Boob

like love birds we sat by the ocean chatting up all night

so lovely to have such deep connection with another artist

I kept wondering if it happens every time...

security kept passing by

imagined him passing by and feeling the warmth of the fire of our young love

the memory of starting to know someone special

then he gets home to his wife who is upset because he works too much and because there’s never enough money

or to his husband who seems to always be too busy to buy him a thoughtful gift or ask him how his night went

is this normal? or did you not end up with a soulmate?

do you just get bored of people?

probably doing it all wrong

how can you get bored of someone you don’t know since you never fully know anyone?

is the fact that this guy is also an artist going to make a difference?

I want a boy to take care of me

I want a boy to fall in love w me

a boy I want to love not any boy

I’m so silly

I miss him

I want love to distract me from my own thoughts??

I want my head to be quiet

why is it so hard to be

it might be cause I’m shitty that the guys I like don’t like me back

or just wanna have sex with me

what makes me just want to have sex with a guy?

he’s boring

Maybe I’m silly cause I’m too boring to love

Here’s my bum

I feel like my heart aches so much only from feeling alone.

When I’m with him I get away from all these things in my life and suddenly it’s just me and him and getting better & stupid videos or bad movies or something. Marcos was different. His house was so quiet. It was filled with his issues but not mine. Trying to find my strawberry fields but isn’t that just using people? Trying to find somewhere else to be away from everything that stresses you out. Away from myself.

I liked Marcos a lot even though he was a big baby with a big backyard. I stopped associating with him cause he was a big baby. I have a backyard at my new house.

but I like him because he’s such an incredibly clever guy & he’s hot. He also has this nice dark room to hide in like a little cave away from the world idk. And even though he’s sad I’m still away from my home. Problem with him is he’s not over his ex. & he always has girl problems. So it can be difficult to be in his cave sometimes & not feel out of place.

the time I was with him it was as if he actually liked me. he even said

“that’s why-I was gonna say ‘I love you’ -but you say shit like that”

the entire time I felt he actually liked me

then I left and we got weird again

when we’re apart is like he doesn’t care

but when we’re together it feels like home

we buried his mom’s cat that passed together

we watched movies all night

we wrestled & had tickle fights

I tattooed him

he pulls me close when we walk out on the street

so many little things

& I’m so anxious watching his every move scared to get hurt

being irrational

he has a big backyard

and he is very tall.

he asked me to sleep over two days in a row.

i could tell he was lonely & excited.

it only took him two days to realize I’m not as amazing as he thought.

there was this drastic change on his behavior.

this is kind of how I act when I’m no longer interested in someone.

or I notice something that kills them for me.

idk what it was about me that made him blow me out.

I think I do. I think it’s the way I act when I’m not comfortable.

he says as he zips his pants up

& looks me in the eyes

I’m quiet chaos

and boy you’re beautiful

and you’re one of a kind

I can tell

but my mind just keeps thinking

how do I get far from you

rather than how do I get closer

and I’m not sure what is it about some guys

but sometimes you just want someone

and I wanted it to be you