this is a quality-content free zone

this too shall pass but the fuck was that for

this is why everyone on this website is a virgin

I’m not gonna fuck the telemarketer man

shoutout to whoever stole my amazon package containing nothing but a single pair of shoelaces.

accidentally said "invasive thoughts" instead of "intrusive thoughts" today and actually I think I'm onto something. this thought does not belong here and it is harming the local ecosystem

that was meant to be Coton de Tulear but autocorrect decided that I wanted to say something different

Grace is one of the most classic things to fall from

That and the monkey barrrsssss

no, mother... you should have read my supposed "school field trip" permission slip closer.... i foresaw your betrayal a mile away.... im afraid, mother, it is you who has been sold to one direction

I was cleaning the kitchen and noticed my roommate left part of an onion on the counter after cooking and for some stupid fucking reason instead of asking about it like a normal person I went to them holding the onion in my hand as if it were an injured bird and asked “what do you desire of his fate”

the reason I casually say charlie kirk's wife had him killed is not necessarily because I believe it, but because nothing stops the right from spouting random conspiracy theories about political enemies, so i'll say whatever the hell I want when one of their idols dies. also it's funny. the entire charlie kirk death is inherently funny. he was in the middle of answering a question related to mass shootings when he died.

How dare you put things in chronological order

has anyone figured out how to turn off the thing where you love your pet so much it slides inexorably into grief-borrowing