seeking simplicity

I'm the master of fucking everything up. Don't mind me... I'll just be ruining everything.

"I could get used to wife you" my boyfriend at 5 in the morning as we make a snack before bed and im wearing leggings and a large sweatshirt and look like shit.

I've been streaming pretty much everyday on Twitch since July, and the last couple of days my internet has been acting up on my computer for no apparent reason. And because I am the way that I am I'm dealing with this by wanting to just give up because that would be easier and would make more people happy. I mean, it is just a waste of my time isn't it.

I can't wait to spend forever with you.

I've never been so incredibly in love with someone until him. I've never felt support until he gave his without me asking and instead asks "what else do you need from me". I've never been so excited for my future until he said "I hope one day you drop the baby bomb on me." I've never been this happy.

When he says shit like "I really want there to be a day that I wake up next to you every morning" melts my heart every time.

Last night me and my boyfriend were talking about stuff as we do and we got on the topic of our future. While we both agree this is it for us and all of that we got onto how we met online and his friends that are married said they met salsa dancing even though they met online. So we started coming up with all these completely random ideas of how we could tell people we met when they ask, now that we've been together for almost a year. So I started thinking that we should do this at our wedding and every person who asks would get a different story and then when they all talk to each other about it they would get really confused. It was fantastic. I love it.

Get you a man who calls you just to say goodnight when you're up late working 💕💕

Last night my boyfriend was over and although we were both dealing with some insomnia he asked if he could put something on and snuggle me until one of us fell asleep. Of course I said it was fine. But while we were sitting there my cat started clawing at the door to be let in and I had this moment as he got up to let her in that this is how I want to spend every night. Like it was a moment where I peaked into the future about 10 years from now and that is how happy I was. I've seriously never had this.

Guess who feels like they've completely fucked up?? And for the most minor thing.... why does my brain do this...

I love that the simplest things can make my insecurities go away. When I have a dream that causes my insecurities to go insane and make me question everything and all he has to say is "I'm all yours sweetie" in some other context and it makes them all wash away. I've never felt love like this before.