying your best, that’s actually success. That doesn’t mean stop reaching and improving. It just means that you aren’t lazy or stupid if you didn’t reach a goal that you didn’t achieve despite 💯 effort. We are humans and life happens. #ActuallyAutistic #AspieZebra #autisticontherun #ehlersdanlossyndrome #vEDS #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #findingmyvoice #enjoyinglife #lovinglife #mentalhealth #selfcare #wellnessjourney #recoveryjourney #recoveringbulimic #recoveringselfharmer #lifeisworthit (at San Francisco, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BwKawbYHgrp/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=bg87dblxd2nm

In bed. Well most of him is. My ten year old pup is part jello I think. (Archive) 6. in bed #FMS_inbed #fmspad #littlemomentsapp https://www.instagram.com/p/Bv7GYL_nwVN/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=rt24wpvsvgoz

Seen on my last walk. 5. walk #FMS_walk #fmspad #littlemomentsapp#signsspring (at San Francisco, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bv5rJG_nTb5/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=8zry6qi5hjfm

My attempt at flatlay. 4. flat lay #FMS_flatlay #fmspad #littlemomentsapp #blackandwhite #2019 (at Tenderloin, San Francisco) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bv5qoEdnfjf/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=15gbkpf8rnmnz

This is me. A non- binary autistic Chronically I’ll gamer geek who loves life.2. this is me #FMS_thisisme #fmspad #littlemomentsapp #lovinglive #findingmyvoice #actuallyautistic #eds#vEDS #borderlinepersonalitydisorder (at Starbucks) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bvzans-HFr8/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1fv15rpv3muhg

I am autistic. This month I will probably be writing more about my experiences, since it is Autism Acceptance month. This year I don’t have the fight to advocate as strongly as usual. But I am trying. #ActuallyAutistic #AspieZebra #NoTAPuzzle #AutisticOnThe Run #ComfyNerdwear #unapologeticallyautistic #autisticandnative #findingmyvoice (at Piazza Angelo at Trinity Place) https://www.instagram.com/p/BvuwnkZnK-7/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=hemtc109kjfu

It’s Self care Sunday! The day I do what’s best for me. That includes putting on my most comfy and sensory pleasing outfits (usually sweat pants and a loose tagless t.) I take my tea and sip quietly, trying to be mindful of each swallow. #ehlersdanlossyndrome #actuallyautistic #selfcare #unfiltered #nomakeup #pinkslothsocks #recoveryjourney #wellnessjourney#mentalhealth #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #recoveringbulimic #recoveringselfharmer #enjoyinglife (at San Francisco, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BvriUt-HFeu/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=o7ao453ntza6

The Martin Luther KingJr waterfall and memorial at Yerba Buena Gardens. 30. Park #fms_park #fmspad #littlemomentsapp #FieldTrip #AroundSanFrancisco #WellnessJourney #Gardens #calmPlacesInSF (at Yerba Buena Gardens) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bvo8ylSHqyF/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1572brfyejbku

Roscoe in the mirror! 29. Mirror #fms_mirror #fmspad #littlemomentsapp #cockapoo #RoscoeSnoot (at San Francisco, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bvnf9EVHL-o/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=k62ht0xuvuit