Topper's Quote of the Day

E-mail I received at work. 

A fairly tame, seemingly friendly and healthy emu showed up at our house yesterday. The horses are deathly afraid of it. Does anyone want a pet emu?

During a training on our new gel doc system.

Trainer: Sure, let's take a picture of this.  What kind of fluorescence did you use? 

This is from Emily, our half-Chinese summer student:

Granddad: Did you take my machine gun when you took my other gun? 

Brother: Um... No.

Granddad: Are you sure?

On babies: 

Me: [I don't like them because] Stuff comes unexpectedly out of both ends.

Well, you see, when you become a doctor, you gain psychic powers.  And I can shoot a laser out of my forehead. 

What if your cell was a zygote and it ate itself?

While watching Aliens, when the crew was woken up after space travel, Very Pale Guy in the movie led to this conversation.

Me: It's true.  In space, they'd get pretty white.

Julia: No, there's no atmosphere blocking UV rays!

Note: In tango, the traditional way to ask for a dance is to make eye contact.  If the eye contact is held, you then strike up a conversation before proceeding to dance. 

If she turns away - here's the great thing! - you can eye the girl next to her!

While I'm at HEB:

Little girl: I like your hair!

Me: Thanks.

Little girl: I want to touch your hair!

Me: ....

Can't they see we're doing SCIENCE?!

Seen on the back of a semi:

Have we talked about my feelings on parentheses?

Over at Barnes and Noble.

Note: I was greeting a coworker I hadn't seen in several weeks.

Me: Hi, Steven!