Content Destroyer

Maintaining a consistent, reasonable goal from the outset (finish a marathon) without letting it creep up (complete 50km). Because I got attached to that stretch goal, I went out way too hard and blew up both goals. In 6 hours I was only able to make it to 39 km because I couldn't run anymore. I'm sure if I had gone much much slower I would have completed the marathon.

Strength training is non-negotiable. My hip wouldn't have given out if it were stronger. No doubt about it. I need to take strength training seriously enough that I build up a routine first so that shitty compensatory movement patterns don't take over when I get tired.

I need to fuel for the entire race, not just the first half.

Growth Questions

What were you thinking about when things fell apart? It's hard to remember exactly but I think I was thinking that I couldn't run anymore. I was thinking a lot about the physical discomfort I was in and how hot it was and I was measuring time and distance a lot in my head and how much I could put up with. I fought these thoughts hard - like, when I first thought it hurt too much to run, I started running, and it didn't hurt more than walking. I mean, it hurt to walk but it didn't hurt LESS to walk so that's what I kept reminding myself. But, this also eventually got really hard.

At what point did your mental state shift? I think I had been pushing a bit too hard for a while and the shift happened a few times. Maybe the first shift happened when I first slowed down to walk and then maybe again when I was walking and I wasn't sure if I could even keep walking. If I had just implemented a run-walk strategy from the start instead of stubbornly pushing, maybe I could have lasted.

What triggered the shift? Obviously the sun and the heat, and the length of effort. I also definitely felt myself collapse a bit inside when I saw Brad and the kids come back around 2pm - I felt safe enough to cry, you know how that happens? Seeing some of the trail sisters encouraging me made me worry that I was letting people down who were trying to support me. I don't know why I tend to think like that and then it becomes a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

If I could change one decision for this race, what would it be? I would commit to a much slower-pace and use a run-walk strategy to make sure that I could keep things going - rather than looking at walking like giving up. Because ultimately, thinking that walking was "giving up" made it much harder to start running again than if I had just planned the intervals from the outset.