Too Punny

The recipe said "Set the oven to 180 degrees" so I did, but now I can't open it because the door faces the wall

One time somebody said if I was an element, I'd be copper. Then someone else told me I'm tellurium. Does that mean I'm CuTe?

Hackers brought down my online business but I managed to keep the website address and that's domain thing.

I got a job in a health club, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

The artist thought his favourite paint had been stolen, but it was just a pigment of his imagination.

"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible" "Well, tell him I can't see him right now."

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I have a hunch, it might be me.

Did you hear about the 2 silk worms in a race? It ended in a tie!

I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.

What was Forrest Gump's email password? "1forrest1"

Justice is a dish best served cold because if it were served warm, it would be justwater.

What do you have to do to have a party in space? You have to Planet.